So here we go....the final stretch....to never ending happiness, safety....satisfaction..
More like the very begining of hopefully the end! I am sure i have stayed clean for 90 days befor without counting in yeshiva days etc..but i hope this can be different, the start of the rest of my life.
I have realised that I can still be 'normal' and have a regular conversation with a pretty women without lusting, without doing everything I can to make such a connection happen. I think I will always have a preference for dealing/inviting/helping the prettier ppl, but i think that is normal..as long as hopefully i can keep the lust under control, wherer im stressed, or my wife is annoying me, or she is ossur, i hope I can stay strong in this area and therefore work on the endless other areas that i need to do. IYH i can continue this till ellul and beyond...so that come rosh hashonah i will have the usual tremendous guilt for what i have done, but will least know that i can show some achievement however small in comparison.
So as i celebrate the 90 days iyh on erev shavuos by myself as my wife knows nothing....i felt the need to express the thought above by way of talking to myself..so excuse me if its boring.....i hope that I can give a miniscule amount of chizuk as payback for the immense benefit i received from this site.......
