Geshmak! wrote on 02 Feb 2023 02:55:

Sure.
or publicly.
happy to answer any questions 

A gut vuch! 
I wish there would be a special forum for people that are sex addicts. Like I need to hear from others that are going through what I am not just having a bad habit etc but guys that can’t live with out sex lusting away. I guess the reason is cause all of the sex addicts here go to sa and get chizuk there. Whatever.
but I’m just wondering if someone can give me chizuk on what to do when thoughts of just giving up thoughts of just running away from wife kids community and just do what I want… like I have such thoughts way to often and I’m sure other addicts have them too. Any chizuk or ideas to fight these horrible thoughts off my mind will be greatly appreciated!

Update I’m on day 10 for not being mzl. I’m going through tough time now but I’ll survive bhy! 
I gotta remember that I can’t drink in even a drop of lust just like someone addict to alcohol gets drunk from a sip I get drunk from one look yes I’m going crazy now cause I saw nice women walking In front of me for a minute to long I should’ve of crossed the street but I thought like big deal she’s fully dressed what gonna happen if I look and enjoy a little. But now I’m fighting a tough fight. Oish! H’ help me!

It’s really sad how I get turned on ( triggered by anything) like my wife asked me to watch a cute baking video with her. I asked her if it’s kosher. She said sure. Ok. So I watch and all I saw was the woman’s hand ( nothing else not body face, my wife wouldn’t even know it was a lady) and that’s all I was watching and thinking about ( how she really looked and what she was wearing ( like maybe she’s naked) ) and of course answering my wife that I thought it’s soooo cute… but all was really thinking abt was sex. CRAZY ME! SICK ME!
the real word I want to use starts with a F but I try not the say or type that word so…

Geshmak! wrote on 09 Feb 2023 18:20:

reminds me of the joke, 
what word starts with a F and ends with a CK and has a U in the middle?

YOU made me laugh  
Thank you!!

Geshmak! 
I really feel your pain, I used to be exactly like you. What you are doing is called white knuckling. It means you are trying to force every bit of lust out of your mind. Let me help you there. IT.WILL.NOT.WORK!!! 
the more you fight it, the more power you give it, and your brain will keep on coming up with ways to arouse you because it sees that you really want it...... its like queezing a tight baloon filled with flammable material over a burning fire, the more you squeeze it, the more holes it will get and just increase the fire! 
What you can do based on my experiance is to take a time out and take a few minutes to make a few things clear. 
1. You enjoy the feeling of desire and lust- its a fact that you cannot and will not change. 
2. You are normal and not sick, this has been the human condition forever! 
3. You do not want to use that desire in a bad way, obviously or you wouldnt be here on GYE..... so you know what you dont want.
4. You can understand where the feeling of desire comes from and you are ok with the fact that its there, since you cant fight it anyway, just make place for it. so you are not in a fight with the actual desire anymore, that would be like fighting with your left hand because you want 2 right hands..... its there, just accpet that fact. 
5. Now you can decide what to do when you see something that arouses you. You can think, i know i have desire and i understand it and i cant fight it, however, i dont want the desire to carry me away and then i will do something stupid that i will regret, and therefore, i am moving on from the desire and not continuing to pour oil on it. 

This has been tremendously helpful for me, if you follow this for a few days/weeks, you will see a big difference, for example, that thing with the cute video, you couldve acted like this " my mind is telling me to get aroused by that image, i understand why im getting aroused becuase my brain is desperate for some stimulation and i appreciate my brain for working so hard to make me feel good, but I am a erliche yid and a good person and husband who doesnt want to take pleasure in that way and therefore i am moving on to something else, without guilt or blame and disgust. 

I hope you understood what i was trying to say.

Hope this helps. 

Geshmak! wrote on 09 Feb 2023 18:20:

It's true that some people are triggered more easily than others, but it does not mean that they are crazy. There is a reason that chazal teach us (Gemara in Berakhot (24a) R. Yitzchak said: A tefach of a woman is considered *ervah. Anyone who gazes [even] at a woman’s little finger is considered as if he was gazing at her private parts. 
And like you say "I gotta remember that I can’t drink in even a drop of lust" ... 

chancy wrote on 09 Feb 2023 20:26:

I think our friend @chancy should give classes in this. So clear and well put! Thank you! and @geshmak, you have so many caring brothers here, they want to hear from you! listen to their advice, and connect to friends that care. Keep it up my friend! And let us know how you are doing

chancy wrote on 09 Feb 2023 20:26:

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! So so clear! 
I’m gonna try to do what you wrote למעשה בה׳י!!

DavidT wrote on 09 Feb 2023 20:37:

You should know I really appreciate what you wrote. Thx!
btw it’s really comforting to see how makpid the Torah is with kidushah( like not to walk behind women or even star at pinky or the whole איסר יחוד… ) like all these rules show that H’ made hes Torah for as if all yidden are addicts. Like chzal were actually scared that people are gonna do זנות if not for all these rules. So I see I’m not alone or crazy. Like 2000 years ago they made rules for people just like me.
גוט שבת!!

Big day for me! Just posted my 400th posted !! 
I’m on day 15! I feel pretty confident that I’ll make to 30 bhy.

May you post 1,000,000 with the same GISHMAAAAK

​Do you want to share why don't you show your current strike for the oilem ?

doingtshuva wrote on 14 Feb 2023 11:36:

א  אמן!!

I don’t know how to… simple as that. Can you please teach me? I personally think that’s way more important and impressive than karma…

Go to the 90 day chart
by the columns of level you can change from public to private