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Succeeding at 90 again
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TOPIC: Succeeding at 90 again 10643 Views

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 03 Mar 2018 23:28 #327673

  • voctave
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I agree completely that having someone to talk to helps. I tried getting a partner a few months back to no avail. I mostly looking for someone to discuss the difficulty by texting. 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 03 Mar 2018 23:33 #327674

  • voctave
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Past three days I just relapsed. At first it started without porn and I thought to myself well that's still an improvement. Then it just went downhill fast and I'm back the beginning again. I'm really annoyed that this happened again, I really thought I was gonna beat it this time because I started improving myself alot the past few weeks. I just get these feeling of "boredom" and "emptiness" and then everything just goes downhill. It drives me crazy that I know what I need to do and yet I don't do it over and over again. I hate living a lie and hiding a part of my life. Hopefully I can find some way to succeed. 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 04 Mar 2018 05:53 #327687

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You have bh come far, and its time to continue. Whats the plan for the next time you feel bored and empty?
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

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Re: Succeeding at 90 again 04 Mar 2018 05:59 #327688

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Hopefully I can find someone to chat with about this. Besides that, hopefully I can establish as a habit that whenever I have an urge, I take 10 minutes to read posts here and post myself. Honestly, I'm not sure just going to try different things. 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 07 Mar 2018 13:48 #327876

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Past week has thankfully been pretty easy. A big proponent has been in playing sports and being active. I never appreciated how much eating healthy and being active are crucial to getting out of that pre-relapse mood. For me primarily being active at night has really helped because im exhausted and still on that high from exercise when I go to sleep.

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 08 Mar 2018 17:10 #327946

  • voctave
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Started thinking a little about inappropriate things yesterday, so I'll take some time today to meditate,  try to learn some more torah, and hopefully try to be active. A big problem for me is that I have this speech difficulty which has gotten progressively worse throughout the years due to getting stuck and getting more nervous in a loop. Been trying this new program, but many of the steps require changes that are embarrassing for me, like speaking slowly or using a different breathing technique, and I can't get myself to do them. I have to learn how to stop living my life based on what others think and start living for myself but I have no idea how to.  

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 09 Mar 2018 12:16 #328001

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The chevra here will not judge you based on a speech issue. And they will have the patience to hear you get the words out if you call. Once you feel that level of acceptance here, you will iyh have an easier time in the "real world" and will see that most people there also do not judge people so much due to externals.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 08:44 #328192

  • Aneshama
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Hi, 
i just read your story and I want you to know that I relate exactly to how your feeling, I'm 21 years old, been stuck in this for about 2 years, and i have a stutter.
B"h I had good speech therapy when I was younger, so it in general isn't as much of a trigger for me, however I do now and then have these embarrassing situation's where I get stuck in public etc...and then it sure gets hard.
And thank g-d I'm not on a 38 day streak, what helps for me is the knowledge, that the reason I have this struggle and someone else doesn't, is because Hashem sees unique abilities in me, and put unique abilities in me, that someone else does not have, that I can overcome this struggle! And we can do it!

I can elaborate more but I have to go now, (if you want you can reach me at shmuelh1996@gmail.com)

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 10:41 #328194

  • yerushalmi
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Dear Voctave,
You came to the right place for encouragement! I am 37, and have been struggling with this for close to 24 years. Thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

1) Get rid of he porn! Deny yourself any access to it! If you have literature, destroy it. Filter all of your devices! 
2) In depth Torah study is a very strong tool! Porn and the subsequent masturbations are שקר. They are the products of imagination and fantasy. You see an image and fantasize about the possibilities that can occur. This is sheker! You know that none of your fantasies will occur. Torah is absolute אמת. It is the word of Hashem. When one delves into an in depth study of Torah, trying as hard as he can to fully understand the word of Hashem, to get a deeper and deeper understanding of the topic, he is pursuing emes. Falsehood and truth can not co-exist. The more a person studies Torah in depth, the more he is pursuing truth. The desires for base fantasy will subside.
3) Feel free to send me an email yerushalmi708@gmail.com (Make sure that outgoing emails won't say your name if you want to remain truly anonymous. this can be changed in the settings.) I don't have texting on my phone, so it may take a few hours until I get onto my computer to see your emails

All the best to you.

