Welcome, Guest
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
On the Way to 90-Days

OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
Reply Topic
New Topic

TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 40985 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 00:55 #394980

  • eccentriccomposer
  • Current streak: 299 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 222
  • Karma: 29
I agree with eyes, though I don't have any experience in this, but I have read that once you build up a relationship with someone, they become the exact person you are looking for in all ways, if you know what I mean. I hope I was able to help a bit!
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
Daily Dose

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 03:40 #394985

Hi All,
this is actually my first post I want to shed some light to this topic. In fact you actually asked a good question. How can a man stay attracted to his wife after being married 10 years. 
The answer to the question is you are absolutely correct. That is Human nature. if you look at the non Jewish world people don’t rush to get married. Why get locked into one person. Secondly look at the divorce rate. People get burnt out of their wives and that is nature. After a while it’s not the same.
All this is true, which brings us to the beauty of a Jewish Marriage which is an extensive topic. In short when a person keep nidah hashem is constantly pumping love into the marriage. After keeping each cycle the love between husband and wife renews itself which is a special inhuman blessing hashem gives us. This is the secret which separates our self from the goyim. 

next point - which someone else touched on. the Megillah talks about how beautiful Esther was. In fact if you look at the commentary she was actually green. Her true beauty was her heart which shines, and that’s a  unique חן a bas melech has. 

To end off I want to discuss a question which will help us gain some more clarity on this topic as well. If we look at the non Jewish world, and average guy gets married around upper 20’s to 30’s. The man and women are pretty set in life. Financially stable, mature, they know what they want, and then they come together to get married. Comes the torah and says a person 18 should get married, so I guess the girl would be 16. At this stage, the person is probably not fully mature, and we ask him to take the financial burden, have kids, hold a marriage. How does this make sense? the answer is when we are still at this a person is growing. As the husband and wife get older they grow into like the pasuk says ויהיו לבשר אחד. The flip side when someone is 30 they are more set in their way. When when you are young you mold into that one person. We see Jewish marriage is something not subjugated to laws of nature. When we follow in hashem path he is pumping love and his blessing into the marriage. 

Hope everyone can gain from this. Feel free to share your thoughts 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 04:07 #394987

OivedElokim wrote on 25 Apr 2023 23:08:
Day 3
Went on my first date, went pretty well BH. I have several reasons to think that it's not gonna work for me, but I'm keeping an open mind and am going forward with a second date. We'll see how it goes...

I won't get into the details of the date, except for one thing that is directly relevant to GYE and the fight we're all in here:

After over a decade of being steeped in the lustful imagery so prevalent in our modern, decadent culture, the "Looks Factor" really holds a lot of sway over me. She's not ugly but she ain't pretty either...

Before everyone pounces on me: I may be lustful but I'm not delusional. I don't think any frum girl (who shares my values and connects with me emotionally/romantically) will ever hold a candle to the supermodels and p-stars that I've been flooding my vision and imagination with over the past 12 years or so. If I do end up with a very pretty girl it will be sheer luck, or hashgacha. Whatever. I've noticed that (in real life, not in lengire ads) pretty women are pretty rare (pardon the pun)...

However, it's still a struggle for me. The concept of monogamy in general is a hard pill to swallow (many people with beautiful wives still cheat and watch porn etc) , and it's especially when it's not with the most gorgeous woman known to man. I would be interested to hear the oilam's input, especially those of you that are married. I imagine this has probably been hashed out in some older threads, but I'd like to reopen the conversation.

My question is: How does one come to terms with the fact that you have only one kosher sexual outlet in life, which is an average looking woman?

I feel like it's easier for a bochur that struggles with this because he's not committed to anyone else but himself. Marriage probably makes things much harder...

Thanks for reading. I hope this post sparks respectful dialogue (and not people shooting angrily from the hip).
Anyways, all the best!

