I started my journey full of energy and light

Excited by Mitzvos learning day and night

I thought I was immune had not much to fear

Just keep to the Torah he won’t get very near

But the yetzer hara had other plans

He knew I had desires just like every man

The pictures I looked at, the things I read and saw

And then there was no stopping I wanted more and more

In middle of Seder in middle of sleep

Into my mind those images would creep

Pleasure won’t change you,  you’ll still be the same

But when I succumbed I only felt shame.

Of course when I’m married these thoughts will all cease

I’ll have pas b’saalo I’ll handle it with ease

But what kind of house, what foundation was built

When constantly falling, all I felt was guilt

My dreams were abandoned goals put to rest

To the outside successful, inside was a mess

Slowly the failures took over inside me

at myself, when I look, I don’t know who I see

no longer learned much didn’t hang out with yidden

Spent money and time on things surely forbidden

I hid my tracks well don’t be caught was my rule

Only me and hashem could never be fooled

And then the Daf Yomi at MetLife so proud

Next time I will finish with the rest of the crowd

And for  brachos Daf beis at a shiur I was sighted

And from deep within me a small flame ignited

Day after day I would finish the blatt

straddled both worlds - both of them - a lot

But inside my neshama was now awake

I couldnt ignore it could no longer be fake

The struggle continued another whole year

Chasing life’s pleasures yet a heart so sincere

A moment of clarity, it all made no sense

Please hashem help me unstraddle this fence

So I made an account on the guard your eyes site

Resolved to try hard to put up a fight

While I hoped to succeed, was the right time and place

I fully expected to fall flat on my face

I posted my story my hopes and my fears

The hole that i’d dug my pain and my tears

The responses were helpful was no longer alone

It took some more weeks but I picked up the phone

I spoke to a mentor he understood

I started to believe if I wanted I could

Put all this behind me in a way that would mean

I could live out my life with a slate that was clean

Then hashem helped me, Hillel S wrote a book

The battle of the generation changed how I look

At my relationship with hashem who loves more than A father

And was waiting all these years while I just didn’t bother

From the time I realized that hashem wanted me back

All that bad stuff I was doing just stopped in it’s track

The desire to please him and reach levels much higher

Has helped to extinguish any harmful desire

Now I know that this feeling is a gift from above

And I must work to continue to serve hashem with love

For so many years that needed correction

I can’t be complacent, I need that connection

my father in heaven can I express even a fraction

For allowing me back in spite of my actions

I took one step towards you in the hopes to repair

And you showed me a world that you always were here.

My dreams once abandoned are now back in place

I want only one thing, to live in your grace

Excited by mitzvos learning day and night

I continue my journey full of energy and light.

Vehkam7@gmail.com

What would I say if I had the opportunity to speak at the kinus for women

I cannot speak for a womens perspective but as a husband/son/father here are some of my thoughts.

Your sons are growing up in a world with unprecedented challenges. Most of your children will be exposed to things that used to be beyond comprehension. That is even if you are successful in keeping your house pure.  Please know that your children especially your sons will be challenged.  There are things you can do to help them get through these challenges.

1. love them unconditionally. No matter what.  Especially when they are struggling they need to know that you still love them.
2. Believe in them.  When a child feels that you believe in them, that empowers them to stand up to challenges.  Always praise their strengths.
3. Never judge.  It’s easy to draw lines that should not be crossed. Don’t judge even if those lines are crossed.  You have no way of knowing the nisayon of the next person- even your children.  The best advice is not to judge anyone and to leave that for hashem.
4. Talk to them. Keep the lines of communication open. If they trust you and are used to communicating with you, you will have many more opportunities to help them if they are overwhelmed by challenges.
5. Simcha - happiness in the home is key.  Do whatever it takes to make your home a happy place. Focus on all the positive aspects. The Simcha of Shabbos and yomtov (not the stress of cleaning up etc…)
6. There is a natural curiosity to look at things that should No be looked at.  This is true for your daughters as well. Even the really “good” ones.  Don’t make it easy for them to satisfy that curiosity.  Filter and password protect everything.
7. No filter is going to stop someone who does not want to be stopped.  The main focus must be on the internal person.  To help them build the connections and the desire to be connected to hashem.
8. The desire to be close to hashem needs to be stronger then the desire of the temptations around them. Otherwise eventually the willpower to resist can easily fall away.  Try to bring an awareness to that connection which is unique for each individual person.
9. Your children must know that hashem loves them no matter what.  So many years have been lost by people that fell and didn’t bother getting up because they did not believe that hashem still wanted them.  (It’s not all or nothing)
10. Teach your children to recognize the positive that they do. The yetzer hara will tell them that they are a rasha for a few big aveiros when in reality they are holding back from aveira much more then they are giving in.  We can reinforce this concept and protect them from falling for that trap of the yetzer hara.
11. We are not perfect. Hashem created us and created our challenges. Good people fall.  Sincere people fall. Talmidei chachamim fall.  Don’t think that once someone falls that they are “damaged goods”. If someone falls you can still believe in them.  Believe in them and you will help them to believe in themselves.
12. These challenges are opportunities for growth. With the proper perspective you can help someone ordinary become extraordinary in their relationship with hashem.
13. Share these concepts with the people around you.  Discuss them. Make them part of the fabric of your house.

