By not escaping with my usual drugs of Internet surfing, Tv, Movies, Comp. games, pn and m I'm noticing my debilitating fears and resentment toward many of my business associates ( also my wife) that doesn't respond the way I want them to. Besides that I'm pretty easygoing. I really believe that (you see the problem).

Now that I letting myself notice these weknesses....Wow I'm actually a Human Being, Who knew. I thought....There! right there is the problem, IIIIIII Thought. But i digress ...Now that I'm noticing a very helpless and unmanageble side to myself I need to do the next Step (step #3)  turn my life over to G-d the Power who is waiting lovingly for me to make this descicion again and again) so he can take me to where he wants to be. A place of great peacem, serenity, usefullness and Moshiach. "The land that He will show me"

thy will not mine be done...

Directions to the Road to Recovery: Got to Hell, and then make a U-Turn!

humanbeing wrote on 21 Dec 2010 00:25:


Well, I am asking again now.  :D

I'm having a good day today Adank Gut...Learning to take it day by day

Reb Humanbeing,

We like to hear your updates. Why to we have to beg for them?  :-\



(BTW, We are happy that you are fine - with Hashem's help.)  ;D

Yosef Hatzadik - I'm so touched and grateful for your request/beg.

Like most addicts I'm very good at pontificating and spouting deep spiritual philosophical words of wisdom. However, i'll just try to stick with what I'm truly working on in regards to my 12- Step Program today, because in truth for me Elazar, the sex addict everything else is reallly Bull.

I've been working on my 4th Step for the 2nd (for real this) time. With Hashem's tremendous Rachmanus and completely unearned kindness I was able to pinpoint a resentment this morning which involved 3 people and one institution. I went trhough the steps of finding where I was at fault and sincerely, almost desperatley (because resentment will kill me if I hold on to it) Davvened for the people I was angry with. I have listed over 120 people and institutions I have resentment and now I'm working on column two listing with a few words what they have done wrong to me.

Yosef if you're interested in hearing more about my 12-Step Program work just ask no need to beg.

Hashem please help me to remove fear and self seeking from my life. Your will not mine be done!

amen!

humanbeing wrote on 20 Jan 2011 22:38:


Asking

humanbeing wrote on 01 Feb 2011 19:40:


I think that when you are finished with the wonderful 12 Step program HumanBeing's will & Hashem's will will morph into one.  :D

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 01 Feb 2011 19:46:


Amein v'amain...My greatest focus every day is for my will (my E.G.O. (edging G-d out), desire for control, resentments, being oh so judgmental, being afraid, guilt, arrogance and condescension and of course the best self serving oh so comfortable self-PITY) to be in line with hashem's will. It takes a lot of davvening and Hashem's unearned rachmanus.

[size=8pt]...when you are finished with the wonderful 12 Step program...

You mean when Moshiach comes! :D ;D :D

Till then, every day (a few times a day), I have to knock it into my head how I'm powerless over the deep human defects of my character and beg hashem to help me remove them from my thoughts and heart. If resentmnets and fears fill my life and brain there is no room inside me for Hashem's will to shine through.

A Gutten and gebenchte Shabbos.

Hasshlech al Hashem yehavecho V'hu Yechalkelecha

Hope you had a great shabbos, and that you have a fantastic week!

Amein!
One day at a time.