OivedElokim




here are my thoughts 
Hi All,
this is actually my first post I want to shed some light to this topic. In fact you actually asked a good question. How can a man stay attracted to his wife after being married 10 years. 
The answer to the question is you are absolutely correct. That is Human nature. if you look at the non Jewish world people don’t rush to get married. Why get locked into one person. Secondly look at the divorce rate. People get burnt out of their wives and that is nature. After a while it’s not the same.
All this is true, which brings us to the beauty of a Jewish Marriage which is an extensive topic. In short when a person keep nidah hashem is constantly pumping love into the marriage. After keeping each cycle the love between husband and wife renews itself which is a special inhuman blessing hashem gives us. This is the secret which separates our self from the goyim. 

next point - which someone else touched on. the Megillah talks about how beautiful Esther was. In fact if you look at the commentary she was actually green. Her true beauty was her heart which shines, and that’s a  unique חן a bas melech has. 

To end off I want to discuss a question which will help us gain some more clarity on this topic as well. If we look at the non Jewish world, and average guy gets married around upper 20’s to 30’s. The man and women are pretty set in life. Financially stable, mature, they know what they want, and then they come together to get married. Comes the torah and says a person 18 should get married, so I guess the girl would be 16. At this stage, the person is probably not fully mature, and we ask him to take the financial burden, have kids, hold a marriage. How does this make sense? the answer is when we are still at this a person is growing. As the husband and wife get older they grow into like the pasuk says ויהיו לבשר אחד. The flip side when someone is 30 they are more set in their way. When when you are young you mold into that one person. We see Jewish marriage is something not subjugated to laws of nature. When we follow in hashem path he is pumping love and his blessing into the marriage. 

Hope everyone can gain from this. Feel free to share your thoughts​

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 04:22 #394988

  • horizon
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 205
  • Karma: 11
OivedElokim wrote on 25 Apr 2023 23:08:

However, it's still a struggle for me. The concept of monogamy in general is a hard pill to swallow (many people with beautiful wives still cheat and watch porn etc) , and it's especially when it's not with the most gorgeous woman known to man. I would be interested to hear the oilam's input, especially those of you that are married. I imagine this has probably been hashed out in some older threads, but I'd like to reopen the conversation.

My question is: How does one come to terms with the fact that you have only one kosher sexual outlet in life, which is an average looking woman?


not married, but imput i got. you can choose to take it, or leave it in the vast world of the gye forums...
you bring up two points:
1. should you marry someone who's 'an average looking woman'.
2. how to deal with the concept of monogamy (good word bro!) in general.

al rishon rishon: i believe a wife has to be מצאה חן בעיניו. if you cant stand your wife's nose l'mashal, then i dont think it fits that criteria. doesnt mean somethings wrong w her, and על טעם וריח אין להתווכח, but for you it cant work.
that being said, some above made a very strong point that when you get to know someone you see them differently. i heard a nice story from yonasan shvartz on that regard: a rav told him that after he initially met his then future wife, she went home and complained to her father, how come you set me up w a redhead? her father replied that he didnt see a problem with it, but if it bother her she doesnt have to continue. she answered that once they met she'll give it a shot, and they live happily ever after...

as per your second point, i think its important to clarify that its a second, totally separate issue. as you pointed out, people w beautiful wives still cheat and watch porn. (i have a hard time believing that having a prettier wife reduces the chances for these things. plus theres always the prospect of מים גנובים)
food for thought: iv'e heard that its scientifically proven that the most fulfilling and pleasurable sex, is when its between two people who are in love, and have a real relationship w each other.
and its definitely so al pi torah, ודיבק באשתו

anyway whatever happens, hatzlacha navigating this parsha

טאטע טאטע טאטע איך וויל זיין, יא איך וויל זיין, א ירא שמים

my forum

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 05:18 #394992

  • i-man
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 585
  • Karma: 61
OivedElokim wrote on 25 Apr 2023 23:08:
Day 3
Went on my first date, went pretty well BH. I have several reasons to think that it's not gonna work for me, but I'm keeping an open mind and am going forward with a second date. We'll see how it goes...

I won't get into the details of the date, except for one thing that is directly relevant to GYE and the fight we're all in here:

After over a decade of being steeped in the lustful imagery so prevalent in our modern, decadent culture, the "Looks Factor" really holds a lot of sway over me. She's not ugly but she ain't pretty either...

