Of course not

eerie wrote on 26 Jan 2025 18:02:

Awsome that's good to hear on that note: DAY 14!

@the grave you sound like a rockstar.     Please call me so I could curse you out also and give you some existential dread(was that the right word) lol   you sound like the type of yid I wanna fabraing with maybe a zemer from yonah cash.       Hatslcha keep us posted.

lamaazavtuni wrote on 27 Jan 2025 04:11:

lol! you're too funny, I'll farbrang anytime! thx for the complements.
see ya!

So here I am day 16, I've been feeling like crud for the past two days (some emotional turbulence.)  I think some people call it "flat-line" where you feel like trash b/c you're not feeding the monster if you get my drift. whatever it is, I feel the ground shaking it may just be a matter of time I'll try to keep busy, surf some waves whatever. dang, I don't want to start the count again. I guess this is what separates the men from the boys, right? Heh, 
I should be fine...
see ya on the flippiddy flop.

Hey thegrave! Pardon the gallows humor, but "it may just be a matter of time" sounds like a death wish to me. You're likely experiencing withdrawal-like symptoms; your body is mad that it's not being served its usual dish of comfort food. I can assure you, it's most definitely not just a matter of time. Hang in there, I promise it'll get easier! Easy maybe not, but definitely easier. We've got your back friend!

Day 18: I just read @Pickamonkier's thread and I'm speechless.

Hey know I'm few days since your feeling flat.  Your describing my feeling thanks for putting it out there.   Feel flat  but remember it's easiest to roll on a flat surface!!!

For what it's worth, my understanding of this is when we resolve "Never again" your brain releases tons of adrenaline and that's why the beginning of the journey is euphoric for many people.  In psychology it's known as uninformed optimism.  In other words, I've got this I've won the system etc... Then after a few weeks this wears off and you enter what is known as the "valley of despair" you feel its too hard and your climbing up Mount Kilimanjaro sdrawkcab, oops sorry I meant to write backwards.  However, there is good news because as you climb you start to reach the third stage known as "informed optimism" meaning that despite the fact you know it's hard, you've learnt how to manage the urges when they come, the euphoria is no longer there but the knowledge and skills you've learnt in how to deal with urges, stress, boredom etc.. are there and you will be matzliach with Siyata D'shamaya.  All of this psychological mumbo jumbo can be explained through the lens of Torah too, PM me if you like.

lamaazavtuni wrote on 03 Feb 2025 05:27:

Hey I'm glad you got chizuk!
fair point keep rollin'!

yosefms wrote on 03 Feb 2025 09:04:

Had to search up what Mount Kilimanjaro sdrawkcab was, anyway officially a bucket list place to visit. I definitely found your "article" very informative and will keep it in mind. I feel psychology and Torah goes hand in hand, but feel free if you want to explain it to others.

Day 22 all's been going well just giving an update 

I just clocked in day 23 which means I'm a week away from 30 days! the last time I made it this far was 6 months ago (not officially on GYE.)
looking back at my journal the first 30 days were the hardest, after that the momentum sort of carried me to 60 then 90 and then back to 0. 
so i'm going to try something different and that is to start working on a long term plan after 30 days instead of 90 and put this whole count thing in the back seat. because at the end of the day I feel quitting has to come from an authentic place and the only thing holding me back right now is a number.

"My life has been dictated by my right hand" - lead guitarist Mark Knopfler 

Day 24: ok so I experimented today and I think the outcome was pretty interesting I sat down to eat some candy and after one bite I decided, "why not practice some urge surfing?" so I set a timer for 20 min and told myself "I cant have another bite till the time is up." not gonna lie it felt the same way urges feel regarding porn & masturbating. I was pacing, telling my self "this is stupid," I couldn't concentrate ETC. there were 2 things holding me back
One: the 20 min timer.
Two: the bragging rights of being able to post this on forums AKA Guyvah (lol.) 

so yeah, interesting experiment, and so how dose this apply to PMO? good question! when it comes to "the battle" there's very little you can do. Its a whole lot better to just avoid the "candy" in the first place. but there's a catch; what about our natural urges how can we avoid that? the truth is we can't. so i'm stuck. I don't know what to say, I guess I need to chew on it for a while (pun intended) 

also, I've yet to find a good enough reason to stop PMO long term other than the 90 day count, because the truth is PMO dose feel really good the only negative; is my reaction afterwards. as messed up as that seems its the truth.
Let's say hypothetically PMO becomes mutar tomorrow would you hold out? I don't know if I would.
what if my (future) wife said shes ok with it? would I still be scared of falling? probably not.
Unless I can find such an absolute reason to stop IE cigarettes = cancer. I don't know if I would.
feel free to share your thoughts 

Day 28: Almost there! (30). today I was thinking back of the times I used to be in the vicious cycle of watching porn for hours and hours. then smoking and drinking to numb the guilt and pain I would be in afterwards. that was probably a bad idea because now I'm triggered (lol.) either way I asked chat gpt for a good line to help me through my triggers and this is what it came up with:

"I am choosing to break free from PMO, not only for myself, but for the love and connection I will share with my future partner. I am clearing my mind body and soul to become the person I am destined to be-someone worthy of the love I seek and in alignment with my higher purpose. every moment I resist strengthens my resolve to be present, grounded,and fully capable of embracing the love and spiritual growth I'm meant for."  

not too shabby i gotta say I hope one day I can wright my own, till then KOMT!