I believe that with this atmosphere we will be able to raise a generation of ovdei hashem who will rise from the decadence around them to levels of yira and ahavas hashem that are unfathomable.  

What would you add to this list?

What would I say if I had the opportunity to speak at the kinus for women

I cannot speak for a womens perspective but as a husband/son/father here are some of my thoughts.

Your sons are growing up in a world with unprecedented challenges. Most of your children will be exposed to things that used to be beyond comprehension. That is even if you are successful in keeping your house pure.  Please know that your children especially your sons will be challenged.  There are things you can do to help them get through these challenges.

1. love them unconditionally. No matter what.  Especially when they are struggling they need to know that you still love them.
2. Believe in them.  When a child feels that you believe in them, that empowers them to stand up to challenges.  Always praise their strengths.
3. Never judge.  It’s easy to draw lines that should not be crossed. Don’t judge even if those lines are crossed.  You have no way of knowing the nisayon of the next person- even your children.  The best advice is not to judge anyone and to leave that for hashem.
4. Talk to them. Keep the lines of communication open. If they trust you and are used to communicating with you, you will have many more opportunities to help them if they are overwhelmed by challenges.
5. Simcha - happiness in the home is key.  Do whatever it takes to make your home a happy place. Focus on all the positive aspects. The Simcha of Shabbos and yomtov (not the stress of cleaning up etc…)
6. There is a natural curiosity to look at things that should No be looked at.  This is true for your daughters as well. Even the really “good” ones.  Don’t make it easy for them to satisfy that curiosity.  Filter and password protect everything.
7. No filter is going to stop someone who does not want to be stopped.  The main focus must be on the internal person.  To help them build the connections and the desire to be connected to hashem.
8. The desire to be close to hashem needs to be stronger then the desire of the temptations around them. Otherwise eventually the willpower to resist can easily fall away.  Try to bring an awareness to that connection which is unique for each individual person.
9. Your children must know that hashem loves them no matter what.  So many years have been lost by people that fell and didn’t bother getting up because they did not believe that hashem still wanted them.  (It’s not all or nothing)
10. Teach your children to recognize the positive that they do. The yetzer hara will tell them that they are a rasha for a few big aveiros when in reality they are holding back from aveira much more then they are giving in.  We can reinforce this concept and protect them from falling for that trap of the yetzer hara.
11. We are not perfect. Hashem created us and created our challenges. Good people fall.  Sincere people fall. Talmidei chachamim fall.  Don’t think that once someone falls that they are “damaged goods”. If someone falls you can still believe in them.  Believe in them and you will help them to believe in themselves.
12. These challenges are opportunities for growth. With the proper perspective you can help someone ordinary become extraordinary in their relationship with hashem.
13. Share these concepts with the people around you.  Discuss them. Make them part of the fabric of your house.

I believe that with this atmosphere we will be able to raise a generation of ovdei hashem who will rise from the decadence around them to levels of yira and ahavas hashem that are unfathomable.  

What would you add to this list?

What would I say if I had the opportunity to speak at the kinus for women being advertised this week…

I cannot speak for a womens perspective but as a husband/son/father here are some of my thoughts.

Your sons are growing up in a world with unprecedented challenges. Most of your children will be exposed to things that used to be beyond comprehension. That is even if you are successful in keeping your house pure.  Please know that your children especially your sons will be challenged.  There are things you can do to help them get through these challenges.

