You're a real inspiration.
I hope to be like you

Day 85.

I was reading TBOTG in bed last night, and I was thinking back over my life. I burst into the most bitter tears.
Why? Why did I have to suffer like that?
I know that now I'm a much stronger person, but still, Why me?
Why did I have to discover all that terrible tumah at such a young age?
Why didn't anyone see a young boy in pain??
Until 8th grade I was the top boy in my class in everything, After that I walked around with this shame and guilt, I cant even put into words. My learning was downhill, and I suffer with the consequences till today.
I know that we don't ask why of the Ribono Shel Olam, But the pain is just too much.

I realized that this is a major Eis ratzon for me. Hashem was watching his child, me, in this pain, He was Crying with me.

I burst into more tears.

But I changed it to Why do We have to suffer like this?

Hashem we cant stand this Galus, we want to serve you. We really do. You know whats in our hearts. We want to be Mamlich you, we want it to be known that Hashem Echad.

When Moshiach comes we wont be so confused.

How much longer can we do this for. I'm just one child of yours but there's so many more, they just want to be good Yidden. Its just so hard.

Please end this Galus. 'למענך ה

Bh I was able to change it from pain to Tefillah. And Bezh well bring the Korban Pesach in two weeks

Hug, Hug, and another Hug! I'm looking forward to bringing that Korbon together with you. And looking forward to hearing you sing Hallel from the depths of your soul. It's gonna be a special song, and I hope to join you. I only hope I don't burst into tears out loud when I do.

You had me crying by my computer.... such raw pain and feeling..... the zechusim youve engendered these 85 days......

With a ton of brotherly love,
Muttel

I'm sitting here crying along with you.  Oy, may Hashem accept the special teffilois from a special guy!

I'm proud to say, I had a nisayon today, one that I've had many times, and I wasn't embarrassed to reach out to a friend.

Day 86

Although GYE is great for me, there is one pitfall. I start randomly browsing.


I use an internet kiosk, so its filtered, but still I don't think its good for me.


I commit to only using the internet for GYE or absolutely necessary chores until Pesach Bezh. 

Ayin sham this post guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/414745-Chaims-Oigen#414748 />

tears in my eyes on that really raw post!
look when moshiach comes and were bringing the korban peseach in 2 weeks, its goona be because of uuuuuuuuuu! ( and the rest of these WARRIORS on here).  this is the greatest nisayon and yetser in history and were the guys fighting it, so its pretty obvious whos bringing moshaich and ending this golus.
keep inspiring us!

Day 90!

Beezras Hashem I am holding at 90 days clean!  An amazing accomplishment, I couldn't have done it without those special chaverim to guide me and be mechazek me along the way.

Although GYE makes a big pump about the '90 Day challenge'. 90 days is not an end goal unto itself. Yes, we have to encourage ourselves and I'm not taking that away. But nothing changes for me at day 91.

Besides for one thing does change.

I was proven wrong, Ill be מודה אל האמת, I Was Wrong.

I thought this was who I was, an uncontrolled person, with a perverted mind, well, I WAS WRONG.

YES, its possible to break free, even if your way past שבע יפול...

Not everyone has the same story, we each have our own tale to tell. The truth is each of our stories are really tough, many are heartbreaking. There's just one common denominator, the saddest part of each of our stories is, thinking that we cant.

Well, 90 days taught me that its possible.

Maybe some guys will get this realization after just a week, or some after a year. But everyone at some point will come to realize that they were wrong. Simply wrong. Your not an addict, your not sick, your not a perverted mind, and your struggles don't define you.

KOMT, Thank you all for your constant chizuk, it really got me somewhere I didn't think was possible.

MAZAL TOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! beautiful!!! we are all so so excited for you!!! you know i look at you like my shutef a little... we joined around the same time!! so this is a huge inspiration for me!!! just to see how far youv'e come! your a true light to us all!!! so yes mazal tov again, and our brocha to you is that you should continue shteiging the way you are!!! keep it up buddy!! wow wow wow!

Mazal tov mazal tov!!! This is amazing that you reached such a milestone and keep it up.
I want to publicly (as public as a anonymous thread is) for your inspiration more on the phone then here which to me is a lot and a great push to move forward and succeed. 

My tayeraeh R Mendel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   MAZEL TOV MAZEL TOV I'm dancing for you with you . All the ideas/lessons/inspiration/self control/rewiring/kedusha. You learned and worked for should continue vaiter and should be a maylits yoisher for your continued success in all areas off your life!!!      Wooooooooo I'm crazy excited for you. !!!! This is a moment you should sear onto your heart and never forget .        
     Hazlacha rabah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And don't forget your chavrusas in this sugya who are still trying to get phat in this shvera shvera sugya.                      
 Mendy thanks for all the chizuk and tefilos that you gave to me personally and I'm sure for tens if not hundreds of other neshamois on gye.         
        Your tayeraeh yedid    that's koshur with the strongest ruchniyous bond to you.         KEEP TRUCKING 

Mazal Tov on the milestone R'Mendy!! You are an inspiration.

 As echoed by  others make sure to stick around and continue to help others.  

Mazel Tov on 90 days!!!

It's been a tremendous chizzuk following your journey, and I'm looking forward to watching you continue to grow.

Keep it up!

Mazal tov!

May you be zoche to many more clean happy days bezH.

Your words "it really got me somewhere I didn't think was possible." are a most powerful derher. We think we know what we are capable of, where we can get to. But sometimes Hashem sends us this kind of undeniable pircha, an achievement so off our radar we have no choice but to admit, we really dont know the heights we are capable of reaching.

KOMT and may you be zoche to keep on finding new height in all areas.