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Aiming for 30, struggling
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TOPIC: Aiming for 30, struggling 164 Views

Aiming for 30, struggling 10 Oct 2023 03:09 #402033

Hey, 
So I've recently come back to this site after not being in here for almost 2 years.
During those two years I've been fighting the fight, falling continuously, getting back up again, setting goals and putting up fences, aiming towards at least 30 days, and I have not been having success.
Tha most I have ever done is 43 days , and I'm trying to reach 30, but I cant seem to do it. 
To give background, I struggle with ssa, which makes my triggers much more accessible, as it's everywhere, especially as a bochur. 
It doesn't take much to turn me on, and the inspiration and discipline Ive had, doesn't seem to be there. 
Bh I still have the will and want to overcome , and I'm thankful that I see hope, especially after talking to guys on here and seeing their success story.
So I'm basically asking for advice on what would solidify my resolve and help me move forwards.
as well as practical advice on what to do, to overcome p&a especially when I'm attracted to my friends and that can trigger it (but I don't want to lose any relationships with them)

Thanks in advance 

Re: Aiming for 30, struggling 10 Oct 2023 04:15 #402035

  • Hashem Help Me
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Setting up an accountability partner has been helpful for many. Chizuk, advice, someone to share with when times are challenging....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Aiming for 30, struggling 10 Oct 2023 14:43 #402049

  • chancy
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Hi Alexander,
I’m sorry that’s it’s been so difficult for you.
I have been in the same place for years.
I was a bucher and struggling, he difference was that I usually got what I wanted….. and that’s not a good thing……
I was thrown out of a few yeshivas and lost the beat years of my life drowning in this sh**! I would’ve been the best and most respected bucher, but because of this, none of the good bucherim wanted to my friend, of course I didn’t care at the time, I was too busy chasing some thing or other. I wish GYE was around back then. I would’ve been able to learn what I know now.

please stick around and start learning about some techniques and see what works for you.
Start with the F2F program. It’ll change your life.

DONT WASTE THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON THIS! It’s not worth it. Yes, you are attracted to this guy and that guy. So what? We both know that this Taava takes a few minutes of enjoyment, but much more time is spent being in pain than pleasure! So in no instance is it a worthy trade off. 

you can email me at chancygye@outlook.com for more ideas.

Re: Aiming for 30, struggling 10 Oct 2023 14:47 #402050

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Please add some chizuk (in addition to everything you are doing) by reading The Battle of the Generation. Free ebook or $10 for softcover. See the link below in my signature.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Aiming for 30, struggling 11 Oct 2023 02:05 #402076

  • vehkam
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Captain wrote on 10 Oct 2023 14:47:
Please add some chizuk (in addition to everything you are doing) by reading The Battle of the Generation. Free ebook or $10 for softcover. See the link below in my signature.

Or free softcover by messaging me!
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.
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