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TOPIC: A Massive fail 4068 Views

Re: A Massive fail 14 Sep 2022 13:28 #385702

  • kavey
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Amazing!

Re: A Massive fail 14 Sep 2022 14:51 #385705

  • israeli14
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The fact that you are willing to give up all your gadgets to stop falling is praise worthy wow.
even if it doesnt fully work out, but just the idea that you're thinking about such thing shows that you really want to recover.

B'H keep fighting... I also have the same issue with filters although I think for the ipads if you can have someone else has the password for ICLOUD and the email associated with it and sets up screen time restrictions, I don't think you'd be able to by pass that.. at least I wasn't able to, my wife has all the passwords so even if I found a way to take off the restrictions she will right away find out about it.

Re: A Massive fail 16 Sep 2022 09:30 #385763

  • NewAgain
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Today is going to be tough. I have a couple visiting my home. My wife is friendly with the wife, and the husband is just coming along. We are friendly,  but not really friends. The hard part is this guy talks about nothing but sex and girls. I don't know how he is still married. He will point out a girl on the street and say, "check her out," and the girl would barely be 15 or 16... He is a pig... My wife loves his wife, and she is a wonderful person. 

I have to spend the day with him. I know he is leaving before Shabbos, so it will only be a few hours. I need EXTRA help today... Lighting the candles tonight will be extra special, knowing that I survived the day and can rest and recuperate tonight and tomorrow.

Re: A Massive fail 16 Sep 2022 12:48 #385765

  • retrych
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You cant say anything? Use elul as an excuse? I guess try coming up with other things to change the subject to? WHatever he notices or says, focus on some irrelevant detail tot alk about

Re: A Massive fail 16 Sep 2022 13:37 #385766

  • kavey
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Hopeful2022 wrote on 16 Sep 2022 09:30:
Today is going to be tough. I have a couple visiting my home. My wife is friendly with the wife, and the husband is just coming along. We are friendly,  but not really friends. The hard part is this guy talks about nothing but sex and girls. I don't know how he is still married. He will point out a girl on the street and say, "check her out," and the girl would barely be 15 or 16... He is a pig... My wife loves his wife, and she is a wonderful person. 

I have to spend the day with him. I know he is leaving before Shabbos, so it will only be a few hours. I need EXTRA help today... Lighting the candles tonight will be extra special, knowing that I survived the day and can rest and recuperate tonight and tomorrow.

Wow, you're a real tzaddik! We say every morning "those who seek Hashem should rejoice!"

Re: A Massive fail 16 Sep 2022 13:51 #385767

  • vehkam
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You can Tell him the truth. “I am really trying to focus on my relationship with my wife. It is certainly tempting to “check her out” but I can’t do that and also focus on my relationship ”. If you say it without being condescending hopefully he will never feel safe making those inappropriate comments with you and will keep to more positive conversations.
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some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: A Massive fail 16 Sep 2022 16:06 #385769

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
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Can you just tell your wife you are leaving for the beis medresh for the afternoon and go shteig for a couple of hours?
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.
Last Edit: 16 Sep 2022 16:06 by 5Uu80*cdwB#^.

Re: A Massive fail 17 Sep 2022 09:42 #385779

  • NewAgain
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Well, the day went as expected. He is a pig, and that is all he wanted to talk about, but I just kept "non-responding" and changed the topic. I think that after a while, he got the point. He would say something about some girl on the street, and I responded with, "Wow, the weather is great today." It was almost comical. I had HaShem with me all day. The Yetzer didn't have a chance. We (HaShem and I) were laughing and having a great day together. We even felt sorry for the guy that is his lone focus was on ANY girl that he saw that was much younger than him and not his wife. What a pathetic way to go through life.
With the help of HaShem and you guys on here, the day was a breeze. 

Re: A Massive fail 18 Sep 2022 01:07 #385786

  • DeletedUser1224
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So happy to hear!! That’s pretty incredible that you stayed strong throughout your whole interaction with him! Keep up the great work and keep posting here—you are helping others with every post (whether they tell you or not…). I hope we hear many more success stories from you!
-ftc
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: A Massive fail 19 Sep 2022 10:23 #385834

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I enter today with Great Gratitude and love of HaShem. Today is the beginning of a new week. I am clean and ready to prepare for the battles ahead of me. I can just feel the Yetzer getting worried. He had me in his grips and used me however he wanted to at any time. That has changed. He is still a formidable foe, and I know that I can't let my guard down, but knowing what I know now, from the thoughtful and caring replies to my posts and the proper Emunah, I will win this war. I may not win every battle, but I have victory in my sights.