Before everyone pounces on me: I may be lustful but I'm not delusional. I don't think any frum girl (who shares my values and connects with me emotionally/romantically) will ever hold a candle to the supermodels and p-stars that I've been flooding my vision and imagination with over the past 12 years or so. If I do end up with a very pretty girl it will be sheer luck, or hashgacha. Whatever. I've noticed that (in real life, not in lengire ads) pretty women are pretty rare (pardon the pun)...

However, it's still a struggle for me. The concept of monogamy in general is a hard pill to swallow (many people with beautiful wives still cheat and watch porn etc) , and it's especially when it's not with the most gorgeous woman known to man. I would be interested to hear the oilam's input, especially those of you that are married. I imagine this has probably been hashed out in some older threads, but I'd like to reopen the conversation.

My question is: How does one come to terms with the fact that you have only one kosher sexual outlet in life, which is an average looking woman?

I feel like it's easier for a bochur that struggles with this because he's not committed to anyone else but himself. Marriage probably makes things much harder...

Thanks for reading. I hope this post sparks respectful dialogue (and not people shooting angrily from the hip).
Anyways, all the best!

OivedElokim

I disagree , there are plenty of beautiful Frum girls ( as I’m sure most of the fellows on this forum can attest to) okay maybe most won’t check all the boxes of  particular physical features we overindulged in via media/porn, but that’s not realistic. 
I will point out that no credible Rav or rebbe will tell a Talmud to marry someone who they aren’t physically attracted to, so hopefully you have someone you can turn to for guidance on these important decisions. Hatzlacha 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 23:29 #395035

  • eerie
  • Current streak: 846 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1589
If I may add my two cents to the very beautiful posts above. I found it interesting to hear the perspective of a few unmarried guys, but can ask you all, what is marriage? One thing for certain, the idea of "it is not good for man to be alone" does not mean that we get married to have a sexual outlet. Marriage is a relationship, a heartfelt connection unlike any you have experienced in your life, where two people commit to live their lives together, cry together, celebrate together. When they grow together there will be growing pains, and they'll do that together, too. Someone above mentioned about people getting bored after time goes on. My friends, in a real, healthy marriage the relationship gets deeper and means more to each party as time goes on. Of course, these things take time and real effort, and sacrifice. When I say sacrifice I mean to sacrifice your silly self-serving nature. You learn to care, truly care, about someone else. It's all hard work, but this is what it is, and it is well worth it. There will come a day that beH that your relationship with your wife will mean everything in the world to you, you will feel something in your heart when she is nearby. In your heart, not your pants. That, my friends, is what you are in for. That is what you are looking for.
Of course, there should definitely be a physical attraction, because the way Hashem made us is that we need all our faculties to be in to build that relationship, and we can't get emotionally excited when our senses are repulsed. But we are NOT looking to create a porn show. So, while no frum Jewish girl looks like the stars we have seen on the screen, that should not be much of an issue. It's like saying, I'm looking for a secretary, and she is not drop-dead gorgeous, what should I do? What's the connection, right? Since when does a secretary have to be beautiful? She has to know how to answer phones, take messages, etc. Yes, your wife will be your sexual outlet, and intimacy is a part of the glue that brings you together, that helps you build your relationship, but you are not looking to create your own porn website in your bedroom. 
If you reassess, and refocus, I'm looking for someone that will build a relationship with me, one that will mean the world to me. I'm looking for someone who shares my values, who wants to build a life with me. Again, you should feel attracted to her, because that's a neccesary ingredient in this type of relationship. And that relationship will be meaningful to you even when al the beauty she has at 20 is long gone. 
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com
Last Edit: 26 Apr 2023 23:29 by eerie.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 26 Apr 2023 23:36 #395036

  • eerie
  • Current streak: 846 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1589
I would add, there are so many people in the world at large that suffer unhappiness in their sex lives because of their exposure to porn, and the expectation that they will experience something similar in the bedroom. You gotta learn the facts: Porn is fake. Porn is unnatural. Porn stars kill themselves because they do unnatural things, and they can't live with themselves. The women there do things that they detest, but they are getting paid. Stop thinking that the bedroom of any sane, healthy human being looks anything like what goes on in the screen. You are no porn star, and neither will she be. Learn what real intimacy is supposed to be, learn that the real enjoyment is connecting to someone on such a deep level, in caring about someone so deeply. And then you will see that the girl that stands before you may be a perfect candidate.
hatzlacha on all your dates! May Hashem be with you!
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 27 Apr 2023 01:11 #395039

OivedElokim wrote on 25 Apr 2023 23:08:
Day 3
Went on my first date, went pretty well BH. I have several reasons to think that it's not gonna work for me, but I'm keeping an open mind and am going forward with a second date. We'll see how it goes...