1. love them unconditionally. No matter what.  Especially when they are struggling they need to know that you still love them.
2. Believe in them.  When a child feels that you believe in them, that empowers them to stand up to challenges.  Always praise their strengths.
3. Never judge.  It’s easy to draw lines that should not be crossed. Don’t judge even if those lines are crossed.  You have no way of knowing the nisayon of the next person- even your children.  The best advice is not to judge anyone and to leave that for hashem.
4. Talk to them. Keep the lines of communication open. If they trust you and are used to communicating with you, you will have many more opportunities to help them if they are overwhelmed by challenges.
5. Simcha - happiness in the home is key.  Do whatever it takes to make your home a happy place. Focus on all the positive aspects. The Simcha of Shabbos and yomtov (not the stress of cleaning up etc…)
6. There is a natural curiosity to look at things that should No be looked at.  This is true for your daughters as well. Even the really “good” ones.  Don’t make it easy for them to satisfy that curiosity.  Filter and password protect everything.
7. No filter is going to stop someone who does not want to be stopped.  The main focus must be on the internal person.  To help them build the connections and the desire to be connected to hashem.
8. The desire to be close to hashem needs to be stronger then the desire of the temptations around them. Otherwise eventually the willpower to resist can easily fall away.  Try to bring an awareness to that connection which is unique for each individual person.
9. Your children must know that hashem loves them no matter what.  So many years have been lost by people that fell and didn’t bother getting up because they did not believe that hashem still wanted them.  (It’s not all or nothing)
10. Teach your children to recognize the positive that they do. The yetzer hara will tell them that they are a rasha for a few big aveiros when in reality they are holding back from aveira much more then they are giving in.  We can reinforce this concept and protect them from falling for that trap of the yetzer hara.
11. We are not perfect. Hashem created us and created our challenges. Good people fall.  Sincere people fall. Talmidei chachamim fall.  Don’t think that once someone falls that they are “damaged goods”. If someone falls you can still believe in them.  Believe in them and you will help them to believe in themselves.
12. These challenges are opportunities for growth. With the proper perspective you can help someone ordinary become extraordinary in their relationship with hashem.
13. Share these concepts with the people around you.  Discuss them. Make them part of the fabric of your house.

I believe that with this atmosphere we will be able to raise a generation of ovdei hashem who will rise from the decadence around them to levels of yira and ahavas hashem that are unfathomable.  

What would you add to this list?

What would I say if I had the opportunity to speak at the kinus for women being advertised this week…

I cannot speak for a womens perspective but as a husband/son/father here are some of my thoughts.

Your sons are growing up in a world with unprecedented challenges. Most of your children will be exposed to things that used to be beyond comprehension. That is even if you are successful in keeping your house pure.  Please know that your children especially your sons will be challenged.  There are things you can do to help them get through these challenges.

1. love them unconditionally. No matter what.  Especially when they are struggling they need to know that you still love them.
2. Believe in them.  When a child feels that you believe in them, that empowers them to stand up to challenges.  Always praise their strengths.
3. Never judge.  It’s easy to draw lines that should not be crossed. Don’t judge even if those lines are crossed.  You have no way of knowing the nisayon of the next person- even your children.  The best advice is not to judge anyone and to leave that for hashem.
4. Talk to them. Keep the lines of communication open. If they trust you and are used to communicating with you, you will have many more opportunities to help them if they are overwhelmed by challenges.
5. Simcha - happiness in the home is key.  Do whatever it takes to make your home a happy place. Focus on all the positive aspects. The Simcha of Shabbos and yomtov (not the stress of cleaning up etc…)
6. There is a natural curiosity to look at things that should No be looked at.  This is true for your daughters as well. Even the really “good” ones.  Don’t make it easy for them to satisfy that curiosity.  Filter and password protect everything.
7. No filter is going to stop someone who does not want to be stopped.  The main focus must be on the internal person.  To help them build the connections and the desire to be connected to hashem.
8. The desire to be close to hashem needs to be stronger then the desire of the temptations around them. Otherwise eventually the willpower to resist can easily fall away.  Try to bring an awareness to that connection which is unique for each individual person.
9. Your children must know that hashem loves them no matter what.  So many years have been lost by people that fell and didn’t bother getting up because they did not believe that hashem still wanted them.  (It’s not all or nothing)
10. Teach your children to recognize the positive that they do. The yetzer hara will tell them that they are a rasha for a few big aveiros when in reality they are holding back from aveira much more then they are giving in.  We can reinforce this concept and protect them from falling for that trap of the yetzer hara.
11. We are not perfect. Hashem created us and created our challenges. Good people fall.  Sincere people fall. Talmidei chachamim fall.  Don’t think that once someone falls that they are “damaged goods”. If someone falls you can still believe in them.  Believe in them and you will help them to believe in themselves.
12. These challenges are opportunities for growth. With the proper perspective you can help someone ordinary become extraordinary in their relationship with hashem.
13. Share these concepts with the people around you.  Discuss them. Make them part of the fabric of your house.

I believe that with this atmosphere we will be able to raise a generation of ovdei hashem who will rise from the decadence around them to levels of yira and ahavas hashem that are unfathomable.  

What would you add to this list?