Ok here goes. 

I'm starting a new 90 day journey. 
I don't know why 90 days. Maybe because I saw that other people started a 90 day trial and it worked so let's give it a shot. 
I'll give my story over the next posts as I'm new here and not all together comfortable sharing my life story. 

I'm already up to day 8 so I have a little wind in my sails. 
IYH we'll add in the days, one by one. 

The 8 days that I managed so far were not really me trying to break free but more because of me being grumpy and miserable about other issues in my life (complete lack of general intimacy (not sex or physical stuff) just a general lack of marital happiness and fulfillment) unfulfilled dreams and expectations (all healthy and realistic) of myself etc. 

odyossefchai wrote on 09 Sep 2024 21:58:

Just sayin many of us here can out grump you any day of the week, we even have a thread special for grumpy grumps.
That being said, even the grumpiest of grumps can be helped. This is the right place and we got the right people. 
Stick around- it'll change your life.
I know it changed mine.
Hatzlocha!!

My issue is marriage related and also Shmira Enayim, so there's plenty to grump about both! 
At the moment, there's way more to grump about the marriage issue than the SE issue. 
ARe marriage issues good to talk about here or really we stick only to SE topics? 

Welcome to the forums! You will be shocked how much שמירת העינים influences marriage issues. Often marriage issues crop up as a direct result of one's lack of שמירת העינים. It's hard to understand, but once you're clean for awhile, most people report a direct improvement in their marriage. Obviously this isn't true for all issues, some won't be cured by any amount of improvement, yet you'd be shocked at the seemingly unrelated issues that resolve themselves, once we clean up our side of the street. Read through some of the stories, a good place to start is chulentking's epic journey. You can find it the Choosmyshem's Hall of fame threads. If you are courageous and ready, do yourself a favor, and reach out to Hashem Help Me, either at michelgelner@gmail.com, or through the PM option. Hatzlacha on your journey!

9 days! Somewhat of an accomplishment.



Feels like the 9 days because of everything else in my life. 

As I said, I didn't start this because I want to get clean, but because of some other issues in my life that are making me miserable. 

Not saying it can't be a catalyst to something but at this moment, I'll take what I can get. 

I'm sure that being clean will help me, but I don't think it will help my marriage. 



Feel free to send inspirational quotes! 



Till then, 'the grump' continues! 

odyossefchai wrote on 10 Sep 2024 13:28:

Wow. A 15-year-long gap is a huge burden to be working on. Kudos to you for keeping hope after all that.

If you are comfortable, perhaps you would consider reaching out to HHM (michelgelner@gmail.com). He has a lot of experience and has helped a great many people. He might have some insights for your personal challenge.

Kol Tov

Edit: Moving this to your thread so we don't interrupt JB's thread too much.

Tomorrow is day 10. I'm pretty confident I'll make it. BH had a great day and it's been a while since I went 10 days (or even a week) clean! 
Yay for me! 

So......BH made it to day 10! 
It has been not too hard so far. 

We will keep moving forward. I expect significant challenges in the days ahead. Not because of anything specific. But just because the longer it goes on, the more chance of falling. 
Or maybe the longer my streak goes, the less I will want to break it. 
Mixed feelings. 

Yay! 11 days completed. 
Don't want to get overconfident but so far it has been good. Only small urges here and there but life has been good and busy. 

I know the yetzer harah is lurking and one small wrong step, I know where I could end up. 

But for now, 11 days BH. 

Let's make it 12 tomorrow 

BH made it to day 12. 



So far, the Yetzer Hara seems to be laying low and not driving me crazy. 

Other things in my life have been better so maybe for now, I'm not getting challenged so much but there's always the potential for a big nisayon to come and smack me in the face and 'get me back to reality' 

BH for 12 days. 

Shalom Od Yossef Chai,

Great to see your commitment to post daily accountability and appreciation for each day.

Continued hatzhacha!

14 days. 
BH going strong! 
It's been easy so far. 
I know it's the calm before the storm. Hopefully there's enough in the tank to build up a number that I won't want to lose. 

odyossefchai wrote on 15 Sep 2024 13:49:

The prep that you are doing now, WILL help you weather the storm 
One Day At  A Time
One Urge At A Time
You got this in the bag, brotha

Hey, welcome! 
I’m just catching up on your thread. 

To me, GYE means hope. 
Struggling for 15 years is tough, loneliness is wrenching. We each must walk a difficult road, often uphill. But the journey is easier with friends. 

Here’s a warm hand. You’re not alone. And there are so many other guys here who know what it means to have to deal with the gritty reality of a life in which there are struggles in marriage, both in and out of the bedroom, and the bad habits of running to the wrong places for escape, distraction, and to find some kind of solace. (That doesn’t satisfy…)

You can make it. You can grow and change. You can find new beginnings. With change in the area of Shemiras Haenayim comes growth, you can find new patterns in your marriage, and new ways to deal with your pain and anguish. Being different can help things change in your marriage, too. .

Doorways can open up where you thought was only dusty brick wall… I hope that this will happen for you! 

Read some threads , keep posting, we want to get to know you better! 

Take my hand, brother. 

Chaim Oigen