I won't get into the details of the date, except for one thing that is directly relevant to GYE and the fight we're all in here:

After over a decade of being steeped in the lustful imagery so prevalent in our modern, decadent culture, the "Looks Factor" really holds a lot of sway over me. She's not ugly but she ain't pretty either...

Before everyone pounces on me: I may be lustful but I'm not delusional. I don't think any frum girl (who shares my values and connects with me emotionally/romantically) will ever hold a candle to the supermodels and p-stars that I've been flooding my vision and imagination with over the past 12 years or so. If I do end up with a very pretty girl it will be sheer luck, or hashgacha. Whatever. I've noticed that (in real life, not in lengire ads) pretty women are pretty rare (pardon the pun)...

However, it's still a struggle for me. The concept of monogamy in general is a hard pill to swallow (many people with beautiful wives still cheat and watch porn etc) , and it's especially when it's not with the most gorgeous woman known to man. I would be interested to hear the oilam's input, especially those of you that are married. I imagine this has probably been hashed out in some older threads, but I'd like to reopen the conversation.

My question is: How does one come to terms with the fact that you have only one kosher sexual outlet in life, which is an average looking woman?

I feel like it's easier for a bochur that struggles with this because he's not committed to anyone else but himself. Marriage probably makes things much harder...

Thanks for reading. I hope this post sparks respectful dialogue (and not people shooting angrily from the hip).
Anyways, all the best!

OivedElokim

I heard this from a local Rabbi, hopefully I'm telling it over correctly, I'm still figuring it out myself while I'm dating.He said that no picture can quite capture the tinkle in someone's eye, or their radiant smile. When you interact with someone, and get to know them, you start to appreciate these things about them more, it shapes how you view and perceive them. Although on paper, their body size may not match up to whatever exacting standards that we may have from porn, there are qualities and features don't exist on paper, they only come out when you are dating and get married. I don't think 'twinkle in someone's eye' is a common search term on porn websites, but I think many people in a solid relationship will get pleasure in seeing that twinkle in their spouses' eye. (Eye/ eyes?)It's probably true of other non physical characteristics as well. We might make up a list of 10 things we want in a person and someone may only have 7 or 8, but the more you get to know them, the more you appreciate those 7 or 8 qualities, and realise that a relationship isn't about ticking off lists of top 10s.I don't think physical attraction is unimportant, I don't think you ignore it entirely, but I heard from a different rabbi that if her looks don't bother you, even if they aren't amazing, then it shouldn't be an issue. I think it is probably related to this point, that as a relationship develops, it will start to shape how you appreciate the features and qualities (both physical and non physical) this girl has.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 27 Apr 2023 02:32 #395042

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
  • Current streak: 1166 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 179
Thank you for your genuine post, OivedElokim.
The longer it's been since a person quit lusting, the more beautiful real women will be to him.
Someone who guards his eyes and mind carefully (by simply moving on to the next task at hand when a lustful thought or image comes by) will come to actually find a very large percentage of frum women to be very physically beautiful, and I'm not exaggerating. We actually have that much control over what the bar is for beauty in our mind. On the contrary, you can actually reach a level where you will find tzanua, frum women to be very beautiful and prutzos to be disgusting. Do not think for a second that such a level is beyond your reach. I assure you it is within your reach if you guard your eyes, train your mind to move on from lustful thoughts, and daven for Hashem's help in it.
Hatzlacho.
Remember, lust is the killer.
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.
Last Edit: 27 Apr 2023 02:33 by 5Uu80*cdwB#^.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 27 Apr 2023 17:02 #395068

