Thanks! That's an awesome nugget. I totally find sometimes I am way more down on myself than the people surrounding me, so this is a great reminder!

Keep up the great work!

Day 80: Ok day BH. Was pretty tired though. Turns out I don't have no need to sleep super powers. Quick maariv and then maybe I can still catch the midnight train. Or at least get someone in the open car on the back to give me a hand and pull me on. That is a reference to yesterday's daily boost. Yes, that was a Segway to plug the boosts. They are awesome and really help me keep the right perspective. Highly recommend signing up to get them on WhatsApp. Also, big yasher koach to everyone who makes em possible. Ok, nuff said. Have an awesome night people!

Day 81: I didn't go to minyan today or do my learning after davening. I actually got up on time, but was just feeling to stressed to leave the house. I ended up meditating and journaling and then just davening at home. I also decided to work remotely instead of going into the office. Felt like I needed the quiet and privacy. Not happy that I missed minyan etc. but I think it may have been necessary. Missing one day out of about two weeks ain't bad though. Especially for a notorious minyan skipper like me. I'll be back tomorrow IYH. 

Had an OK day at work BH. Other things I did today: Therapy, small grocery shopping, some tidying up. I also did my daily exercise which is good. Been good with that lately BH. I always feel better when I do it. Not even the actual effect of the exercise per se. More about that I feel like I'm doing the right thing by trying to take care of my body a bit. 

Another random thing: I've been known to enjoy sipping a Scotch or whiskey in the evening. After a long day at work it's a satisfying drink indeed. However, I realized that it's just an easy way to relax but it doesn't actually reduce stress. Just masks it. So instead of doing harder things that would actually reduce my stress levels, I would just cover it up. Thing is, it creeps up on you. Like I think this contributed to me feeling like I needed a time out this morning. I wasn't really dealing with my stress adequately in the previous days. Skipping meditation, journaling etc in favor of scotch. Ok, not really sure what I'm saying so I'll stop rambling. 

I knknow I'm sounding like a broken record, but thanks GYE for the daily boosts, they help me alot! Ok ,havea great night y'all!

Ihavestrength wrote on 24 Jul 2020 03:21:

And thank you for your daily boost. I appreciate it!

Just read through your thread, all 10 pages.  You are doing amazing work and a true inspiration.  Keep the inspiration coming!

Day 82 and 83: Thank G-d, nice shabbos overall. Video calling is great. Much closer to seeing people than just talking on the phone alone. One good thing bout corona is I got used to using it alot more. Long shabbos afternoon. Ok, my eyes are sorta hurting so gonna end it here for now. Have a great week y'all!

Day 84: Toughish day. Decently productive, but dealing with some difficult emotions. Having a hard time forgetting about a girl I dated. They say time is supposed to heal ya, but as they say, "I ain't done much healin". Oy, shidduchim ain't that fun. It appears that like most things in life, getting married is no exception and requires significant effort  

I've got more to say but I'm falling asleep here. Ok, quick maariv and into bed before it's way late. Shucks, I think it's too late for that already (no pun intended, ok, maybe I just lied). 

Good night!

Days 85-88: Needed a couple days off without posting. Needed to get this topic off my mind. Not that I was specifically lusting or anything. Just was pretty stressed and I felt like even remembering this area of struggle as an option for stress relief was not gonna help. It's the great irony which many on GYE are aware of. You don't think about your problems, it's hard to progress etc. You think too much about your problems, you become your problems. The answer I guess is balance. Knowing when to think, knowing when to sleep  

Ok, anyways, fine Tisha B'av so far. As fine as Tisha B'av can be I guess. Not a huge fan of the yom tov  

Ok, nuff ramblin for one day. Have an easy fast y'all and keep rocking!

Day 89: Ok day so far BH. Looking forward to a nice shabbos Bezh.

I'm sort of at a loss of words today, so just going to wish everyone a great and peaceful shabbos!

Day 90: Ok, so here we are. Day 90. Big day, eh? This 90 day journey began on May 4. So, May, June, July. Now we're in August. Or, yud iyyar. So Iyyar, Sivan, Tamuz. Now we're in Av. Quite a bit of time on one hand, on the other, just a parcel. 

It's actually been a pretty rough 3 months. Not really in terms of urges, although obviously there have been some tough moments. More in terms of life generally. It's been a pretty tough period of time. Coronavirus generally made things tough for everyone, and I was no exception. Total disruption to our sense of normalcy. But personally as well, these haven't been easy months.

Growth was present though, that's for damn sure. Unfortunately, it seems that through the path to growth is composed of pain, and there is no alternate route. I thank G-d for the growth, and pray for him to remove the pain. I pray that he molds together the pieces of glass of my shattered dreams. 

It's hard to see movement and growth. This is partly because it happens gradually. Like how we don't notice that we are getting older. It's sort of the same with recovering from tough times and situations. We are getting better, healing and so forth. It's gradual though, so we can feel like we aren't getting any better, that we haven't been able to move on. 

Grateful to Hashem for helping me reach this point. Grateful to all of you for commenting and giving me support and feedback. 

I'm going to close out this thread for now. I'd like to keep it as a small book about this particular 90 day journey. I'll do one last post here IY'H tomorrow where I'll try to mention some things which worked for me.

Thanks again everyone for being with me along the way! Wishing everyone an awesome and excellent week!

MAZAL TOV!!!!! ASHRECHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so, so happy for you that you reached this incredible milestone! May you go from strength to strength. Higher and higher!

Mazal Tov,

It must feel really good seeing that 90 up there. I am getting inspired just looking at it!

Don't leave us after this, we need you here.

Hatzlachah,
wilnevergiveup

Please don't close the thread. Keep it alive - it will be a chizuk to newcomers who wont automatically search for old threads. Of course the choice is yours - just asking.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 02 Aug 2020 19:32:

Ain't going anywhere, just probably won't post on this thread  

Hashem Help Me wrote on 02 Aug 2020 22:19:

I hear you, but I don't think I can post on this thread going forward. However, I'll link to it in my signature along with my other thread