chaimoigen wrote on 04 Jan 2024 01:26:

Wanna play? Alright, let's do it then.

We can indeed assign today's chores to tomorrow.
When, pray tell, will the assigning process take place? Today. We can't do anything tomorrow. We can plan, fantasize, and imagine. But all that takes place now, not then.

Tomorrow is a concept. Granted, it can be a useful concept, but nevertheless, it doesn't exist. We can't interact with it. The concept of Tomorrow feeds off the reality of Today.

"It is what it is" doesn't apply to tomorrow - not because it isn't "yet," but because it isn't. Period. Tomorrow never comes. 

It has endless potential, and so does a fantasy. Both share the same level of non-existence and somehow manage to hijack us from reality. 

Today is reality. Right now is where stuff happens. This is where we can take care of tasks - or postpone them.

If all this Alan Watts'esque talk makes you cringe, here's something more Heimish on the subject: Return one day before your death.

As the [insert_adjective] Kamala Harris allegedly said, "Today is today, and yesterday is today, yesterday. Tomorrow will be today tomorrow, so live today so the future today will be as the past today, as it is tomorrow."

P.S. When I say "today," I don't necessarily mean from the Alos till the Tzeis. I'm using today as a symbol of the current moment. Later today has the same quality as tomorrow. They're both hocus-pocus; one is just on the other side of sleep (hopefully).

connected wrote on 04 Jan 2024 14:25:

I actually think the peyos are too bushy.....

connected wrote on 04 Jan 2024 14:39:

Thank you.
All kidding aside, this is a brilliantly articulated presentation of a profound truth. 
I read it a few times, and appreciated it more each time. 
means more than the slogans. 

I’m thinking this is also the deeper understanding of Hillel’s dictum 
אם לא עכשיו אימתי

Here's an interesting observation: when I post regularly on the forums, it kinda makes sense; when I withhold commentary, this whole pursuit seems peculiar.

That's where I'm now, at the peculiar stage.

It's a website where frum guys come to gripe, boast, and argue about stuff they wouldn't dare speak about to actual human beings (for the most part).

Fun.

connected wrote on 23 Jan 2024 15:21:

The beauty of an online, anonymous, chat room GYE

connected wrote on 23 Jan 2024 15:21:

The GYE forum has something to offer which can't be found in the real world. I spoke to three Rabbanim in real life about my struggles and they had no clue how to resolve them. Two of the Rabbanim where very well-known public figures. Some of us need in-person meetings, partners, mentors etc. and GYE offers them. For some of us for whom the forum is enough, or who can use the forum in addition to something else, there is nothing in the real world that has the power that can be found here. It might be fun to post on the forum but we should be doing it in order to grow and in order to help others grow. Chilling out can also sometimes be a part of healing.

connected wrote on 23 Jan 2024 15:21:

I relate to the fact that the longer I stay away the stranger it feels. 
That doesn’t mean it’s not one of the best things that happened to me. 

Noticed your new name, friend. 
We are all a little twisted. Embracing the inner twistedness is a bit scary, though.  
I hope you stick around.

One day your name will be Untwisted. We are taught in chinuch not to keep giving our children negative names and connotations because they will eventually define themselves as such and live up to them. If your name remains Twisted make sure it is associated with the verse עם עקש תתפתל.

I wanted to make a joke about what my parents named me here but then I remembered that this place is for Anonymity and I shouldn't be posting my name

Dear Twisted,

On Friday, I read your entire thread. So beautiful!!!

It’s inspiring, raw and honest. Sometimes very entertaining. A truly riveting journey, you were so fired up in the beginning and slowly evolved from connected to disconnected to reconnected and now, into Twisted. 

I relate to so much of your inner dialogue. And I also read easy peasy which helped me a lot. Actually, I may have gotten the idea from you. 

It was also amusing to thank my own posts from a previously deleted username. Felt like living through a Time Turner moment but I digress…

Please continue to share your journey and wisdom as “Twisted”, even if it sometimes seems peculiar. 

One lingering question I’m left with, if you don’t mind me asking…

Have you ever shared your life with a friend, maybe a friend from GYE, or from regular life? A friend that you can be openly honest with, someone who knows you and to whom you can be (sometimes painfully) vulnerable with? Someone to whom you’re comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions, someone who can help ease the inner pain and loneliness we sometimes experience?

I don’t know if that would make a difference, as I don’t know you personally and perhaps you do have a relationship like that…I’m just curious because it is not clear from your thread.

Anyhow…wishing you a good week!

Admiringly, -Youknowwho

youknowwho wrote on 04 Feb 2024 06:10:

Hey buddy how Y'all doing?

Where I'm currently at:

Nobody cares.
Nor should they.
It's none of their business.
But it still hurts.
That subconscious expectation that it be otherwise.

Sometimes, I can live with the hurt.
Others, I try to escape it.
There's no escape, though.
Except, possibly, death.

Until then, I'll smile politely to my planet-mates and laugh with them if they get it.
Laughter. Perhaps there is an escape.

Twisted wrote on 03 May 2024 14:45:


"To the well organized mind, Death is but the next great adventure" - Albus Dumbledore

In the meantime, while we are all trapped here on Earth, in the present reality of loneliness and misery, perhaps we can learn how to escape into the warm, loving embrace of....living?

I hope that this is indeed possible, for my own wretched sake too...

Great to see you here, my Twisted friend…

Twisted wrote on 03 May 2024 14:45:

I feel your pain . Deeply .
Hopefully you can feel my caring . Even just slightly.

It's at this bittersweet time of year when I watch my daughter proudly graduate from preschool, and the inevitable passage of time makes itself evident, yet again, that I can't help but feel that it's time for me to move on as well.

It's been a helluva ride, and may the Almighty grant us all clarity.

Signing off, Twisted.