  • monseyyid41
  • Current streak: 95 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 103
  • Karma: 11
Eerie wrote on 26 Apr 2023 23:29:
If I may add my two cents to the very beautiful posts above. I found it interesting to hear the perspective of a few unmarried guys, but can ask you all, what is marriage? One thing for certain, the idea of "it is not good for man to be alone" does not mean that we get married to have a sexual outlet. Marriage is a relationship, a heartfelt connection unlike any you have experienced in your life, where two people commit to live their lives together, cry together, celebrate together. When they grow together there will be growing pains, and they'll do that together, too. Someone above mentioned about people getting bored after time goes on. My friends, in a real, healthy marriage the relationship gets deeper and means more to each party as time goes on. Of course, these things take time and real effort, and sacrifice. When I say sacrifice I mean to sacrifice your silly self-serving nature. You learn to care, truly care, about someone else. It's all hard work, but this is what it is, and it is well worth it. There will come a day that beH that your relationship with your wife will mean everything in the world to you, you will feel something in your heart when she is nearby. In your heart, not your pants. That, my friends, is what you are in for. That is what you are looking for.
Of course, there should definitely be a physical attraction, because the way Hashem made us is that we need all our faculties to be in to build that relationship, and we can't get emotionally excited when our senses are repulsed. But we are NOT looking to create a porn show. So, while no frum Jewish girl looks like the stars we have seen on the screen, that should not be much of an issue. It's like saying, I'm looking for a secretary, and she is not drop-dead gorgeous, what should I do? What's the connection, right? Since when does a secretary have to be beautiful? She has to know how to answer phones, take messages, etc. Yes, your wife will be your sexual outlet, and intimacy is a part of the glue that brings you together, that helps you build your relationship, but you are not looking to create your own porn website in your bedroom. 
If you reassess, and refocus, I'm looking for someone that will build a relationship with me, one that will mean the world to me. I'm looking for someone who shares my values, who wants to build a life with me. Again, you should feel attracted to her, because that's a neccesary ingredient in this type of relationship. And that relationship will be meaningful to you even when al the beauty she has at 20 is long gone. 

It's hard to believe that a single post can contain so much truth and wisdom. I would like to suggest that, for the married members who have taken  upon themselves to read a chapter a day from "The Battle Of Our Generation", maybe add on one sentence a day from this post. For any Bochurim out there who are looking for a clear, articulate, and meaningful understanding of what marriage is actually about, you've just found it.  
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 00:45 #395980

  • oivedelokim
  • Current streak: 57 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 775
  • Karma: 105
Goodbye Post

Hey everyone. I feel bad that I left for so long without an update (I don't like it when other people do it...) so here goes:

My faith crisis has been worsening and it ended up affecting my practical behavior, though not on a massive scale. At least it hasn't yet.

I don't believe in Judaism anymore. At all.

I will not go into why or how that happened here, as this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of talk.
I will just say that my loss of faith is deeply saddening to me and I don't know where to go from here. I sincerely wish it didn't happen.

And no, please do not bombard me with Kiruv arguements and give me shiurim to listen to. I've been through all of that already. It has not worked.

I plan to continue working on my porn and masturbation habits but not from a religious point of view. I therefore don't think that GYE is the place for me to try to do so. I'm really grateful to all of you for the help and concern and advice you've shared with me over my 7 years here. I've made many good friends here and I hope to continue to keep in touch with them, if they're willing to.

I'll probably continue to lurk and engage with the friends I met here offline, but don't expect to read any inspiring Chizuk posts from me anymore. I'm done with GYE. At least until the day I do Teshuva (doesn't look like it'll be happening soon so don't hold your breath).

הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין (רמב"ם הלכות תשובה)
I guess we'll see about that. Till then, farewell! I love you guys....

With a heavy heart,
OivedElokim
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 00:52 #395983

  • sapy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 533
  • Karma: 53
I will admit that this post saddened me.

I wish you sincerely the best in all your ways.

Hope you find menuchas hanefesh and a meaningful life. 

Was nice to spend some time with you the past few years, and I'll be happy to hear how your doing anytime.

All the best, it's hard to say Goodbye....