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 13:04 #328196

  • cordnoy
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Yerushalmi wrote on 13 Mar 2018 10:41:
Dear Voctave,
You came to the right place for encouragement! I am 37, and have been struggling with this for close to 24 years. Thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

1) Get rid of he porn! Deny yourself any access to it! If you have literature, destroy it. Filter all of your devices! 
2) In depth Torah study is a very strong tool! Porn and the subsequent masturbations are שקר. They are the products of imagination and fantasy. You see an image and fantasize about the possibilities that can occur. This is sheker! You know that none of your fantasies will occur. Torah is absolute אמת. It is the word of Hashem. When one delves into an in depth study of Torah, trying as hard as he can to fully understand the word of Hashem, to get a deeper and deeper understanding of the topic, he is pursuing emes. Falsehood and truth can not co-exist. The more a person studies Torah in depth, the more he is pursuing truth. The desires for base fantasy will subside.
3) Feel free to send me an email yerushalmi708@gmail.com (Make sure that outgoing emails won't say your name if you want to remain truly anonymous. this can be changed in the settings.) I don't have texting on my phone, so it may take a few hours until I get onto my computer to see your emails

All the best to you.

Wishin' all hatzlachah in all paths taken. For years, I (and others have told me the same) were pursuin' Torah on the highest of levels, sometimes even 16/18 hours a day, sayin' chaburos, writin' shtiklech Torah, and simultaneously masturbatin' to no end, lookin' at porn, magazines and explorin' the depths of smut more and more (nuch un nuch un nuch un nuch un nuch). Don't know about you, but I was thrivin' in this dual roll. And you know what? I still want it.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 14:29 #328203

  • ieeyc
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Voctave wrote on 04 Mar 2018 05:59:
Hopefully I can find someone to chat with about this. Besides that, hopefully I can establish as a habit that whenever I have an urge, I take 10 minutes to read posts here and post myself. Honestly, I'm not sure just going to try different things. 

hi voctave, a taphsic might enable you to do that ! check it out ! youre certainly headed in the right direction ,chazak!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 14:37 #328204

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Yerushalmi wrote on 13 Mar 2018 10:41:
Dear Voctave,
You came to the right place for encouragement! I am 37, and have been struggling with this for close to 24 years. Thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

1) Get rid of he porn! Deny yourself any access to it! If you have literature, destroy it. Filter all of your devices! 
2) In depth Torah study is a very strong tool! Porn and the subsequent masturbations are שקר. They are the products of imagination and fantasy. You see an image and fantasize about the possibilities that can occur. This is sheker! You know that none of your fantasies will occur. Torah is absolute אמת. It is the word of Hashem. When one delves into an in depth study of Torah, trying as hard as he can to fully understand the word of Hashem, to get a deeper and deeper understanding of the topic, he is pursuing emes. Falsehood and truth can not co-exist. The more a person studies Torah in depth, the more he is pursuing truth. The desires for base fantasy will subside.
3) Feel free to send me an email yerushalmi708@gmail.com (Make sure that outgoing emails won't say your name if you want to remain truly anonymous. this can be changed in the settings.) I don't have texting on my phone, so it may take a few hours until I get onto my computer to see your emails

All the best to you.

i totally agree with you,yerushalmi, but i noticed that no stress was given in musar and even if you have all this Torah learning a person c"v can be easy prey to the yetzer hara ,hatzlacha!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 13 Mar 2018 14:42 by ieeyc.

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 14:48 #328206

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cordnoy wrote on 13 Mar 2018 13:04:
Wishin' all hatzlachah in all paths taken. For years, I (and others have told me the same) were pursuin' Torah on the highest of levels, sometimes even 16/18 hours a day, sayin' chaburos, writin' shtiklech Torah, and simultaneously masturbatin' to no end, lookin' at porn, magazines and explorin' the depths of smut more and more (nuch un nuch un nuch un nuch un nuch). Don't know about you, but I was thrivin' in this dual roll. And you know what? I still want it.

i totally agree with you,cordnoy, but i noticed that no stress was given in musar and even if you have all this Torah learning a person c"v can be easy prey to the yetzer hara ,hatzlacha!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 15:46 #328214

  • ieeyc
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i forgot to mention that a serious working of Tefila is essential!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: Succeeding at 90 again 13 Mar 2018 15:55 #328215

  • ieeyc
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one more thing , a system in curbing the appetite in  not too much noshing/eating. im just mentioning things that helped me in my 11 year streak,BH. a certain person , (Talmid Chacham) was once forced to go on a health diet , and he confided to someone that as long as he was on this diet ,the nisyonos of the street were much less of a nisayon,

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

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