I recently saw a post or two about members of our chavura who are starting the shiduchin process. I would certainly appreciate what Guard and other members of this forum have to say in this regard. I have a feeling, however, that sexual purity during this process is an essential element in determining how, when and if we will marry our true zivug.
Not so long ago I went through this parsha. Then I totally lost control of myself. Needless to say, there was zero siyata d'shamaim during this time. For unexplicable reasons, nothing seemed to work. I myself, without cause, rejected many superb proposals. My mind was in a blur, not knowing what was really important. Of course, I would say to myself that I was looking for good midos etc, but subconciously, I was really looking for someone that I would think would be good in bed. I knew that my tumah was preventing me from reaching my true zivug and I tried a few times to stop unsuccessfully. After some years I did get marry, but on this I will not elaborate now.
