Day 8:

I think the community is missing something, I think it's missing me. I hope to be in shalom with everyone in the community even though I don't look at the women there.
I felt at home, although I don't show it. I would say that I just missed giving a few words of Torah.

May it be the will of the Holy Blessed One, that I have more opportunities to be known through the Torah and be accepted even if I don't have much money.

How can I be sure that Hashem will always be with me, will always love me?

Thats an age-old question that isnt easily answered. 
A big portion of Chovas Halvoves deals with this question. 
The short answer is that there are many sources all throut Tanach and G'mara that tell us that even if a person sins greatly, Hashem is always with him, there is no such a thing as Hashem throwing away a Yid, He can make himself hidden so that the Yid will be forced to look for Him and therefore grow closer to Him. 

Due to my socio-economic difference from the Jewish community, I am feeling feelings of inferiority, shame, among other things. I don't know if I could bear to go another Shabbat with the same shirt and vest.

But I don't really care about money, I just want to fulfill mitzvot and for that it is necessary to have a community.
הכל יהיה טוב

I was very wrong. Everything we have is borrowed, Hashem gives it to us to take away and so we repair.

So I am going to take advantage of all the time I can attend this community to be prepared for when they are going to take it away from me, the socioeconomic difference is further proof that it is an undeserved loan.

Shabbat Shalom.