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 01:01 #395985

  • richtig
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 561
  • Karma: 30
OivedElokim wrote on 22 May 2023 00:45:
Goodbye Post

Hey everyone. I feel bad that I left for so long without an update (I don't like it when other people do it...) so here goes:

My faith crisis has been worsening and it ended up affecting my practical behavior, though not on a massive scale. At least it hasn't yet.

I don't believe in Judaism anymore. At all.

I will not go into why or how that happened here, as this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of talk.
I will just say that my loss of faith is deeply saddening to me and I don't know where to go from here. I sincerely wish it didn't happen.

And no, please do not bombard me with Kiruv arguements and give me shiurim to listen to. I've been through all of that already. It has not worked.

I plan to continue working on my porn and masturbation habits but not from a religious point of view. I therefore don't think that GYE is the place for me to try to do so. I'm really grateful to all of you for the help and concern and advice you've shared with me over my 7 years here. I've made many good friends here and I hope to continue to keep in touch with them, if they're willing to.

I'll probably continue to lurk and engage with the friends I met here offline, but don't expect to read any inspiring Chizuk posts from me anymore. I'm done with GYE. At least until the day I do Teshuva (doesn't look like it'll be happening soon so don't hold your breath).

הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין (רמב"ם הלכות תשובה)
I guess we'll see about that. Till then, farewell! I love you guys....

With a heavy heart,
OivedElokim

Oived, I myself am new here, and not totally familiar with the norms of GYE, but I have been thinking that my own "journey" in getting past porn and masturbation need not be a religious one. It is certainly an issue in the world at large as well, and they have reasons to quit besides for frumkeit. I think those reasons, or whatever personal reasons you or I may have, are worth considering. For me, frumkeit is not at the top of my list of personal motivations to stop, although I am a regular frum guy. I think this issue is primarily one of derech eretz (which is universal and not limited to the faith community), and then torah.
beryl4307@gmail.com
"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)
Last Edit: 22 May 2023 01:05 by richtig.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 03:43 #395991

  • eyes
  • Current streak: 137 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 340
  • Karma: 30

DEAR OE,
My heart is crying.
Although will not probe for details.
Every time I came on to GYE, I was hoping to find a post from you.

To me you were and will always be a source of light and hope.

I am sending a huge hug your way. 

I am sure that we will one day meet up. 

All the best 

EYES

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 05:12 #395995

OivedElokim wrote on 22 May 2023 00:45:
Goodbye Post

Hey everyone. I feel bad that I left for so long without an update (I don't like it when other people do it...) so here goes:

My faith crisis has been worsening and it ended up affecting my practical behavior, though not on a massive scale. At least it hasn't yet.

I don't believe in Judaism anymore. At all.

I will not go into why or how that happened here, as this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of talk.
I will just say that my loss of faith is deeply saddening to me and I don't know where to go from here. I sincerely wish it didn't happen.

And no, please do not bombard me with Kiruv arguements and give me shiurim to listen to. I've been through all of that already. It has not worked.

I plan to continue working on my porn and masturbation habits but not from a religious point of view. I therefore don't think that GYE is the place for me to try to do so. I'm really grateful to all of you for the help and concern and advice you've shared with me over my 7 years here. I've made many good friends here and I hope to continue to keep in touch with them, if they're willing to.

I'll probably continue to lurk and engage with the friends I met here offline, but don't expect to read any inspiring Chizuk posts from me anymore. I'm done with GYE. At least until the day I do Teshuva (doesn't look like it'll be happening soon so don't hold your breath).

הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין (רמב"ם הלכות תשובה)
I guess we'll see about that. Till then, farewell! I love you guys....

With a heavy heart,
OivedElokim

Dear OE!

I am sure you went through something very stressful and it’s not you writing this post, it’s for sure someone else. When someone is stressed and going through something, he’s not acting himself. I understand the person wrote this post and I am sure it’s not you it’s the stressed person. Sooner or later he’ll feel better. It’s a matter of time.

I love you with all my heart and soul!
Give it a chance.

Trying The Best! You'll become the best!

I can be reached at 1tryingthebest@gmail.com, 929-500-1185 (google voice number)
Reply Topic
New Topic
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
On the Way to 90-Days
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.87 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes