Day 1
  I'm starting to post on my next attempt to get to 90 days. I've done this before, but just for a few days and then stopped. But I have had success many times in stopping and probably have gone past 90 days without counting and deffinetely have gotten close to 90 days with counting. I hope that this time. I will be able to stick to the program for 90 days and more. 
  I feel that I'm struggling with being single after dating for 5 years or more and I often have a lot of urges now I have more access to unfiltered internet so it makes it more difficult. I feel that I struggle with finding enjoyement and through other ways as opposed through porn (I know learning Torah and excercise is the classic advice, but I need more than that.) If anyone has any suggestions of how to bring more excitement to my life please let me know. 
  Another thing that I'm annoyed by is the whole frum social things like wedding vorts etc. I feel like I cant connect to it, and I feel inferior due to my nonreligious background and problematic family issues. I think it also pushes me to porn. If anyone has suggestions on how to cope with these feelings please let me know.

animaamin wrote on 14 Apr 2024 19:11:

Being single and dating for so long is very painful and tough. We're here for you - you're not alone. 

"If anyone has any suggestions of how to bring more excitement to my life please let me know"

“Pitachta saki vate’azreini simchah—You have opened my sack and girded me with joy” (Tehillim 30:12). I have heard it explained that “opened my sack” refers to giving and providing. With an attitude of outward focus, one finds true joy.

» “Hashivah li sasson yishecha v’ruach nedivah sismecheini— Return to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a spirit of giving” (ibid. 51:14). Again we see how the spirit of “giving,” of being of service to others and to G-d, is directly connected with happiness.

» “Yismach lev mevakshei Hashem—The hearts of those who seek G-d will rejoice” (ibid. 105:3). What does “seeking G-d” really mean? Those who seek G-d want to be like G-d; they want to be givers and not takers. This, implies David HaMelech, is the secret to true happiness.

Im in it with you guys lets do it!

hi animaamin

as a read you asking for advice on how to feel enjoyment, my mind immediately went to giving and doing for others. contributing to society and helping people is probably of the greatest satisfactions there are. Davidt brought some nice mekoires for this.

good luck w the 90 days!

Do you have a way of filtering the computers and phones you use and staying away from other unfiltered devices. Filtering isn't the full solution to porn but it makes it easier to overcome the challenges.

yitzchokm wrote on 14 Apr 2024 22:16:

I have certain computers that I have access to that I can't filter unfortunately.

Day 3 

  I feel that I have more urges coming on today. Hopefully they will weaken as the day goes on. I feel bored with life and need that excitement atc that porn gives me (although its an illusion, but for some reason i keep falling for it) I saw a few people posted suggesting that I help people, but I'm very busy these days with work so I don't have time to volunteer, and things like that. If anyone has any other suggestions about how I can have more excitement in my life please let me know. 

Do you have anything exciting that you enjoy doing aside for P? Maybe exercise, socializing, a hobby, music, learning a language, learning a new skill, doing a project, or listening to a shiur on your way home from work.

I like to excercise and listen to shiurim. But I feel like the usual things that people suggest which you just listed dont really give me enough excitement or enjoyement.

animaamin wrote on 16 Apr 2024 15:46:

One important thing people here suggest is finding greater excitement and enjoyment in overcoming urges. This is the foundational point of the book, The Battle of the Generation, which is highly recommended. Check out THIS post  from @Iwannalivereal how he used that as the focus point to launch himself to crazy heights. You can eventually learn to derive greater joy from resisting than from giving in. But it's tough at first.

If you find yourself generally lacking in enjoyment in life, and you already exercise and learn, then I suggest pushing yourself. Get involved in something that challenges you. Even something inane like learning to play the ukulele or rock climbing can work, though I highly suggest something more valuable. 
To push back on something you wrote, you said you don't have time to volunteer -- but somehow there's time for porn?? Enjoyment comes from pushing yourself and overcoming challenges to accomplish something worthwhile. Maybe start doing daf yomi (inspired by @Vehkam)? And I don't mean start sitting through a shuir for a half hour a day. Throw yourself in and master as much as you can. 
Get out there and conquer something.

Dear animaamin,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and hardship. Theres no question that posting here and connection with the people will help you reach your goals.

Keep the posts coming and keep forming relationships with people here.

Keep rocking!
Never look back because your not going that way.

If you are looking to replace P with something as stimulating as P you probably won't find anything that can compete with it. It is a sick imaginary world that doesn't exist in real life. You will have to cut yourself off of P for a while and find other things to do and eventually P won't feel like something worthwhile or exciting but rather like something sick that doesn't interest you. There are many things in life that can give you pleasure, excitement and joy on a lesser level than P but that have everlasting effects and keep you happy and content for a longer period of time. P on the other hand is a short lasting pleasure and immediately afterwards we feel miserable. As chooseurname wrote, The Battle of the Generation is an excellent substitute for P. It will rechannel your adrenaline in a very positive way.

Day 4. 
 I feel like I'm breaking. I'm so stressed out with everything and unfiltered computer is so accessible to me. I hope that I will make it through the day without falling. I dont even have time to watch porn, but I'm still desiring it so much. If anyone can try to inspire me please do. 

Reaching out to someone on GYE or socializing can reduce stress. Try reaching out to the main mentor Hashem Help Me, Chaimoigen or Eerie. Exercise also helps a lot. A third option is an Urge Surfing or SOBER mindfulness exercise which you can get in the SOS section or that you can redeem with coins and download.

I had a fall today. I think I felt a lot of tension built up and thought it would help. I dont know how I fall for these illusions that it will releive tension over and over again. But I will start to be clean again now, and I hope I will stay clean forever.