Hello everyone, first of all this site is absolutely amazing. Thank you so much whoever you are for starting the site. There are tons of great orginizations out there all doing good things, but your are simply changing lives, without you (and all the people giving encouragment)so many of us would still be deep deep down, maybe rising up a little once in a while, but overall stuck very firmly were we wish we weren't.
Anyway B"H I'm 63 days clean, from p**n or masturbation. I didn't post a thread here right away because I was scared it would last a week maybe two if I was lucky, just like many many other times I decided once and for all THATS IT, and there I was a couple days later right back again. But what can I say, B"H I'm already clean probaly at least double as long as I ever was before. And the truth is even those times that I was clean for a month, I wasn't as clean as I now because then it was fueled my learning and lack of Internet, it was only a matter of time untill a clean like that ends.
But now I really am clean; I could but I don't and somtimes I really want to but don't. I hope that this is the type of clean that lasts.
Btw just reading everyone else's post's was very helpful to me, the stories and situations that are so similar to my own made me feel that I was part of a group working together.
So I'm looking forward to be able to report back in 27 days march 23 exactly one week before pesach that I made it. It will be amazing.
(the truth is I'm  pretty scared let's say I don't make it, I'll be so down, bein hazmanim is always the worst time)

Dear NewMe,

I am the admin of GYE. Welcome to the forum. It's so nice so read how our work is helping precious Yidden like you every day...

Bein hazmanim is a hard time, but you can prepare for it in advance. Read Tool #3 called "Making Fences" in the GYE Handbook (link below). There's a section there called "Bein Hazmanim".

63 days is a wonderful streak. As you surely have heard here already, scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Welcome Newme!! 63 days?? wow!!!!! Keep it up. from your post it seems like your really doing good. Keep it up.

About bein hazmanim. Yeah im nervous too about that time of year. Why dont you post more often then this way youll be able to get chizuk from others on the forum??

Either way, wishing you much hatzlacha and keep up the great work!

Wow! That is truly amazing!

If I can point something out, though - being clean for 90 days is tremendous. But for me, part of the growth was opening up and exploring what made me tick, what made me do these things...and having other people give me chizuk.

Also, having to post on a regular basis made me more aware of what was (is) going on inside me.

It might help you, too.

Either way, Lots of hatzlacha!

um okay yesterday was 70 buuuut i just sliped, I looked at some improper pictures, it wasn't real real bad stuff but i guess you could say bad stuff, (it wasnt even a site meant for that purpose), but one thing led to another and it took me about two min till I I snapped myself out of it. One thing for sure i am stopping it right now and this will lead nowhere. 
Can I continue my count ? it wasn't planned or delibirate at all i was jus so close and i thought just click it for a second which I did but then I looked a second more and was cought. But for sure total time was about 2 minuets not more. Please let me continue it's already 70 days doing very well, this was a one time slip.
(as to why it wasnt filtered 1. i happened to be using someine else's computer 2. as i said it wasnt a porn site most probaly a filter would let it.(maybe not))
I feel so stupid, as I said before I just cant see myself really making it through bain hazmanim (yes i know it didnt even start)

NewMe wrote on 03 Mar 2010 11:51:


I am not an interpreter of the 90 day rules, NewMe. But let me tell you this. two things. First of all, dont tell yourself it wasnt such bad stuff. Thats the Yetzer Hara telling you next time it will be ok to look again. Right now, tell yyourself, that was Assur to see even if it wasnt nudity or anything like that. Dont let the Yetzer Hara infultrate into your mind. Second of all, DO NOT get down because of this. This would again be a ploy of the Y'H. You should be doing the opposite actually. Rejoice in your short term victory. Hashem pulled you out before anythign got out of hand. Thank Hashem for this. Then be happy that your father is watching you.

Be good!

-Yiddle

Write me at eyes.guard@gmail.com from the ruling on this "slip" 

We all slip, we all do stupid things sometimes, but you need to realize something - you CAn make it through bein hazmanim, and the rest of your life - but that's not what you focus on. One day at a time.

You can do this, even though it might seem impossible. I promise you that you are capable of doing so much more than you realize! I mean, 70 days? That's amazing, all by itself!

Keep on rocking!