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Wanting to give up

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TOPIC: Wanting to give up 4936 Views

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 06:42 #332883

Hank_Moody
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You may be right about all those things.
And again, I hope you're right.
I too FEEL that this is stealing. But I can't explain it to myself logically. Why is looking at a beautiful flower not stealing? Or at a beautiful sunset? Why is this different?
Yes, logic's never helped but I still want to be able to explain this to myself.
So would appreciate your further thoughts.
And re: desire to live. When i keep looking at other women, I feel that THIS is life. This is something I'm missing. This is something that would make me truly happy.

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 07:41 #332885

WannabeFree
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Hank_Moody wrote on 02 Jul 2018 06:42:

The only logic is that it is Hashem's will "Lo sosuru acharei levavchem ve'acharei eineichem". He put everything in the world and told us what we are allowed to enjoy and what is bad for us. And since he told us not to stray after our eyes we need to listen to him. I haven't worked the 12 steps, but at the end of it the message is that we have to surrender our desires to Hashem, which fits in very well with this. I think that the idea behind repeating the message/prayer every day is to internalize it so that eventually it becomes what we want.

השלך על השם יהבך והוא יכלכלך
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Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 09:32 #332887

lionking
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Appreciating something beautiful is not stealing. You are recognizing and thanking Hashem for his creations. The same can theoretically hold true for looking at woman. However, since "Ein Ro'eh, Lev Chomet" you are no longer thanking Hashem and appreciating the fact that He has created beautiful woman. Instead, most people would be checking them out and using the woman in their fantasies. That is Stealing, and Abusing.
Just my two cents.

My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 11:51 #332894

cordnoy
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Hank_Moody wrote on 02 Jul 2018 06:32:

Thank you very much for sharing.
I understand what you're saying and many people in SA that have been in the program for many years are saying the same things. That they are not battling but surrendered. I hope i'm wrong but right now to me that sounds a lot like self-dellusion. Because I see these men. See how tired they are. How unhappy they are. I hear their stories which are almost the same every time they speak. About their temptations, about wanting to keep looking at "toxic objects" etc. And nothing changes. Yes. They grow spiritually, which is great. Yes, maybe their urge is not as strong as it was, but it's still there. Even after 20 years. So for me, 12 steps are a great tool for growing spiritually, yes. But if it doesn't help you with the problem for which it is intended, I don't think it is right to call it efficient. It's like when you came to a dentist with a pain in your tooth and he made you a better person. Okay. But what about that tooth? Of course, I'll give time to the program, and see how it goes, but as of now, i have a lot of doubts about its efficiency regarding sex addiction. But again, hope i'm wrong.

Tired and unhappy? You might be hangin' around the wrong group!?

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

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Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 11:57 #332895

cordnoy
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Hank_Moody wrote on 02 Jul 2018 06:42:

And if you feel that your desire to live is to look at other women, then go for it!

(And, like I have said hundreds of times, I still look at women, but now I am livin', for I do not act out or think about it afterwards. Yes, there are many program people or mussar people, or a combination of both, who do not lookI, and kol hakavod to them, but I am livin' lifeI: I'm learnin', davanin', connectin' to God and to family, workin', playin', fatherin', husbandin', all with a true sense of happiness.)

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

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Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 12:01 #332896

mzl Current streak: 28 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 996	I think the goal for those men is not for the urge to diminish. In fact I believe if the urge did diminish it would be a disaster.
	This works for me: https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/336801-the-poof-method I moved to a blog: https://wordpress.com/post/mzl0.home.blog/11

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 12:17 #332897

Hank_Moody OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 21 Karma: 0	Part of me feels that way. Yes. But another part says no. The problem is not in one of these parts. But in having both of them at the same time.

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 12:18 #332898

Hank_Moody OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 21 Karma: 0	I don't know. This sounds nice and makes sense of course. But I don't believe there are many people who wouldn't want to get rid of this problem completely.

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 12:45 #332899

cordnoy
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There is a quote button for a reason. It enables people to follow and understand what someone is agreein' to or disagreein' about.

Then, there are guys like me, whom are not understandable, even while quotin'.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

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Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 14:30 #332903

mzl Current streak: 28 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 996	cordnoy wrote on 02 Jul 2018 12:45: There is a quote button for a reason. It enables people to follow and understand what someone is agreein' to or disagreein' about. Then, there are guys like me, whom are not understandable, even while quotin'. I see your point It does make the text a lot bigger though. Your posts for me are not usually hard to fathom.
	This works for me: https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/336801-the-poof-method I moved to a blog: https://wordpress.com/post/mzl0.home.blog/11 Last Edit: 02 Jul 2018 14:30 by mzl.

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 16:24 #332906

Jman356
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Mr. Moody,
I can't pretend to be an expert, or even qualified to give advice. But I don't know if hank moody is the best user name for a site like this. Hopefully no one knows who hank moody is, but I do, and you do. I know what he stands for and what he represents, and it is quite the opposite of what you stand for and what you represent, ie the reason you're here. If for no other reason then that it reminds you, or anyone else for that matter, about the man hank moody is, I would humbly recommend that you change your user name. Feel free to disregard my advice, I won't be offended. Just figured I'd put in my two sense. The many times hank tried to get clean he failed. Hopefully you will be more successful

Re: Wanting to give up 02 Jul 2018 16:45 #332907

Hank_Moody
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Jman356 wrote on 02 Jul 2018 16:24:

Thank you for your opinion and advice.
But as far as I remember, Hank did eventually succeed in the last season.
At least that's how I remember it.
Anyway, it's just a nickname.

Re: Wanting to give up 03 Jul 2018 11:43 #332938

GrowStrong Current streak: 2153 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder OMAAT Posts: 888 Karma: 89	I would have to agree with Cords in that if all you see is tired unhappy men who are bitter because they cant lust anymore then you are in the wrong meetings.