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TOPIC: Nothing to lose 15301 Views

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 36.1 18 Mar 2024 18:28 #410331

  • notezy
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Finished chapter 19 of the TBOTG today.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 37 19 Mar 2024 06:53 #410357

  • notezy
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Start of day 2: tonight I got a friend's wedding which can be a risk but I know this going in so I am prepared mentally for the fight.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 10:40 #410359

  • proudyungerman
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What about practically? Is there anything you can do to minimize the risk/challenge?
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 13:19 #410365

  • notezy
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Well ya practically comes when I am there which is to stay on the right side of the mechitzah and not look the other way.
is their anything I am missing here?
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 14:12 #410369

Well ya practically comes when I am there which is to stay on the right side of the mechitzah and not look the other way.

is their anything I am missing here?Pack a sefer (or a game, whatever works) for dead time when you might be more tempted. For example, the "wait for the chassan and kallah to mosy down to the chuppa" dead time when you're just sitting there and there's no mechitza. Great time to say some tehillim instead of spacing out and watching the women. 

Pick where you sit carefully. Don't hang out and schmooze in places which are easier to slip into lusting. It's basic biology that a woman dancing will catch your eye - set it up so you won't be in place to see that.  
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Nothing to lose 19 Mar 2024 14:42 #410373

  • cande
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chooseurname wrote on 19 Mar 2024 14:12:
Pack a sefer (or a game, whatever works) for dead time when you might be more tempted. For example, the "wait for the chassan and kallah to mosy down to the chuppa" dead time when you're just sitting there and there's no mechitza. Great time to say some tehillim instead of spacing out and watching the women. 

Pick where you sit carefully. Don't hang out and schmooze in places which are easier to slip into lusting. It's basic biology that a woman dancing will catch your eye - set it up so you won't be in place to see that.  

in short, stay home!
Last Edit: 19 Mar 2024 14:42 by cande.

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 37.1 19 Mar 2024 20:29 #410410

  • notezy
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On the way back from the wedding now. Stayed clean kept busy didn't even think about the Nashim. Was to busy arguing with someone about ziomism, freewill and religion and saying hi to friends and when I had free-time I read chapter 19 of TBOTG. 
Overall good outcome. Goodnight.
Day 2 almsot over.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 38 20 Mar 2024 07:21 #410437

  • notezy
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Start day 3.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 38.1 20 Mar 2024 18:01 #410481

  • notezy
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Tonight got a little harder then usual so I am just riding out the clock. 
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 39 21 Mar 2024 08:21 #410508

  • notezy
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Cruising into day 4.
I hope everyone has any easy fast.
I wanted to note i missed reading TBOTG last night it was a big chapter.
Just last time I fell i skipped it a few days so i dont want to make the same mistake of getting out of the mindset.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 39 22 Mar 2024 08:38 #410596

  • notezy
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I ended day 4 with a fall however it was only in shmiras anyim and I stopped myself before anything else and it was a real  struggle going to sleep with the thought but I managed and now I am here day 1 starting over.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 40 24 Mar 2024 20:54 #410647

  • notezy
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Ending day 3 
so much prituzus in my area on purim but I didn't look as much as I could. Kept busy had a great purim getting to bed now. Goodnight.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 41 25 Mar 2024 17:18 #410668

  • notezy
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Day 4 its been hard the beginning of today I think because I was surrounded with people complaining about the pritzus around them yesterday and it made me feel a bit to comfortable in the struggle.
I eneded up working all day so I didn't have to worry so much about it till now.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 41 25 Mar 2024 18:24 #410669

Yeah, sometimes people protest too much and it's really just an opportunity to chazer over. 
Focus on yesterday's win and try to move on.
Keep on trucking!
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Nothing to lose - Update 42 26 Mar 2024 06:41 #410691

  • notezy
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Found a hole in the wall and Fell 2 times I am going to block it now 
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend.

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
But I guess you can learn from the insights other have attained through change.

The can't, won't sustainably defeat the want.
-Gye vaad (quoting TBOTG)

Paltiel succeeded because his excitement was stronger than his desire. Which helped him attain mastery over himself. -TBOTG
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