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My first bein hazmanim clean
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My first bein hazmanim clean 6264 Views

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 19 Aug 2019 18:57 #342933

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How about reading 2-3 pages every night from an inspiring book or ebook on Shmiras Einayim? You can check out GYE's full selection here: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks . My favorite is The Battle of the Generation: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 20 Aug 2019 04:20 #342951

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Aye captain. Thanks for the idea. I actually have a seder in the sefer v'hoer eineinu but actually wanted to read the one you suggested bc I've seen it recommended here many times. So maybe I'll take your idea... But I still need a push to make the kabalah so we'll see

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 20 Aug 2019 17:20 #342982

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Maybe you want to make a kabalah for just three days (make it really easy, like 1-2 pages) and then see whether you want to make a longer kabalah.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 20 Aug 2019 22:15 #342989

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I'll do 2 pages for today and tomorrow and take it from there. What happens a lot is, I remember about my kabalah when I'm ready to go to sleep and if I have too much to do I may end up not doing any of it. So far I did my daf right before going to bed or sometimes even in bed most nights... I'm going to try for today's daf to do it earlier so I'll be able to read also.  

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 21 Aug 2019 03:21 #342992

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Great! We're all inspired by your success and rooting for you!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 25 Aug 2019 13:13 #343080

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I never believed it possible for me to still be clean 2 weeks in to bein hazmanim being that I'm out and around and there are triggers everywhere, however my real test is this week bc I plan to go away this week (hopefully nowhere too pritzusdik but anywhere and everywhere is except the beis medrash...). For this I need extreme extreme vigilance not to get sucked in to lusting since there is no time to recover between one attack and the next. Normally in the worst case scenario that I'm out and lust, when I get back to the relative safety of the indoors I could work to get back on track, but when I'm away and out all day I don't have such a luxury of lusting even a drop bc I won't be able to get back on track and I'll run the risk of falling all the way... Hashem should protect me and all of us on GYE and gantz klal yisroel amen

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 26 Aug 2019 12:58 #343114

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That's very good that you are aware that you will be entering a challenging situation.  Please keep posting daily updates.  Know that we are behind you every step of the way. 

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 27 Aug 2019 05:55 #343146

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IHi y'all. Holding at day 46 boruch Hashem. I just picked up on a tactic the Yetzer hora uses on me and I'd like to share it. Everyone is always saying that the first look is not our fault, not looking away is. However my Yetzer hora comes to me even where I know there's pritzus but have not seen it and tells me you could glance over there bc the first look is not your fault. This is quite obviously patently false bc the "heter" of the first glance is only where it was unavoidable however this trick of his was a bit effective over the course of the day so I'm speaking it out in an effort to expose this thought process for what it is: a plot by the Yetzer hora to get me to look e hopefully through this I won't fall for it next time.
Last Edit: 27 Aug 2019 05:58 by Street.

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 27 Aug 2019 22:11 #343163

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Street, you are an amazing inspiration for all of us!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 28 Aug 2019 00:47 #343169

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Agreed!!!
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Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 02 Sep 2019 03:56 #343317

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Immediately after I started this thread I got nervous that I should have added a question mark to the topic in case I don't make it through bein hazmanim clean. Boruch Hashem that wasn't necessary, and this bein hazmanim was amazing compared to last year when I went all kinds of places that I didn't belong. The only difference between this year and last is that this year I'm on GYE and this forum. I must therefore give you'all here at GYE who have given me chizzuk over the summer a tremendous yasher koach. May you all be zoche to complete freedom from all taava and addiction. I plan to block my internet access for the Zman so goodbye to everyone and I hope to be in touch next time I get access. 

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 10 Oct 2019 20:16 #344146

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  Hi. I'm back for my second bein haZmanim clean bezras Hashem. I hope to make similar kabalos as last time but I don't have time now. Yom Kippur was day 90 on my count so I'm on the woh for now. I actually feel my motivation slipping a bit now that I hit 90... 

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 10 Oct 2019 21:59 #344147

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Well done on getting to 90 days.

Do not fixate on that number.

It is not about reaching 90 days, it is about staying clean each day.
Avoid counting - instead take it each day by day.

Regard each clean day as a great achievement.

Because it is.

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 11 Oct 2019 05:30 #344156

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Please realize that day 91 can be a challenge. Many guys get there and say "Now what?!" "When does this end?" WE have to realize that the challenge is here for life. However the rules have change. In the past it appeared I had no bechira to choose. Now however it is evident that I can iyh stay clean. So mazel tov on 90 and make sure to celebrate! And don't panic when the next tidal wave comes ……..
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My first bein hazmanim clean 13 Oct 2019 01:41 #344172

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The thing that I think helped keep me on track the most recently is the realization that I can obviously live without all this lusting like I've done for the past three months as you pointed out-Hashemhelpme.            
That being said I am having a bit of a struggle now. I don't think I'm holding by acting out as of now but I'm having a lot of attacks of flashbacks to things I've seen and it's creating a strong urge... Coupled with the added stress of erev Yom tov and bein haZmanim I'm nervous I may not last. The past two years after 40+ days clean from elul through Yom Kippur I fell sometime during succos. This was boruch Hashem I have over 90 day streak but I must be extremely vigilant bc now is a vey dangerous time. As always I would appreciate any tips or feedback.  
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