EvedHashem1836 wrote on 16 Jun 2021 04:32:
...But if the filter ever fails (which becomes more and more likely the more you test it, because you learn what doesn't work leaving you to try new things which will prob eventually work) then you have to start all over again. And maybe we place too much importance on the streaks and you can continue from where you left off. But my 0.02$ is that the streak is what motivates us so once you fall its likely you fall again and again and get into a rut of a few months before getting back up on the horse. If you can't believe this check out some of the big machers (no sarcasm intended - really have a lot of respect) around here on GYE who were doing incredible and then fell and have been in a been of a rut.
Logic and pure seichel says obviously don't test the filter its ridiculous but the emotion and longing and addiction prevails and hungers to test the filter but perhaps constantly thinking of the lack of logic will lead you to realize that it makes absolutely 0 sense whatsoever and is the animal soul inside you talking. We were created for a loftier purpose!
Okay, sorry to burst your bubble, but here are my two cents. Guys who fall after a long streak and cannot pick themselves up afterwards especially when it comes to the guys who are here a while, it has little to do with the fact that the streak was their only motivation and a lot to do with the fact that they have a bigger problem, one that "doing a streak" just doesn't fix.
If you can do the 90 day thing, maybe fall the first time or two then get to 3000 etc. great, that means that your struggle is a different one than the guys who cannot pick themselves up.
Guys get excited when they first show up here, or some other motivation, like getting caught and they put together a nice streak. Some guys understand that there is more to it and they work on underlying things, go to therapy, speak to a mentor, etc. and some guys don't. When We don't deal with the real problem and just "stay clean" we are in for a life of suffering. It's like treating a heart attack with a tylenol.
I am not saying that everyone breaks after a while, rather that for some, the main role that the streak plays is to indicate that they have a bigger issue and that counting days just wont cut it. It's not a motivation issue, it's a bigger issue that needs dealing with.
I think that Mr. LTI proves my point perfectly. He knows good and well that what he is doing is dangerous, he doesn't need anyone to tell him that. It would seem that his streak is his main motivation (yeah, that feeling of success) and therefore he is okay with "sticking to the rules" even though looking for stuff isn't a special mitzvah either. There are two approaches to this, one is to say, well, my goal is not to masturbate so anything more is just "too much!" The other option is to take some time to think, why is it that I am looking? Am I bored? Do I feel like my life is missing something? Why is it that I only care about the streak but I am okay with doing other things that I know are harmful?
If at 60+ days a person is just making it by the skin of their teeth, I think it's time for a deeper look.
Sometimes it's as simple as finding a new hobby, or keeping busy. Sometimes it's looking for more meaning in life. And sometimes it's dealing with messier stuff.
I think that a healthy goal for now would be to set up some time (even better if you can do this with someone with whom you can be honest and knows how to help) to write down the situations and feelings that you have when you are tempted to start looking. Are you escaping from something? Bored? Stressed? Make a list, share it with us here and try to be honest. This will get you far more than another 10 days of white knuckling.
We learnt how to live without porn, now we need to learn how to live with ourselves.
This post is definitely a "Dose of clarity" and "The Truth".... at least in my experience. Very well said.
as to what people ask then what's the point of the streak, and the 90 days challenge? I'll just say what it is to me.
I think that when a person masturbates often, he usually does it at every uncomfortable situation, or even just for pleasure. It's hard to see the root cause which pushed him into it and doesn't let him stop. The 90 days challenge helped me to stop for pleasure, and for other situations, but when it came to my root issue, when I couldn't live with myself, the streak etc didnt cut it. And that helped me realize which issue is my root issue and on what I need to work on internally. After falling a few times, (after my initial long streak when I joined) I was able to examine what feelings, moods and thoughts, I had leading up to the fall, and get to work on the underlying issues.
