Gm it’s day 41 for me. I’m a bit confused I see so many people here were clean for 90 day plus and are just falling right back in   I’m trying to get a sense of what the whole point of 90 days is 

otwtograteness wrote on 26 Feb 2025 15:36:

Shalom Brother and welcome,

Firstly, ashrecha on your 41 days!

There could be a lot going on. The nisayon isn't always predictable, and various circumstances can challenge a person regardless of how many days his streak is. The 90 clean days creates a space to build lasting change, but that inner work should be done too. If the count is only external (white-knuckling and/or purely lack of access) then a person may find themselves suddenly back into the things they avoided rather than trying to learn how to deal with them. 

Keeping the focus on you: At day 41, besides being clean today, what are you working on to improve your life? How are you changing as a person? What will be the difference between day 89, 90, 91, and 901? Change takes time and this is something we work on one day at a time. 90 days is a goal for some as a good generic block of time to realize and establish their own development.

Falling after any number of days doesn't mean someone didn't grow and they are back where they started. There can be trials and mistakes and we can pick up the new day armed with the effort we put it and the things we've learned.


From your previous post on another thread, you mentioned that you don't know how 40 days happened for you. That's exactly what you should consider trying to figure out. What's different? Might be helpful for you to chap a shmooze with one of the great mentors here, if you feel ready.

HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, ChaimOigen – chaim.oigen@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com, Iwannalivereal iwannalivereal@gmail.com, Vehkam vehkam7@gmail.com, Amevakesh amevakesh23@gmail.com, ProudYungerman proudyungerman@gmail.com, Iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me, and I’m sorry that there are others I’ve surely left out.

Hatzlacha

Great question and answer, thank you Reb otwtograteness and Reb BenHashemBH, it's  just where I'm holding and thinking about, thank you for bringing this up. I'm holding at 47 bh, mainly thanks to installing GYE at home and having a tekufah with hardly any (but still too many) opportunities for inappropriate images at home or work. However, my streaks in the past have been broken by sudden opportunities (including after taking a device to TAG) for going online with less protection. I hope that the daily program, f2f, and wonderful support on the forums will build me up to succeed in any next unexpected nisayon that experience has shown me that I have to expect. I also understand that it's important to plan for getting up quickly after a fall.
Am I taking the correct and realistic outlook for continued growth even if I may have future falls?
Best regards Rabboisai.