Day 27 - I'm okay so far. Can't belive 27 days without porn including tiktok and other social sites. Urge is still there but lower. I've looked away a couple times when on the street. A few times didn't. Still need to work on that. I know it's silly but I feel a bit more spiritual. Need to work on davening. That's another whole site.. I highly recommend posting it keeps you grounded and others assisting really helps even for that pat on the back. I hope I can do 90. Keeping busy with work definitely helps. Still need to find other outlets.

Thanx for the post! I just want to say that posting doesn't just hold one accountable but is mechazek others in ways you can't imagine. I personally get so inspired when reading a post like this. So please don't let me down ) hatzlacha!!! 

.                         Grant

Amazing, it was really encouraging and energizing reading this thread :grin:keep at it!

Day 30 - It's day 30 and it is an accomplishment. I thought or I had hoped I would feel more spiritual. But I don't feel holy. Leave it to the yetzer harah to find anything to dim the moment. I need to find an easy fix for the common triggers like stress, getting down and if I don't, I feel there will always be a door open here to sin. I know people say excercise and all sorts of things but work or things to do always seem to get in the way. I'm already up at 3/4am, do my learning, work till 6/7pm, eat supper, and then maybe watch a little TV to unwind and then I'm done for the day. I need to figure out how to make something work.

bitochonGYE wrote on 14 Jul 2020 07:06:

I heard a great joke that deals with this:
There was once a lady that came to her rav and told him that its not right- the men get to do all the mitzvos and the women barely get any. She wants to be holy and get the chance do the mitzvos. The rav thinks for a little and hands her a 4 cornered garment and says, lets start you off slowly, first wear this for a week then come back and we'll add tzitzis. The women returns after a week and exclaims how amazing her week was, how kadosh and spiritually uplifted she felt. The rav responds "chachom a 4 cornered garment doesnt mean anything and theres you can no way feel spiritually holier. If anything, if you were actually chayiv then you actually wouldve been doing a issur the whole week of wearing a 4 cornered garment without tzitis and you so called "felt holy"."
The morale of the story is that "feeling holy" isnt really something that we can be in touch with.  Its hard to feel something you dont know what it is. Im sure in the next world theres loads and loads of kedusha and schar waiting for those 30 days. As you said its probably the yetzer trying to get to you. 
The 30 days is something that you SHOULD be proud of and feel good about accomplishing it. Maybe try to reward yourself and "force" yourself to feel happy about what you accomplished so your mind builds up a chashivus(hachitzonios meorer es hapnimios). 
Hatzlacha and keep pounding!

This is a great point. But I want to add one idea. This is only naturally, that naturally it's hard to know whether you'll feel holy or not and whether it is accurate or just your imagination. But there is a way to actually feel it and know that it's true. There is a way to actually feel that you are accomplishing and you are becoming holy and to know that it is true. That is by learning about the great feat that it is to overcome the yetzer hora in this area: by learning actual teachings of Chazal that stress its greatness.
Two resources that help me achieve this feeling are the book The Battle of the Generation, and Rabbi Shafier's lecture series The Fight. See the links below in my signature. Try a little of both for 15 days and you will see a clear difference. 
Hatzlocha!

This is a great thread.  i'm so impressed with how hard you are working.  Keep this up and you'll achieve level that you never thought you could.  There will be lots of ups and downs.  But keep getting up. 

Day 39 -

I failed again.

I think this was the longest I made it without social apps.

In any case it was a crappy Sunday and I was in a mood. Corona needs to lft so people can do things.  I'm not sure what set me in motion. It was probably because I was watching a regular clean TV show. I won't lie the girl was pretty. I think another part of the issues is when guys talk about girls but that's another subject.

I started looking up her profile and that was it. Needles, to say I just could not get the desire out of my mind. By the time Monday came around I had everything uninstalled, unblocked and every app installed.

I don't know what to say. I just feel this is a hopeless cause. I don't feel like I can do it forever. The temptation is so great and its all around. Yes, I can see myself doing longer streaks. But without cutting myself off totally from any media (which I can't do) I don't see how I can do it. 

I guess I will start again.   : (

bitochonGYE wrote on 21 Jul 2020 08:58:

No such thing!

You keep fighting, you keep growing, that's the way it is! You may not be able to see this right after a fall but you are way ahead of where you were before, keep it up.

One day at a time! no one said you have to throw anything away for good, it takes time, give it that time. 

Looking forward to hearing good news!

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup

Thanks for the positive message. 

same here i just restarted the counter and its really weighing down on e that i dont keep my act together

I guess all we can do is try. 

Yes we can all try together. Because every struggle is a struggle for all of us, and every success is a success for everyone, because we're in this together.

Beautiful way to view that!

Just a question: You wrote that you unblocked everything when you decided to view this actresses profile. Does that mean you broke through the filters or you have the passwords? Because if it's the latter there's a simple solution to that...