I wonder what Yosef HaTzaddik thought about his avodah after ending up in Potifar's house?


(My work usually doesn't feel super positive and avodas Hashem-ish. Heck, even my learning and davening don't always feel as such - unfortunately. I think that's part of my avodah though, to keep doing it even though I oft feel disconnected and far. I need to feel positive for simply showing up. For me, not watching porn is positive. Wish I had something to share re the piece you feel is missing.

Hatzlacha and kol tov Brother

My friend I think you're barking up the wrong tree. I think for a lot of us we first have to be a "working man" before we can be a "yiddishe working man".

If you want to do what the mussar seforim say then say "hineni muchan umezuman" at the beginning and then go about your day. Using it for motivation is a madreiga imo.

You mention boring tasks without motivation...but porn and masturbation have taught us to have low frustration tolerance and seek an escape. So the porn itself imo makes the boringness of the tasks a bigger issue. I think the solution lies in a "gito veyado ba'im k'echad" type approach.

You have to teach yourself to slowly get used to working through those boring tasks while slowly weaning off the escape neurosis. Not easy especially when the object of your desire is by design at your fingertips.

I know you've been at this awhile but I think starting from a secular point of view may be more constructive.

Of course Vehkam's point about bitachon helps remove the stress...

And I'll throw down the gauntlet.

Share with Am V'Eda here one small thing you'll do to improve productivity and one small thing to be Misracheik Min HaKi'Ur (sorry I'm on a transliteration kick apparently)

Oh Boy! Can I relate.
Sitting at work, and just wondering, "What on earth am I doing here??
Forget sitting at work, I sometimes can't get out of the car to get into the office, I am held back by this thought.

One way to think of what the עבודה of work is to think that I am here to support my family. That is an extremely important עבודה. However, that is harder said then done, as לאו דוקא is what I am doing accomplishing that, and I feel frustrated. 

I don't know if this is the correct answer, but let's take a moment to think about the fact that my עבודה is to do whatever הקב"ה wants me to do at this moment. And apparently he wants me to go into the office and punch keys on the computer.
How do I know? If he didn't want me to be here, I wouldn't be here. So I go do that. Is it stilting at times? Yes. Do I get bored? Yes. DO I feel frustrated and want to escape (with whatever - fill in the blank)? Yes.

But this may be a possible way to look at it.
Wishing us both הצלחה in this challenge.

What about thinking of the Gemara in Kesuvos (50a) אשרי שומרי משפט עושה צדקה בכל עת. וכי אפשר לעשות צדקה בכל עת וכו' זה הזן בניו ובנותיו כשהם קטנים? Wondering if thinking of the value in what you're doing may be helpful....

Some very thought provoking responses.Very much thought provoking. Hmmm. 
Hopefully I'll actually sit and think the thoughts being provoked, instead of distracting myself. 

Wanna share a big win. 

My wife got super pissed shabbos afternoon. IMHO over nothing, but I did my best to be supportive; which backfired terribly and she said some harsh things. Without getting stuck in the mire of "who is right," I was sitting there motzei shabbos feeling like I was unjustly hurt. And I had an urge to turn to my computer to soothe myself. Not with porn god forbid poo poo poo. Or at least, not without easing into it.

But I didn't. B"h hashem reminded me that I'm not trying to stay clean for her, I'm doing it for me. Regardless of what happens.
I was also able to remember that numbing myself is not a solution. Went and took a shower and in response to all the excellent comebacks that popped into my head I was able to turn to Hashem and ask him to take away the ego and fear that was driving me. 

And it worked. I went to bed at a normal time, without turning to entertainment to soothe myself. I was even able to reach out to my wife with a kind word before I went to bed, which is tough because I feel like I'm always the one apologizing for her getting upset (again, it doesn't particularly matter if that feeling is correct.) Funnily enough, she ended up staying up until 3 a.m. soothing herself with youtube or something. But that's not my problem.

And because I de-escalated, she was remarkably civil today. A win all around. 


Had a thought last night I thought was encouraging. See Tanna D'bei Eliyahu Rabba 9:11


Here'smytranslation:



Not sure if this translation is totally correct. But seems inspiring.