I don't know what to do anymore!!!!!! I have a unfiltered device in my house and it is killing me!!!!! I can't tell my parents to filter it because won't know how to handle the situation if I'd tell them.
I wish I can get rid of my urges!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm lost...

Rt234 wrote on 12 Jul 2021 03:41:

No stress. Hand in your resignation.



While you’re on the road to deliver it, check this out http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf#page=2

If your living by your parents, you may need to work up the courage to broach the subject with them. They grew up in a different generation and there's no way they'd realize by themselves how dangerous unfiltered internet access is. Is this a family computer?

Taharat Yisrael wrote on 12 Jul 2021 05:59:

Yes I am living with them. Though I cannot bring it up because they have zero clue how to deal with it. I know.
itll just make things worse for me and for them

Rt234 wrote on 12 Jul 2021 06:12:

I'll be happy to speak to your mother. I'm confident that I can convince her.

On another thread someone wrote that you can simply say: I am wasting too much time on YouTube. Can we get a filter so I can have an extra fence for this?

Rt234 wrote on 12 Jul 2021 03:41:


Parents are only there for superficial stuff, and not for deep meaningful things?
What do you mean they won’t know how to handle...

Things are complicated...
bh I'm pulling myself together again!

Rt234 wrote on 18 Jul 2021 19:09:

I am not sure exactly what you are saying. 
OK so you’re pulling yourself together again this time what will happen on the next timeAre you prepared for getting toasted on the other side?

I had a similar situation by my in-laws. finally convinced my wife for them to just put a password on the whole computer.  they did but the hint gave it away. it was really embarrassing but i told my wife i knew the password and she got them to change it i think that my wife told them that i spend to much time on the computer and feel that I could really use help to curb   it . This hasn't changed my relationship with my in-laws.
i hope you find the courage to go ahead and get it done. hatzlacha rabbah

Speaking to parents about this is a killer, it really really is.
But there is simply no way to stay clean long term with unfiltered stuff.
You can see the beginning of my thread (Make It To Yeshiva) if you want, so see wat I’ve done in the past, though I may have been too extreme for you…

Hatzlocha,

YeshivaGuy

Ive actually stayed for clean for 7-8onths like that through Corona. I know I'm capable. It's not my personal device and I'm not always home so it's hard but I can handle it.
and my fall had nothing to do with the device I just left myself off guard and eventually fell bbut
I wasn't even home when that happened I know I can do because I already have.

1 During Shovavim one year my Shul did a program encouraging everyone together to get a filter. Maybe you can put up such a sign, I or someone else can make it for you if you want, put it in a few places. Emphasize power of the tzibbur, etc. Then say you want to join in, help reach the 100 signups or whatever. The zechus of the signs will anyway be a help for you

2 Say you're partnering with a friend.  Let one of us be the friend. Show them an email from someone here (emailed to a fake email address, or copied from here), explain you're doing it to support him. This one is a bit less believable, as least the way I wrote it.

3 Show them the statements of Rabbonim forbidding unfiltered devices. Say you have to listen.

4 Similar to what others have suggested, ask to get a productivity tool. They make them for businesses as well as personal use. Get one that will email X, or them, whatever you do each day, or else one that reports bad sites. They don't have to know you aren't the one viewing the reports, or exactly what kind of reports they are.

5 Are you in/thinking about shidduchim? Say its for shidduchim. It's not a lie. 

6 Can you anonymously speak to your parents' Shul Rav, ask him to encourage filters?

Appreciate all those ideas!
thank you!

retrych wrote on 19 Jul 2021 16:35:


This is solid gold! We gotta get this sent out on a GYE boost so the many people in this situation can see these ideas.