I started my 90 day journey and than failed after 27 days and i can not even figure out why
I am starting again maybe the community can help me wish me luck

arir wrote on 16 Jun 2023 14:58:

Kol hakavod for the 27! What has helped me is not having a 90 day journey. That feels like each day, each win, is not so significant. Instead, I count each day as an accomplishment. Each morning, when I have checked in, I feel a sense of relief and pride. 

richtig wrote on 16 Jun 2023 15:12:

Couldn't say it better myself, take each day as it comes!

Hatzlacha!

arir wrote on 16 Jun 2023 14:58:

A relapse (“lapse,” “slip,” “setback”) is one of the most frustrating, humiliating experiences you can face in recovery from any problem habit. It leaves you feeling guilty, ashamed and tempted to throw in the towel and just keep acting out on the addiction. Unfortunately, relapse is very common. According to many studies , 40 to 60 percent of people who work on recovery go on to slip at least once. In fact, many people have multiple setbacks before finally achieving a full recovery.

Instead of viewing your slip as a step backward, think of it as a progression on your road to recovery. Many people lapse or relapse, and if you think of each attempt at sobriety as a means of getting closer to your end goal — a lesson in your cumulative recovery learning, so to speak — this setback won’t be in vain.

Hi, Kudos for you to set out on a 90 day journey! I'm sure it wasnt an easy thing to take open yourself. 
I'm sorry to hear about the fall, however, as mentioned falling is normal When climbing up a latter we are not familiar with.

I’m extremely excited to hear that you are starting a new journey to reach 90 clean days. While everyday is a win for itself – and that should be the focus – focus on the day, focus on each challenge as it comes. Every challenge will come with a twist and you’ll have to be creative.

Waiting to hear from you how it going, Keep us posted.

PS. In the last seven years I have only once succeed in reaching 90 days, I’ve working to stay clean (from masturbation) for many years, about two years ago I had 175 clean days but had a fall, since then I never passed 2 weeks. BH I am right now at 86 clean days.

arir wrote on 16 Jun 2023 14:58:

Good luck.

In my journey, I have found it very helpful to check in regularly on this forum and to be in touch with a GYE friend or two offline. For me, after around day 10-12 or so the challenge is not so much an acute urge to look at pornography or masturbate, but rather letting my guard down and not taking the challenge seriously anymore. In other words, at the beginning, I feel the struggle, but after 10 days, I don't feel the struggle anymore. It seems easy at that point. Like, I've got this...until one feeling, urge, trigger, or sensation happens and then a fall can follow. I relate to you writing "and i can not even figure out why."