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A new challenge
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: A new challenge 504 Views

A new challenge 01 Oct 2024 10:33 #422706

  • ShtettlMan
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Hi everyone, I decided to start a new chat bc I feel like a new person since I joined GYE. I totally mean what I say, just as an example I dont feel anymore like an animal with this bestial part of me getting out every time that I would be alone at home... 
Baroukh H Im at 43 clean days, and if you add it to the last attempt I did Im at 93 days !! Honestly it's awesome and it never worked that well!!
I dont remember who talked to me about the taphsyc method with the shvuah but it clearly helped. It took me like 3 months to adjust the terms and the knassim but at the end I think it's quite balanced
I'll let you guys know BezH !!!
Thank you again

Re: A new challenge 19 Nov 2024 11:15 #425354

  • ShtettlMan
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Hi everyone ! 
It's been a while that I did not post but I kept going BH. I just reached 90 days and I feel really good and thankful to 'ה, and to everyone that helped me here
I dont know what's supposed to be the following step, if people who went through it can help me
Thanks !

Re: A new challenge 19 Nov 2024 12:09 #425359

Mazel Tov on reaching 90! May you be zoche to many many more!

Re: A new challenge 19 Nov 2024 14:11 #425367

  • ShtettlMan
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אמן !!!! וכן למר

Last Edit: 19 Nov 2024 14:11 by ShtettlMan.

Re: A new challenge 19 Nov 2024 20:56 #425399

  • chosemyshem
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ShtettlMan wrote on 19 Nov 2024 11:15:
Hi everyone ! 
It's been a while that I did not post but I kept going BH. I just reached 90 days and I feel really good and thankful to 'ה, and to everyone that helped me here
I dont know what's supposed to be the following step, if people who went through it can help me
Thanks !

Cooooooooooooooooooooongratulations!

That's huge. The following step is recognizing you accomplished something amazing. Probably you should reward yourself.

The downside to focusing on the streak, is when you win the streak some minority of people get left with a deep down feeling like they're done and then they lose all their motivation (in a very subtle way) and fall.

A good idea is to set a new goal (how bout going for 180?). A better idea is that while you work on the next ninety, you also disengage a little from actively counting daily, and try to work on feeling like a different person. That is to say, don't change what's been working. But try to focus less on a goal of days, and more on a goal of internal change.

You accomplishment is deeply inspiring. Keep on trucking!

Re: A new challenge 20 Nov 2024 09:22 #425448

  • ShtettlMan
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Wow that's really smart
Im gonna try that 
thank you!

Re: A new challenge 21 Nov 2024 19:26 #425598

  • ShtettlMan
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I've been reading articles and articles and articles for the last 2 days. Honestly I dont know why, as my sequence is still going, but I feel a bit down of what I've read. Wanted to know How bad things could end up, and all the divorces that occured because of p&m dependance just scare me. Is it really possible to get out of these problems? How can I avoid just falling in 2 weeks and start a new account?
Please help me guys I really don't see how I should handle it. (ps: I can't call HHM as I'm not in America and he has no access to Whatsapp)

Re: A new challenge 21 Nov 2024 20:00 #425599

  • vehkam
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You can engage in conversations here. There are other chevra that have WhatsApp and can help.
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: A new challenge 21 Nov 2024 20:59 #425602

  • jewizard21
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    Take it One Day At A Time. Don't worry about 2 weeks bc you can't actively change what may happen then or even tomorrow. Focus on today because that's the only time you have control of. You can't react to things that may happen, you can only prepare yourself by focusing on the now.
    Each day you gain more experience in fighting the battle. If we fall, then we learn from our mistakes, but know that we are not failures because we fell, we are humans that are trying to better ourselves in an area that is difficult to improve on. 

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!
"The best filter is the one you don't test"-Dov
Dov talks audio library:
guardyoureyes.com/tools/kosher-isle/shiurim/category/dov-s-recovery-talks

My Introduction:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412126-Me

Re: A new challenge 21 Nov 2024 21:17 #425603

  • wantingbetter
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jewizard21 wrote on 21 Nov 2024 20:59:
    Take it One Day At A Time. Don't worry about 2 weeks bc you can't actively change what may happen then or even tomorrow. Focus on today because that's the only time you have control of. You can't react to things that may happen, you can only prepare yourself by focusing on the now.
    Each day you gain more experience in fighting the battle. If we fall, then we learn from our mistakes, but know that we are not failures because we fell, we are humans that are trying to better ourselves in an area that is difficult to improve on. 

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

The wizard has spoken the TRUTH! 

Re: A new challenge 23 Nov 2024 20:32 #425664

  • ShtettlMan
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The last 96 days (BH) helped me to figure out that my will to watch P is only happening when I have an urge and I want to M
I dont know what to do with it, just knowing me better can help...

Re: A new challenge 26 Nov 2024 08:45 #425809

  • ShtettlMan
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BH I'm at 99 days now
I feel good, just a bit scared  to fall again. It's the longest  sequence I've been through. 
Thank you everyone for helping me going through this !!!

Re: A new challenge 26 Nov 2024 13:34 #425821

  • BenHashemBH
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ShtettlMan wrote on 26 Nov 2024 08:45:
BH I'm at 99 days now
I feel good, just a bit scared  to fall again. It's the longest  sequence I've been through. 
Thank you everyone for helping me going through this !!!

Shalom Brother,

Mazal Tov on 99 days!

Can you expand on "I feel good"? What are those feelings and how can you stay connected with them? 

Positive thoughts will sustain you better than over-focusing on the fear of failure CV. 

Kol Tov
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: A new challenge 26 Nov 2024 15:16 #425829

  • Muttel
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Shtettl Man, I'm so happy for you!!!!

KOMT!!!!!!!!!!
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: A new challenge 26 Nov 2024 23:12 #425870

  • ShtettlMan
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I wanna tell more about my story here, maybe it will help me
When I was a child (maybe 6-7), I was sleeping with my father bc my mother wasn't home. I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw images on TV I had never seen yet: P. It was really hardcore with awful images (it makes me feel weird just remembering it), there was even some gay scenes in it (sorry I dont know how to call it, maybe the way of סודום would be a better expression). I never told anyone about that.

I watched P for the first time when I was 10, and I started M quite at the same age because of a טמא who talked about it on Youtube. It kept going til 14, then I was watching P for a year without M.
At the age of 11 I remember talking really dirty about girls. One year later I sent s** pictures to a friend of mine (who was sending too). This scared me and didn't talk to him during 4 years because of that, I was feeling like he had forced me even if it was not the case.
I'm not suffering of SSA as I'm only attracted to women, I never watched gay P, and go to mikveh every week without any trigger.
When I was 16 (so after 2 years clean of M) I had a one-time fall, then I went to a camp and was the only guy who was not addict to M. They told me I was a big tzadik, and I felt so confident:  everyone was doing it. I started M everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. It was the worst time of my life about עניני קדושה. 
When I went to EY to Yeshiva, I had sequences without it but never did a full zman (the longest might be 2 months), and I fell every bein hazmanim.
I'm now a bit over 20, and discovered GYE about 6 months ago. It changed my life, made me understand that these issues wouldn't just leave after the Chuppah, and taught me how to make a gameplan and prevent setbacks.

If I look at my issues, it's only been P&M and never tried to go further but when I read all the stories here I realize how far it can continue.
Sorry if I wasn't clear and thank you for reading !
I feel quite better now, even though I don't really know why 
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