Hi Dave M

thanks for posting this! I did see this post when you put it up last week and it was really special to see. I’m amazed at the power of someone’s words and the affect they can have another. So thank you for letting me know.

The past sat couple of months have been rough with trying to get out of my slipping and I couldn’t get myself into the right mindset to just STOP.

BH, the last week or so has been good and I have stayed clean. I am just taking it day by day right now. I don’t feel like I can post like I did before although I know I should even if I fall again. Maybe after a little more of staying clean and feeling better about the struggle.

I have recommitted to not watching movies/tv as well. Thanks for the advice

So nice to hear from you again!  Gmar Chasima tova

I feel extremely hopeless right now. I keep trying and keep falling. I need more help. I wish that I had something better to post

It's great that you posted that.  Takes a lot of courage.  Why do you think you keep falling?  Are there any practical steps that you can take to put up stronger gadarim, such as a better filter?

Keep in mind that on the journey to recovery that will be alot of ups and downs.  As long as you don't give up, and keep trying, it will get easier, I"H.  Please keep posting.  A Gut Moed

The problem now is really my mindset. I think I’m at the point right now where I don’t want to quit as much as my yetzer hara wants to act out. 

During my last almost 30 days (which was by far the best feeling I had about this fight and longest I went clean) I had a much stronger will to quit. That will helped me overcome all the crazy urges ...

whats the soultion? Or is it just to fight harder with more resources. I get inspired to keep fighting and getting back up on and off over the past two weeks and am somewhat successful in the beginning and than a strong urge beats me down and give up

Baruch HaShem, I am 2 weeks clean today. I am extremely thankful to HaShem and all of those here that have continued to help me even when I have been down a little over the past months. I just read through the whole post of @Kedusha who is at 3900 days and counting.

Wowza!!! 

good shabbos all. I have missed you 

Thats great to hear!  It's nice to see you posting again. 

Great to have you back!
Keep it up,

Iwillnevergiveup 

Hi all- 

it’s been very long since I have been on and even longer since I posted. I had many ups and downs and mostly downs. But not discrediting my wins. 

I need to get back and serious about it and what better time than Elul. 

bli neder no tv/movies or twitter (access on work computer) as these are the biggest triggers and make the fight almost impossible. 

hoping to be more active and posting. 

Onceandforall wrote on 08 Sep 2024 15:14:

Shalom,

I'm a lot newer here, so I suppose instead of welcome I should say nice to meet you.

Sorry to hear about you struggles but it's great that you've not stopped working for and appreciating your ups.

May Hashem help you in the special month to achieve growth.

What do you plan to supplement your time with that you would have possibly spent on the activities you'd like to stay away from? 

Looking forward to hearing about your progress and wishing you much hatzlacha.

This will change your life, imho, joindafyomi.com - possibly.

Thanks both of you for your responses

I am iy"H will have more time to dedicate towards learning, which I really enjoy. I don't do the daf, but I have a few sedorim that I can put more time into. I also plan to be more productive on a side project at work which I have been pushing off. Hopefully this will help fill the free time.

But just posting that message two days ago helped me get through 2 or 3 fights that would certainly have led to falls only a week ago. Just posting for accountability and encouragement kept me off checking twitter twice, which could have led somewhere. 

To anyone reading this... just post. It's a step in the right direction!