Maybe dont make it about what you want and rather about whats best for you.  Sacrifcing the present for the future.
Take small steps.

Hey there again. Today is day 92 not watching porn!
For masterbating it is day 8. Thank G-d I do see alot of improvement. The number one ai for me getting throu this is consistantly being in touch with other GYE chevre.

This past weekend has been quite rough. I watched porn and now I am at day 2. Although it is extremely upsetting, I can see that thank G-d I have made tremendous progress the last year, months and weeks. 

I absolutely love your positivity!!
To have a set back and still see all the progress that was made. Not to feel like you are back to step 1 again is truly uplifting! 
I should learn from you!!

Back to posting. This was my first clean pesach in 7 years! With the help of hashem this will continue. 

Day 10.

Day 11. Now that I am home, I find it to be much easier. The yeshiva I was in this year was not a good environment for me.
Last night was quite difficult after a tough conversation I had, but I decided to put it off for a few minutes and se what happens. Then I fell asleep in the meantime. 

Day טוב! Baruch Hashem I am now in a much better place. The struggles don't get much smaller, but beating them gets easier with lots of practice. 

Day 18.

Day 19. 

Keep it up

I just masturbated. It was a a difficult day in this area, probably because today I tried to quit vaping which I started over a month ago. Ended up buying a vape in the hood nearby anyway. Anyway, I think that is what made me more vulnerable and is why earlier today went on a site for design ideas, which in the past I have used to arouse myself and though I did not look at anything assur, it was a bot triggering. Then just before I was checking my Email on an account I do not often use, and found emails from the aforementioned site with provocative pictures.Then after poking around those emails for some time, I masturbated (only once, as opposedto 3 or 4 times). First thing I did was unsubscribe to and delete all those emails, second thin is posting on the forum.
Baruch HasHashem I already feel much better and I will "וויש אפ און גיי ווייטער" .