Hi everyone!

First joined gye 6 years ago. Had my ups and downs, then broke free and had a really good year+ of staying clean! Been a slippery slope for a while now and got back in a rut.

I've resolved to stop again and I've logged back on here to get some chizuk, read some of my own advice I wrote years ago, and track my journey. It's been about a month but I didn't make an exact note of my first clean day, so I've put the beginning of the calendar year as my start. Almost a third of the way to 90 days!

Starting this thread to keep track, feel free to drop a comment with some chizuk or advice! Thanks gye for being here - let's do this together!

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 22 Jan 2020 12:04:

One piece of advice: you can only get to 90, one day at a time

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 22 Jan 2020 12:04:

(sorry for the duplicate post)
One piece of advice: you can only get to 90, one day at a time 
we are all here to cheer you on your road to success with Hashem's help...
please keep up posted on your progress.

I'll add some words of chizzuk...
חזק חזק ונתחזק
The path for growth is small steps. We can explain that this is hinted
at in the three expressions of chizuk. The first is, ויתחזק... וישב על המטה , to sit up. Then there's standing up, as we do when we say, חזק חזק ונתחזק . And Dovid HaMelech told Shlomo, ,וחזקת.. ללכת בדרכיו
"Make yourself strong…to go in His ways." This hints to the gradual growth
of sitting up, standing up, and then walking. Similarly, we should seek to
grow by taking small steps at a time.

Rebbe Aharon Chernobyler
zt'l taught the meaning of חזק חזק ונתחזק If a person strengthens himself once and then he fails, and he strengthens himself a second time, and he fails again. He keeps on trying and the result will be, ונתחזק Hashem will
help him succeed.

Welcome back. Maybe share with us how you accomplished that year.

Thanks for the Chizuk!

In terms of accomplishing that year+... I did write a post on here with the things I felt helped the most. Thinking back again here are a couple things that come to mind...

• The resolve to conquer this once and for all. That's what got me started last time and again now. To decide with passion that this is it and to mean it!
• Distancing yourself from ways you know you start to slip. Having your phone in the bathroom was a big one for me. Everyone has got to judge for themselves but understanding my weak points and staying away from them is definitely a big point.
• The 90 days goal is really useful simply to work towards something. It's amazing to reach a goal - and then set another one! Really helps keep you motivated.

Definitely using myself for advice here! Good stuff to think about. 

Still clean with Hashems help! Will keep updating. Thanks everyone.

Thank you! I'm rooting for you!

Hi everyone / anyone reading this? Lol... Either way posting to keep this thread updated.

Still clean. I've slipped and watched a little of what I shouldn't but didn't act out and that's a win in my book. 1 month free from acting out! That's a third of the way to 90 days! 

So excited to be here. Thanking Hashem for helping me and gonna keep going! I think I've got to put in double work now as it gets harder and more tempting - the classic yetzer hora keeps saying "so you're really never gonna watch porn again? Come on... You'll do it again eventually... What's the difference?" And to fight that is continuously more and more difficult. So please leave some chizuk below if you've got any, and for my part I'm going to refocus on consciously fighting and not becoming complacent.

Next stop 2 months!
S

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 30 Jan 2020 02:03:

Of course!
many are reading this and getting inspired... you have no idea how big of a zechus you have to be mezake es horabim...
keep on going and keep us posted on your amazing journey.

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 30 Jan 2020 02:03:


I just want to commend you for what you said, "I've slipped and watched a little of what I shouldn't but didn't act out and that's a win in my book." You are the specialist on your life and you are the one who gets to make the call on what is and what isn't a win. Great going! You inspired me!

Thank you! That means alot. Hope to continue to inspire and gain inspiration from all of you!I

Thank you. I definitely feel it's an individual thing. And if you draw the line too high and you're consistently falling, it kills the motivation and gets more and more difficult to get back up. So for me, I know my yetzer hora will use porn to get me to act out. The inherent addiction for me at the moment is not in watching, it's in acting out. So if I can break free of that addiction, my desire to watch porn goes down alot. So when I slipped and started watching and then exited, for me that was a massive win and I'm proud of that.

Of course I'm not condoning watching it, nor do I want to continue. There are other reasons I want to stop watching and I'm fighting that too. Just in this case for me I felt it was important to take the win and not count a fall.

It's the 35th day 1! 35 days clean. One day at a time.

Just checking in. Not finding it so easy. Need to focus more on the root of my tayvah, figure out when I start to become tempted and how I can better prevent myself being in that scenario in the first place. Something to think about.

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 05 Feb 2020 03:34:

Way to go!

Good to have you hear! We all ready the posts, and sometimes the people who don't comment and you don't know are the ones who needed to see it most!

Please keep coming back to post and to update us! 

I am rooting for you! One day at a time and don't worry about the Y''h "forever." Live every day like its your last.

For me what was helpful was stopping P@#n no matter what. I worried lesss about mz''l in the beginning and made sure my devices were filtered. BH I am now back up to 62 days. Oh yeah, and also try not to focus on the streak as much as counting one more day...(and then take a little satisfaction in knowing how far you are in days)

All the best!
-Your fellow GYE chaver

I had a really good chat with a fellow GYE user yesterday, and wrote something I felt was deserving of posting here too. 

On yesterdays daf in Daf Yomi it discusses that Moshe ‘accused’ Hashem for causing us to sin. And (though I’m sure this is a MUCH deeper concept than i learnt it, as well as beyond the scope of this short chat), the Gemara says Hashem agreed. So its definitely something worth remembering, and something i think about a lot - Hashem runs the world. He created us. He loves us. And HE gives us these tests. He’s well aware of how difficult they are. And he just wants us to grow. And succeed. So every step we take he cheers us on.
And perhaps most importantly, he knows we can succeed. He wouldn’t give us the challenge otherwise. That’s an amazing concept! The creator of heaven and earth, believes - in us!

Such an incredible concept to remember. And not something I’d have expressed if not for the prompt of discussion with a friend on GYE. Which brings me to another point I mentioned - I feel like it’s as we learn with tfillah, that if you daven for someone else its a zchus for you - likewise being there for others with this struggle really strengthens you more than many realise. 

Just leaving these thoughts here! Stay strong everyone.

הֹדוּ לַה׳ כִּי טוֹב, כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ
So excited! I've reached 40 days clean. Especially since I really wasn't actively trying to stay clean before this attempt, I'm really proud that with Hashems help I've made it almost halfway to 90!

Thank you all of you for being here for me, let's keep on supporting each other and doing our best. That's all Hashem asks of us!