Mazal Tov, Hoping!

Start dancing, Chevra!  :D ;D

www.guardyoureyes.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/The-Barditchever-Nigun.mp3

A few weeks ago I was by a levaya for a chashuva Tzadik who I was close to. While being Melave the Aron, I cried my eyes out. I myself could not believe how much I was crying.
This week I was by a קבורה  of a relative and the burial was particularly difficult because the ground was wet and muddy. I sweated through all of my clothing.

Last night I saw the following in the Sefer זיבולא בתרייתא (a sefer on Minhagim of Chevra Kadisha) the following: תיקון לעון קרי להוריד דמעות על אדם כשר Then he says: זיעה של אדם המטריח בקבורת מתים תיקון לעוון הנל

(loosly translated: crying over the death of a good person and the sweat of working to bury the dead are a Tikkun for the sin of ma*****)

I felt like this was a message from Hashem and I had to share it.

OK HOPING

NOW DRINK A LICHAIM(LIKE CHASSIDIM DO AFTER A LEVAYA R"L)

AND LIV LIVE LIVE

VCHAY BAHEM!!!!
b

hoping wrote on 02 Sep 2009 13:42:


I doubt that there is anyone alive today who needs no Tikun in this area.  But I believe it is enough to sweat in the performance of any Mitzvah.  This way, we can get the Tikun without anyone having to, c"v, die.

10-4

Just a thought-

We all go through different periods during the day/week/month etc. Sometimes we are in a bad mood, stressed out, or the like. During a time of stress, it is difficult to work on fighting the YH. Yet that is exactly when he is at his strongest. When the YH is not bothering us, we tend not to think about him to much. But the truth is, the only way to be successful and act properly during the difficult times ,is if we prepare ourselves by fortifying our awareness of HKBH when things are calm. That way, when times get tough, it will be easier for us to turn to Him. Also, if we train ourselves to be more selfless, we have a better chance of not becoming self-serving when we are sad/ upset/ depressed/ stressed.

I' am having a rough day today.

I wish I would follow my own advice a little more....

Dear Hoping,

Please set up some serious Gedarim to keep you several steps from, c"v, falling.  Wishing you much Hatzlacha! 

hoping wrote on 08 Sep 2009 12:02:


Dear hoping - I'm having a rough one too, kind of squirrely inside the old head. Thanks.
Just a thought regarding Keriyas Shema: The halocha is that lechatchila we are to hear what our own mouths are saying, but are yotzei just by saying it. But it's bidieved. R' Yosi holds we are not yotzei at all w/o hearing it. This goes for bentching, too, and any other "speaking" mitzvah. Nu. Just something to think about, as I consider that halocha is reflecting a lesson in practicality, here. We rarely really hear what we are saying, often don't follow our own advice, either.
Sometimes when I feel the way you may be describing, I need to actually shut up occasionally (a tall order for me!!) and follow someone else's advice. It could be Hashem's, it could be a person's - no matter. As long as it isn't me. If it sounds useful, I go with it.
Just a thought...
Keep on walking be"H, friend.

Thank you Kedusha and Dov for your responses.

Thank you BARDICHEV for cheering me up with your posts all over the forum.

I can not live my life on autopilot anymore. I KNOW where that takes me. I spent many years living in autopilot mode, even growing in learning and other areas, all while running on auto. For me, recovery is a change to manual shift. I have to proactively live in recovery so that I don't need the lust. That includes living with Hashem and focusing on fulfilling the needs of others rather than my own needs. Today I was under a lot of pressure (financial and personal), and I did not turn to Hashem as I should have. Thank G-d, I did not succumb to lust. This was a total, undeserved gift from Hashem (I know, every day is-but this one doesn't even make sense). Even when I C"V forget Hashem, He never forgets me. I must go back to actively living in recovery if I want any hope of staying sober. I hope that I will succeed tomorrow in living as I need to. I fear falling backwards if I do not continue to move forwards.

I do not know if my ramble makes sense to anyone, but I had to get it off my chest.

Hoping, if that doesn't make sense then nothing does! That's recovery in a nutshell!

Ditto Battleworn.

And hoping:

[size=40pt]take it eeeeasy, bud

ahhhhh.   :D :D 8) 8)

You're an inspiration, Hoping!

Dear Chavra (and especially Guard)-

The Rosh hashana that I just had is incomparable to any other that I had experienced in the past. I still have a very long way to go, but I felt that I have at least an opening in my life with which I can relate to Hashem. It is not that I am anywhere near where I should be, it is the fact that I can honestly assess where I am right now and make a commitment to improve. While acting out with my addiction, I never was able to look honestly at where I was. I felt like a big rasha mixed up with a Tzaddik. Now I know that I am neither. Rather I am a Yid who is trying to get closer to Hashem. Before, I was not happy with who I was, always thinking that if only I learned/davened better,I wouldn't lust so much. I did not involve G-d too much; I would do this on my own. Now, my life revolves around Hashem. Not much has changed, yet everything has changed. I have not entirely lost my tendency towards lust, but my shemiras ainayim is at a level that I have never kept before. I have not suddenly begun to do everything right, but I can honestly say to Hashem that I am on the path to improvement and that I am fully accepting Him as my boss. This, for me, was the first time that I was able to mean it when I declared the Malchiyus of Hahem on Rosh Hashana.

Thank you everyone. It is to you that I owe my new lease on life.

ACE laasos LaHashem