HB has really gotten to the POINT of it all... :D :D
Getting to know oneself is very important, and when we get to know our motivations, it's VERY GOOD because we begin to see up the road before we get to the stumbling blocks. And if WE STOP AND THINK, we can prep ourselves and overcome.
Like a stutterer, who knows what words and concepts trip him up, ends up seeing his conversation from a few sentences in advance, and anticipates the problems before he gets there. So one choice he has is to not do anything, expecting to fall into his old pattern, and that builds the tension and anxiety that makes that particular stutter unavoidable. But his OTHER CHOICE is to USE that foreknowledge to fortify himself BEFORE he gets to his regular impasse. He remembers that he learned relaxation and breathing techniques, even to the point of using "singing" thru that phrase he fears, and he pumps himself up to use what he knows works. When his conversation reaches that point, he stops or slows down, and handles it like a charm on the exhale. At first it's very mechanical, but after a lot of practice and role playing, it becomes second nature.
This moshul is really very good for us. Did you guys know that James Earl Jones was a terrible stutterer? That amazing actor with the deep, resonant and poetic voice that has captivated millions of people world-wide. He overcame his handicap through perseverance and technique.
JUST LIKE WE CAN,
AND WILL!! And while we get to know ourselves, another important point comes to mind: V'Ahavta L'Rei'echa Komocha works both ways, too. Just like we are commanded to love our fellow by being Dan L'Kaf Zechus like we want other people to think for US, well, WE ARE ALSO COMMANDED TO LOVE OURSELVES LIKE WE LOVE OUR FELLOW. Which means that we ALSO have to be Dan l'Kaf Zechus OURSELVES!! Even when we c"v fall, BE CREATIVE and find the ZECHUS in ourselves, and FOCUS on that POSITIVE aspect instead of beating ourselves up!!
"OK, I may have fallen, but look at ALL THOSE GOOD DAYS IN BETWEEN!!"
"It took MORE of a buildup till I lost it this time - WOW - I'M SLOWLY BUILDING A RESISTANCE that i didn't have before!"
"Hey, I DIDN'T ENJOY that fall like I used to - I can see it DOESN'T MEAN THAT MUCH to me anymore"
"I may have fallen, but it didn't damage ME - I'm still a good, caring person who HAS A LOT TO GIVE TO PEOPLE, even with my faults"
"HEY!! - I'm STILL ALIVE!! That means HKB"H feels there's still HOPE for me!!"
When we do that, then DESPITE our faults, we begin to LIKE OURSELVES BETTER. And believe me, there is a lot worthy of your self-respect.
Keep strong, my friend!!