Day 9 in the books bh 
I only got home at around 2015 and then jumped rope(Wich I realized takes so much energy) and bh it was a easy W
What I guess I learn from this is that I can't blame it on the girls I work with and that they cause urges cause at the end of the day it's MY choice if to search or not 

rocky21 wrote on 12 Sep 2024 08:00:

Love this! Fantastic post.

This is a huge and profound idea. It's so easy to start blaming the people around us, our environment, our spouse, the way we were raised/our parents, "the internet", or any of a million other possibilities. Growth starts by recognizing that it's my problem and my choices and I'm the one that's gotta make the necessary changes.

If it wasn't the girls you work with it'd be the girls on social media or the fact that someone insulted you today or something else that "triggers" you. But at the end of the day it's your choice to search or not. 

Keep on crushing it!

Day 10 complete BH 
Again a action packed day so no time to let the brain to wonder.

Thank you so much for the support I really appreciate it so much it made my day

Shavua tov everyone day 11 is in the books bh 
Just wanted to share my thoughts:
This shabbbos I felt like I got my brain back I wasn't thinking about how and what to watch and when nor was I thinking about how to not watch, it just want even relative.
I was thinking and contemplating and maybe even a "little" worining, now that used to bother me cause I try to stay cumb but I was so happy about all this overthinking and learning from mistakes that's bh have nothing to do with p&m it made me so so happy to just think and worry and better myself about things that I have nothing to do with p&m cause normally I hate overthinking and taking deep looks in to myself but now I was so happy that my brain was going 10000 miles per hour cause I felf like I got my old brain back the brain that not all the thoughts are around p&m I felt free bh

Wow great work keep it up.
Thanks for sharing, gives me strength to overcome my challenges.

Day 12 complete BH 
As I wrote yesterday was a great day and a great win 

13th day clean and going strong bh
I'm really feeling good mentality I know that in the next month I'm going to have a lot to do meaning probably a lot of stress but I'm telling myself to remember when those times come to do some mindfulness and even when it can get anoying (like literally 10 minutes ago I got fined by army police for having dirty shoes) I need to remember to stay come and this to will pass

2 weeks in the book bh!
I Do feel however the urges coming back possibly and most likely because I started adding more things to my daily tasks so I can get stressed to complete them and also because I have a lot of free time in the upcoming 2 weeks so instead of doing all those things I'm scared I will just get overwhelmed and excited by all the free time and chas veshalom give in.
I want to give my self a incentive that if I WHEN I get to 30 days I will buy my self new shoes I just have to figure out how to afford them

I feel the storm coming 
A Strong urge is building up from a story a girl said and it got my mind running on top speed I'm trying to take big breaths but I just feel like such a perv like she can't tell a story that to be honest is 100% ok story just mentioned loosing something in the bathroom and my mined right away just went on a field trip and I feel so bad that I can't here a story without objectifying such a nice person 

rocky21 wrote on 17 Sep 2024 10:44:

If possible redirect that urge to your desire to connect to hashem 

vehkam wrote on 17 Sep 2024 12:25:

Just to amplify Vehkam's wise advice.

There is a prayer that I think come from SA that is a powerful tool you can use in order to redirect that urge to use as tool to come close to Hashem. 

Take a second, breath, recognize the desire running through you, and then ask Hashem to help you find in Him what you are looking for in lust (or in this girl specifically).

rocky21 wrote on 17 Sep 2024 10:44:

Just relax...
You're a good man. It's all normal. Nothing's wrong with you.
Keep breathing deeply...
Now take a needle and pop that big huge balloon.. the balloon that the YH is busy blowing in your mind... making the temptation bigger than it is.. making you fantasise and telling you that this is just what you need now... to act out while thinking of this cute girl...
So just pop that balloon!! It's דמיון. The YH is selling you garbage! 

These are moments of real spiritual growth...
You're amazing for the way you're in touch with your emotions!
Keep strong!

I'm happy to say we made 15 days clean 
I say we because I really would not have gotten passed yesterday if it wasn't for you amazing guys who took the time to write me such nice thing's and give me the words of encouragement I needed and the perfect advice. Appreciate it so much and we are officially half way to 30 days

Ok so literally as I got home walking to my room out of absolutely nowhere I just open incognito on my phone and search something but then just shut off my phone and said like HELL NOOO 
I think it came from me abosulty being in my own thoughts for a hour straight on the way home and thinking about my relationship with one fo the girls but then again no freaking excuse 
I know I'm not going to watch today,in starting a workout now and going to win I will update tomorrow with a win bh!!!
PS
I was thinking that it's terafing to think that it can all change in half a second so like bh when I get clean for a long time and get married bh how do ik that chas veshalom cash vehcalila what happened today will happen then