BH grateful for another day of sobriety.:blush:Grateful for wife and children who are helping with all the chores to get ready for Pessach. Went to live SA meeting today a lunch time Great sharing,grateful to hear feedback from my program brothers who notice the difference in my personality since i have been sober the past few weeks. 

a farewell letter to lust (written by me in 2013)
dear lust,
I have come to the realization that we can no longer continue our relationship.
I am fed up with u.  I can no long live with u because you are slowing
killing me.
when we are together i am spiritually dead. life with u is not living.
I am sick & tired of your empty promises & lies. Although it is
true,we have had some fleeting moments  of fun together,the pain which
you have caused me  has been much more intense and damaging.  You have
robbed me of my will to live as a loving giving  prductive human
being.
truth be told you are not my friend,you are my enemy & you are set on
destroying everything which is dear to me including my life.You have
robbed me of hours upon hours,days upon days,weeks upon weeks year
after year of my life. You have taken so much from me without my even
realizing it. You have attempted to take away everything from me; my
job,my wife,my children.my self-respect as a human being.Most of all
you are taking away my will to live as a decent moral human  being &
servant of Hashem.

BH still going strong!  Just saw just an extremely powerful PSA video posted by a Jewish organization which helps those struggling with addictions about the impact of a father's  excess drinking on his  wife and children! 
Very powerful eye-opener for me as a sexaholic!  Brought me to virtually to tears!
Imagine the  devastated looks on the faces of his young children while they were waiting to start their Shabbos seudah, when the father was out drinking with his kiddush club buddies.

The vivid dramatization of the wife's intense wrath as she lashes out her frustration and resentment  on her husband  is a powerful reminder for me about the destruction and pain my past actions caused to my wife and children.
May Hashem shower all of us with his infinite rachamim and enlighten us with the wisdom to realize the
magnitude of our problems and courage to diligently pursue the needed solutions. 

 BH just checking in. Very grateful for passing the 30 day milestone. It has been five years since i've been at this point the last time.
What has worked for me this time:
1) Daily Surrender (identified open "bottles" which include for me phone sex and computer porn and declare them off limits)
2) live face to face SA meetings
3) daily contact with my sponsor
4)reaching out to other GYE members & SA members both for their support and to support them
5) prayer (asking Hashem to remove from  me the obsession with lust
6) Focusing on an attitude of gratitude
7)keeping my side of the street clean (when i am wrong promptly admit and apologize)
8) considering how my behavior has caused pain to my wife and children 
9) reading from the AA Big Book a few pages on a regular basis

What amazing growth!!
It really does work if you work it one day at a time!
Thanks for sharing and may Hashem bless you with another day of sobriety and recovery!!
KUTGW!!!

grateful4life wrote on 09 Apr 2018 16:48:

Dear Grateful:
I am extremely grateful for all your encouragement and support!!! 

Just a quick check-in. BH approaching 60 days. Feeling liberated from lust. I continue to be in regular contact with my recovery "support network" which includes my sponsor and strugglers as well.I try getting to live SA meeting if only for a few minutes.The connection with other Lustaholics is very helpful for me.Of course step-work is the foundation for lasting recovery and I am committing to make regular time for it.
Sustained recovery requires time and effort. Not sure how I found time for all of the "acting-out" ,but it just "automatically took over my life". 

AD is back on the rebound! Fully lost sobriety on 5/23/18 after several days of riding the edge. Looking at erotic images,reading lustful stuff ending up calling phone sex,looking a porn and masturbation.
Finally, surrendered  lust today 6/1/18 one day at a time.Thanks to all who have been supportive and encouraging me to not let go of the recent 70+ days  of "recovery".