Bh I have been clean from watching p for almost 2 whole years now!!!!!!
Baruch Hashem. 
But in the past 6 months I started struggling with m......... and I so badly want to be clean. I really really really want to, but what I really need is motivation and I usually have great motivation but at the minute I just can’t seem to motivate myself properly. Being in yeshiva comes with being bored sometimes at the end of a long day. Just for the record I only m in bed so I try so hard when I am feeling weak to stay away from bed at all costs but it isn’t always easy but that doesn’t mean I can’t over come it. I liked a tip I saw just now on one of the forums that whenever a person holds back and guards himself from this filthy horrible Schmitz then at that moment he should use the time to Daven to Hahsem. That is what I plan to do if chas va Sholom the y”h tries to pull me down. 

Wish me me luck I am now beginning the start of my 90 days and bezh I will be mechazek myself and become better person.

All the best
Hashem gave me koach

Bracha V'Hatzlacha!

Why do you want to stop?

Bit of a strange question to ask as we all know the reason. Because We are Yidden and we know that there are tayvos out there which are forbidden for us to do. Such as p&m. And I feel horrible when I fall and I want to do what’s right in life and stay far away from the schmutz of this world. I want to be clean and bezh when the time is right get married and build a yiddishe home.

Hashem give me koach wrote on 14 May 2023 18:39:

Hashem Gave Me Koach wrote on 14 May 2023 23:02:

Do you understand what I'm attempting?

Yes I get it now. 
Thanks for that

Hashem Gave Me Koach wrote on 14 May 2023 23:02:

Hello and welcome!

I feel your purity and hear you real will you want to be from the words you wrote!!!
you’re such an amazing Tzadik! You’ll definitely get there, because you want to be clean and you we’re already clean for so long. Don’t give up, just come in here and shmooze and learn more and more!

I love you!
good luck!

Thank you I appreciate your words.
Bh I am on day 2 now. I have had a look at some of the suggested strategies available on gye and have listened to a recording which has helped me deal with temptation in a better way.

love you 2!
all the best
Hashem gave me koach

Day 4 and I am feeling on a high and positive. I have been doing a exercise to keep my self occupied.
Thank you all for your support it’s really helping my motivation. 

Unfortunately I fell yesterday. But I WILL NEVER  give up. I gave myself comforting chizuk yesterday. It’s true that at the moment I am not doing consecutive days, but do I actually realise what being clean for day on its own actually means!!!!!????? I gave hashem a clean day and said NO to yetzer hora countless amounts of times!!!! It would be even better to say No to yetzer hora consecutively, but I should never dismiss the days I have stayed clean because they are not consecutive. Never ever say this to yourself! chollila! as this leads me to a state of yiush chas va sholom. 

So inspirational!!! keep going you have a lot of strength.
You are doing it the right way!!! This is how you will reach freedom eventually.
I'm looking forward to see your next victories soon.
All the best
True self.

Hashem Gave Me Koach wrote on 29 May 2023 13:10:

Falls are painful and dispiriting. It brings us lots of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. I truly feel for you.

But...

Of course you shouldn't give up. Falling is part of the climb. It's very uncommon for one to just decide to break a bad habit/addiction, and overnight it's gone.

Anyone who's legitimately in it for the long haul will understand that falls are almost inevitable, at least in the beginning, and as long as we learn what led to the fall, and take steps to prevent it (like not to go to that place, not hear that thing, reach out when feeling like that, filter, strategy implementation etc. etc. etc.), then we are continuously growing and nearing our goal.

If however we just get upset and disgusted, and simply start over again all the while convincing ourselves (yet again, and again) that this time will be different because...um because...then we are just spinning our wheels in the sand.

I encourage you to take stock of the order of events, triggers and emotions that led to this fall, educate yourself about them, and actively do something to prevent this from happening again. 

You definitely have the right attitude - Hashem Will Give Me Koach!

!איש את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק

Thank you very much True self & Grant400for your reply’s.

When in bed I get quite often major insane triggers to M and images of P  I have watched a few years ago is flashing around my head. Any tips how I should respond to this. As a voice in my head is saying you are so tired these triggers are not going to allow you to sleep, so give into the triggers and then you will fall asleep... which isn’t true. I need a proper strategy for this.
any advice???

Hi I am back once again after many months of not logging into to GYE. I wish I could say something like bh I am 5 months clean but no, that's not the case. I feel like I am up to a stage where when I started this battle I was frish and full of energy and I gave it my full energy and coz of that I accomplished many long steaks. but now I am at the stage where I have half drowned and half still afloat I feel like sort of fed up of the whole struggle. if only I could describe how much I want to be done with this for good! I have cried bitter tears and from now i am going to plug and plug until I succeed in breaking free once and for all. actually writing this now has made want to try better and continue!
  

Do you speak with anyone here?