I come to this website first thing every morning. I do my check-in and then read some posts. The stories of failure and victory all give me strength. I know that I am not alone. I am part of a group of men all fighting together for a common cause. I know that everyone here is trying to live the cleanest life they can, and that is amazing. 

These posts are powerful! The prayers given and received are powerful; we are more powerful than the Yetzer. Together we all can do this!

Remember, Alone, you may go faster, but together you will go farther.  

Let us all finish up this year on a powerful and positive note and head off into 5783 united in our love of HaShem, united in our disdain for the filth of this world, and committed like never before to fight this battle with every fiber of our collective being.

Have a awesome week!

Re: A Massive fail 14 Oct 2022 08:48 #386487

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This morning I did my usual routine of checking into GYE, reading some posts, and pondering my day. There are stories that give me hope, some that frustrate me, some that almost trigger me, and stories that make me feel lucky that my issue is not nearly as bad as some others. The stories run the gamut of emotions for me. Today, however, something struck a nerve, a nerve of how to make these problems better. We will all (hopefully) continue to use this program and therapy if needed, but there is ONE thing that would make this problem significantly better for almost everyone on here.

Get rid of your Smartphones! Forget the filters and the silly games we all play with it. Forget all the excuses we give ourselves for saying that we NEED it. We all have a problem here, and getting rid of our smartphones will dramatically help all of us who are suffering from this issue. It will not cure us or make all our problems go away, but life will be a lot better if we do this one thing.

Ask yourself how often the smartphone plays a role in having a fall. Ask yourself how much better life would be if you didn't have a smartphone. 

We are using these "filters" as an excuse to fall. We kid ourselves into thinking that these filters will protect us, but they won't, and deep down, we all know it. The only filter is not having the phone in the first place.

​I have the Fig Phone coming any day now, and when it arrives, my $1000 iPhone is being sold, and the money is going to Tzedakah. This single bold act will give me such a better chance of staying clean. I hope all of you will consider this. We don't need to have a smartphone!!

Re: A Massive fail 14 Oct 2022 10:45 #386489

  • kavey
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You're a special person. May you continue to go from strength to strength and give us all chizzuk.

Re: A Massive fail 20 Oct 2022 08:35 #386577

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Heading to Eretz Israel next Sunday. It has been about 3 years since my last visit. I am going alone, without my wife and as anyone who has read my posts know, when I am away from her is when I get into trouble. I am trying to come up with a strategy for my trip. I will be alone in hotel rooms with an unfiltered cellphone and computer. 

Do I just give up and admit that the two weeks I am away are going to be filled with smut and filth? That is such a disgrace to the land that I love so much. Or will HaShem give me the strength to stay clean while I am away? 

Any particular strategies that anyone could recommend?

​I am heading straight to the Kotel and davening for strength. I hope it is enough

Re: A Massive fail 20 Oct 2022 12:58 #386580

  • i-man
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Hopeful2022 wrote on 20 Oct 2022 08:35:
Heading to Eretz Israel next Sunday. It has been about 3 years since my last visit. I am going alone, without my wife and as anyone who has read my posts know, when I am away from her is when I get into trouble. I am trying to come up with a strategy for my trip. I will be alone in hotel rooms with an unfiltered cellphone and computer. 

Do I just give up and admit that the two weeks I am away are going to be filled with smut and filth? That is such a disgrace to the land that I love so much. Or will HaShem give me the strength to stay clean while I am away? 

Any particular strategies that anyone could recommend?

​I am heading straight to the Kotel and davening for strength. I hope it is enough

Anyway to put reporting software on your devices, that you can have sent to someone you wouldn’t want to see that your watching porn ? Davening and Hope may not cut it..

Re: A Massive fail 20 Oct 2022 13:26 #386581

  • cordnoy
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Hopeful2022 wrote on 20 Oct 2022 08:35:
Heading to Eretz Israel next Sunday. It has been about 3 years since my last visit. I am going alone, without my wife and as anyone who has read my posts know, when I am away from her is when I get into trouble. I am trying to come up with a strategy for my trip. I will be alone in hotel rooms with an unfiltered cellphone and computer. 

Do I just give up and admit that the two weeks I am away are going to be filled with smut and filth? That is such a disgrace to the land that I love so much. Or will HaShem give me the strength to stay clean while I am away? 

Any particular strategies that anyone could recommend?

​I am heading straight to the Kotel and davening for strength. I hope it is enough

It's not, sorry.
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