To my dear fellow beloved GYE members,
I started my 90 day journey and really hoped to make it thru... however I am up do day 61 and oops, I fell, that hurts.. badly! and more than all i blame my self being that i knew i shouldn't have crossed a line... however i woke up in a very bad mode, i have it sometimes where i feel that I don't care about rochniyou's (basically suicidal brochniyou's), I am really hurt being that its right after the holy day of Rosh Hashanah which i really cried my heart out to hashem to help me..

People, dear brothers help me, I am crying, my heart is crying and I am confused how to react and get back on track and more than all how to avoid it from happening again.

Please hold my hand tight in times of need!
love you all dear brothers who are in this together!

61 days! That's amazing! A fall doesn't take away the fact that the streak is amazing.
I feel for you that you fell after such a streak, it's freakin painful and we're rooting for you moving forwrd.

Regarding moving forward, one of the YH's massive tactics after a fall is to tell you that "you fell and you don't have a streak anyway so act away". Though I have the same feelings after falls and I am sure many of us have it, so it's totally normal and relatable, the truth is it's ONE FAT LIE. Why the hell does one fall rationalize another? So our avoida after a fall is to not think about it and be happy with yourself that your fighting and pick back up (at a later time you can think about teshuva, I hope this aint kefira). Overthinking about our falls will just pull our mood down and make us fall again.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

Ouch, ouch, and ouch. I can't imagine the pain! That has really got to be hurtful. The emotional pain, the momentum that's gone. The failing of failure. Really ouch!!!

I'm just trying to feel your pain, and hold your hand. That's it, for now. Know that we all are in with you together. Iyh we will celebrate your future wins together. For now, we will cry with you, and hold your hand so you can get back up and start again!

Also, please go out and buy yourself a treat. Something good. Sit down and tell yourself how proud you are. Tell yourself 61 days is an awesome accomplishment. For real! Enjoy and savor that treat. Savor 61 days clean. And make a toast to iyh another 1 million days clean!!!

My dear friend thanks for your kind words! Really appreciate them and accept them Since it's.Coming from your heart directly to mine

Thank you so much for accepting me and for your Lovely words.They really come in handy. Hashes is proud of all your replies... Giving strength another one that's struggling.Without any payback is really amazing.

I feel your heart and pray for you as well!

eiyantov wrote on 08 Oct 2024 00:08:

Just to clarify, you are not starting from the beginning. It's not about the streak, it's about cleaning ourselves up, and there's no doubt about it 61 days is a huge step in that direction! You're climbing an impressive mountain and taken a tumble, but you're still high up on the trail. Don't let the YH fool you in to thinking that you're back to square one. Pick yourself up, keep climbing, and like eiyantov said remember to celebrate!

Absolutely correct, I am actually counting as follows 2-61 3-62 4-63 because i am not starting from zero

Just discovered this powerful thread!
EOM, keep trucking!

Youll get there, buddy!

We believe in you!

With brotherly love,
Muttel

Of course we'll hold your hand. 

I think you have to tell yourself that 61 days of winning the battle provides you which a huge amount of ammunition but also pride in yourself that you are able to put together long streak. 
It's now the yetzer haras job to get you to forget that, and you don't want to let him win. 
You are a warrior.