I have managed a 8 days so far! Yay me! I must say the people here are wonderful and encouraging.  It is a breath of fresh air to be able to open up like this.  

8 days later, I don't feel much different, but I have learned new things and see that other people know exactly what I am going through, so here's hoping I'll make it through to 90...

WBF

Welcome and best of luck!

I plan to keep on posting here, to try keep my sanity. It is sooo hard for me not to look at women in the street or shops, even when they are dressed tzniusly. Also I don't think I can manage to stop watching regular movies/tv series, which doesn't do any good for my eye sight.  Even if I manage to stop acting out (just 80 more days), I don't know how I will be able to stop looking.  I try keep my eyes down for a few minutes here and there, but that doesn't really last for long.  I was trying to be nice and help a lady take her stroller up a flight of stairs this morning and boy that was not a good idea.  I'm airing it out in the hope of making it real - not to hide it in the shadows.  Keep the encouragement coming

Welcome !

Good for you that you joined and you are taking steps in the right direction

I think you should slow down and not alk about 80 more days and after that , its a bit much for anyone with this type of situation  , have you heard of " ODAAT" or one day at a time  - theres a lot on that in these forums ...
good luck !!

Day 15.

I had a really good Shabbos and Shavuos. We usually accompanies my MIL on a walk Friday night back to her house and unfortunately we have to go past a park where there are a lot of sights that should not be seen.  I managed, however, to keep my eyes focused away from those sights most of the time!    On Shavuos we had a couple over for lunch and I managed not to lust after and ogle our guest. I can't say I was anywhere near perfect, but it's much better than I have managed in ages.  On motzei Shavuos I was a little less successful with not looking, but still no falls.

I have to go to the mall today with my wife and I'm quite worried about it.  I will have to daven to Hashem to keep me safe.

Day 16
Amazingly enough the mall went quite well.  Obviously it is better not to go at all, but there isn't always a choice. I managed to keep my sanity and keep my eyes down most of the time and I was not so badly affected as I used to be by going there.

Day 17
Still clean, but struggling - the harder part of the month for married men...  Here comes the real test.  However with chizuk and communicating with GYE members I will overcome today as well!

You can always ask your wife if she can kindly go there without you, so you don't get maulled

During "the harder part of the month", remind yourself there is no need to ejaculate. You can pull through the two weeks or so and then maybe even train yourself to sometimes be with your wife without even completing the act. This will help you live a life without dependence on sex.

You gonna die after 80 days? Is that it?
I think you may be living a bit too much in the future.. "how will I ever stop this, or how will I ever stop that...?"
Try think of today more. And stop being dramatic. And also you don't have to regard anything I say either

Well, that is one way of looking at it... I wasn't planning on dying any time soon, just hoping to change habits for the better after 90 days. One day at a time seems to be the reigning motto here. I may be somewhat dramatic, but what I meant is that while I have come to terms with the possibility of me being in control of acting out, the possibility of me controlling my street viewing habits seem way more distant, neigh impossible at the moment. 
ODAAT

P.S. If you have something worthwhile to say, I will try to ignore the rest of the barbs

WannabeFree wrote on 25 May 2018 10:14:

90 days is a great tool to  Motivate ,get on track, and give you breathing room to try other ways of changing , However it wont necessarily change your habit - unless it's a very weak habit.

Good luck !

I must say I find that quite disappointing. The site here "promises" that you can change a habit after 90 days and I quote: "All it takes is 90 days clean to break the habit." from the 90 days Chart Overview.

Day 21

​I'm glad I've managed this far.  Browsing the forums give me chizuk, seeing plenty of people in similar or worse situations than me still trying and even succeeding to break free. Nonetheless I am feeling weaker today.  Like I wrote in my introduction, I sometimes get in to depressive moods and don't really care about anything.  I'm not likely to act out at the moment, just being in the 90 days chart gives me motivation. But as opposed to last week, I have not been trying to control my eyes today and I really just want to enjoy the lust. Logic does not rule.

WannabeFree wrote on 27 May 2018 07:53:

A lot of people here report falling after initially making it to 90 days. I definitely think 90 days is a good starting point, but it cannot be a focus.
90 single days of living day in day out correctly helps rewire the brain, and creates a new habit of positive living. 90 days of white knuckling, will probably only cause the fall to be greater.
It is still a good idea to do anyways to learn self control.

Personally for me, I have been on and off acting out for the past 15-20 years. Do you really think 90 days will suddenly make me not want to act out? Perhaps 20 years of recovery can make such a change, or perhaps a lifetime.
Sorry, I didn't mean to bust your bubble. Just offering my perspective. Do whatever works best for you.

WannabeFree wrote on 27 May 2018 07:53:

I believe this post (second paragraph) says it best.
90 days is a good jump start but then what? There are no shortcuts to recovery from years and years of slips, falls and drinking lust.
Posting on the forums is also great for the beginning (step 1 - admitting that we were powerless) but won't help you much for the long haul either. 
Start chatting and staying connected with the network of winners here and ask for direction. Find out their routines and their do's/don'ts that have enabled them to stay clean for this long. Find a partner/sponsor and "check-in" with him on a daily basis. Our heads are full of garbage and it's time we started to take out the trash and share it with others. Sharing only "our progress" with others may feel good but is not the real recovery. Sharing about our garbage, starting to see the patterns of our underlying issues, starting to learn about our character defects (anger, self-centerdness, fear, procrastination, ego etc.) and who  we really are, and then having the humility and the readiness to follow direction and to start implementing new ideas/routines in our daily lives - that's where the real recovery lies. 
May Hashem bless you with the strength to get close to Him through the beautiful life of recovery ODAAT.