Taphsic is working B''H!!! Keeping up with shacharis also.

I am clean, thank you Hashem! Taphsic keeps me from falling, though I have been struggling with many urges. Grateful to G-d for giving us the Torah that has so many tools we can use to battle our yetzer hara. I need to keep the urges in check through exercise, keeping my work hours up, and learning/davening.

Clean B''H. I missed shacharis yesterday for the first time in 2ish weeks, but I davened mincha, and I davened shacharis today. I also renewed my shvuah until a week from this motzei shabbos.

I am clean, BH, but struggling. The only reason I haven't fallen is my shvuah.

Feeling better about my marriage. I had a great shabbos with my wife and we have a potential opportunity to move to a community where we will IY''H be much more in a Torah observant environment. Both of us are excited about the possibility.

I'm 17 days clean!!!! Urges have tapered off a bit but still strong. I'm going to renew my shvuah after I write this post until the motzei shabbos after next. 

20 days! One big issue I was having that was driving relapse urges was that I was "edging" (as in M without finish) at different points in the day. I had hardly even realized it was happening. I don't consider it a fall (and it is excluded in my shvuah) but it's pretty bad. Since realizing this 2 days ago, I have been able to avoid it entirely B''H.

On the davening situation, it has been a long time since I missed shacharis, and I am now davening mincha most days. Also doing Mishna Yomis which keeps up a learning habit. Very grateful.

You are a hero buddy, a real hero. Keep inspiring the chevra here.

Happy to say that I am holding at 26 days clean. This is actually a huge milestone for me, as when I was in high school I went to a sleepaway camp--there was basically no privacy so I was clean the whole time. It was 26 days long, so I think I may have tied my longest streak ever B''H!!

I also started volunteering for the local chevra kadisha, for many reasons but also to help with recovery; not to get too dark, but in the past, I have found that having reminders of death helps me to live my life better. It is very emotionally challenging work, but IY''H it may be something that I can keep doing. I definitely recommend doing taharos or at least going to levayos to anyone else in recovery.

Check out this link: www.apps4flip.com/oddsnends they show you how to use ADB (Computer nerd alert!) commands to erase the browser on a 4g flip phone. It should work on android smartphones as well

BT Again wrote on 12 Jan 2022 05:37:

Chazal tell us that "yazkir lo yom ha'misa" is beneficial, however the reason it is the last strategy on the list is because encountering death can also become "normal" and lose its effect.  However, there is another permenant gain to being involved in chevra kadisha - feel good about yourself for doing this incredible chessed shel emes. With well desreved good feelings about yourself, you will have it that much easier to stay clean.  One of the main ingredients in breaking free is developing a wholesome degree of self worth - finally viewing one's self as a good fellow - not a loser or rasha. Hatzlocha buddy!

That has been the single most valuable lesson that I learned from being on GYE.  For many years I totally viewed myself as a closet rasha. For a few years Even davened on yomim noraim for Hashem to just end it already. I am starting to see myself in a different light and, although I try not to think about all the stuff I did in the past, I can appreciate how important I am and how much Hashem wants me (and is helping me) to succeed.

We must keep on reminding ourselves that Hashem loves us despite our sins. No matter how badly we fell, Hashem still cares about us. He never gets angry with us, no matter how badly we sin.

Also, R' Tzadok HaKohen of Lublin writes (Tzidkas Hatzadik 154): "Just as one must believe in Hashem, so too, one must believe in himself!" Hashem wants us to BELIEVE in our strengths, our capabilities, and in our ability to overcome evil and achieve greatness.

Until GYE,  when ever I heard those speeches  I thought to myself that applies to “normal baalei aveira” it can’t possibly include me with my “secret life”. Now I can appreciate that I am also included.

Brothers, we're all gonna make it. Holding at 27 days B''H.

I learned yesterday an idea that the nisyonos we have were chosen by us before we came into this world. This means that all our struggles have a purpose AND we have the power to overcome them, or we wouldn't have chosen them!

32 days--lots of struggles lately but I am clean. P and M won't fix my problems; they will only make them worse.