Hoping, you're really heading in the right direction! Did you see my "The Torah approach" post? If not please check it out. It's the first post over here: rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=602.0

You are one of the most inspiring people on this forum!

Thank ou Guard for the Chizuk. I have not felt very inspiring or inspired today. My family being away causes a deep hole in my life and for the first time since I joined this forum I felt like I was fighting without any real Ratzon. The ONLY ONLY ONLY reason that I did not give in was this forum and I owe you my life!! Now I know that it is unhealthy for me to be in this mindset and situation. I need an attitude makeover from bardichev who somehow is always cheerful. I was reading through his thread and right then and there  started crying to Hashem to please help me and the tears were flowing and I was not in a completely private place and people must have seen but I don't care because this is my life I am talking about! I hope that Hashem will give me the strength to make the adjustments I need to get through this very difficult part of my journey. I guess that Hashem would not put me in this situation if I could not handle it.

Please excuse me if this post seems a bit melodramatic but it is an honest description of what I've been feeling. I thank all of you for allowing my battle to continue for yet another day.

Dearest freind,
I have no magical words to offer you, all I can offer is my sincere empathy and say that I hurt for you ;( its awful to feel as you describe. Gimel Zayin Yud. hold on just a little bit longer - as the old MBD song goes - Shabbos is coming don't forget to let us know when the sun comes out
Noorah

Hoping, did I not say you are one of the most inspiring people on this forum? Your last post PROVES IT MORE THAN ANYTHING. You are the type of warrior that Hashem rejoices with everyday and says to his angels "look how my child finds me and cries to me, even in the darkest of the dark!!. I can hide from the whole world, but I can't hide from "Hoping", because his Emunah is not based on what he has NOW, but rather on his "hoping" to Me, to the future, to the light - "Tzipisa li'yeshua". And from such people, I cannot hide. They will always find me even in the darkest places, for they are HOPING!!"

Being alone is indeed tough for an addict, but see Duvid Chaim's letter here, it can help give you perspective Tzadik!

P.S. And if you aren't on the line 4 X a week with us, GET ON THE LINE  ;D (See this page for info). This is truly a life-saving/life changing program!

HOLIEST TZADDIK HOPING

WOWWWWWW WAS I TOUCHED BY YOUR WORDS




WOW

LISTEN EVERY PERSON IS DIFFERRENT I TRY TO NOT TAKE MYSELF TOO SERIOUS

AND TRY TO LAUGH AT MYSELF A BIT!!

IT IS VERY HEALTHY

ALSO WE ALL NEED TO BOOST UP OUR BITACHON

HASHEM SENDS US EVERY NISAYON CUSTOM MADE FOR US

NOT TO "KLOP" US DOWN RATHER TO STRENGTHEN OUR RESISTANCE TO THE Y"H

IT IS NOT EASY BUT.. BUT...

IT IS THE ESSENCE OF OUR EXISTANCE ON THIS WORLD

ONE MORE THING

CELEBRATE EVERY VICTORY OR EVEN MINI VICTORY YOU HAVE

DRINK A LCHAIM!!!

ONE LAST THING

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF!!! (you probably do )

WITH ALL MY LOVE
BARDICHEV

B"H I'm feeling much better today. It is good that I did not stumble yesterday and I feel stronger today from the experience. It is already Wed. and I can start looking forward to the end of the week. I think that yesterday was the biggest Nisayon I have had because it was not a direct attack on my senses from an image that I had to resist. That is a battle that I was ready to fight.I was not ready for the feeling of loneliness that crept up on me unannounced and threatened to make me crazy if I didn't give in. I didn't even feel Tayva in the typical sense, just sought to act out as a form of self comfort. How convoluted is that! Anyhow, B"H I think that today is 39 days which gets me to Day 40 on Shiva Assar Betamuz-just in time for me to strengthen my Tefila- as Battleworn wrote somewhere on the Forum. I thank everyone who wrote me Divrei Chizuk.

PS Bardichev I have to learn to take myself a little less seriously. How'd you know?

EVRYONE TAKES THEM SELVES TOO SERIOUS

WHY DO WE SPEND MONEY TO HAVE OTHERS CHEER US UP AND LAUGH AT OURSELVES

I SAVE MONEY AND LAUGH AT MYSELF

FOR FREE
b

Hi Hoping, did you see the very bottom of today's chizuk e-mail (#524)? 

Thank You Guard!

I didn't notice it till you pointed it out. The powerpoint presentation is a must for everyone, addicted or not!

its gevaldigggggggggggggggg

b

I can't believe it! This is the first week in my life that I can go back to my wife in the country without feeling guilty about how I spent the week. I will be going this afternoon and will try not to go  on the computer at all till I come back Sunday. I thank everyone again on this site. You saved me this week.

BTW yesterday I had an incident where I really felt that Hashem was with me in a way that I had never felt before (unrelated to my addiction). Let me just say that Dov is 100% right when he discusses the importance of the way he feels that Hashem is with him. It is an unreal feeling.

YOU DEFINATELY DESERVE A BOTTLE OF WOODFORD

http://www.refinedvices.com/newsimages/rum/woodfordreserveps.jpg

HAVE THE BEST SHABBOS YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE!!!
humble and happy

bardichev

B'H I'm back after a wonderful weekend and Shabbos. I don't have time to post now just wanted to give an update.

hoping it"s going to be a tough day in the country

HANG TOUGH!

b