Day #81

Almost there!  B"h things are still going well.

See everyone tomorrow!

Day #83

I have a week left.  B"h things are going well.  After I finish, I'll write up about the experience and next steps.

See everyone tomorrow!

Ok, I finished this last Thursday.  This whole experience has been really good, and might be a good place for some people to start.  As you could probably tell, I kind of ran out of steam writing every day and slowly stopped.  In the beginning it was pretty useful but then turned into more of a burden than anything else.

I definitely feel like I've grown in this area over the past few months.  I see that small steps are possible, but I think that the most important thing that I've learned is how much easier things are if you don't get started looking at stuff.  I used to think that guarding your eyes was the final stage of the struggle, after you got rid of masturbation etc. but now I see that it is completely backwards.  Be careful what you look at and the urge to masturbate slowly gets weaker.

I also felt like this was too long of a challenge for me.  I made it through without watching any porn, but I feel like it would have been better had it been shorter so that I could make adjustments to the plan as needed.

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me along the way, especially Hashem Help Me!  I really couldn't have made it this far without your encouragement.

Have I stopped masturbating?  No.  Am I doing it way less than I have been for the past decade? Absolutely.  That's what I call progress.

Here's my next plan.  If anyone wants to join, come along for the ride!  This one is going to be 30 days long.  The commitment is not to seek out any sexually stimulating imagery and find it, whether or not it's pornographic.  No browsing sites hoping that I'll "bump into" something "interesting".  If I'm looking for bad stuff and find it that's a fall, whether or not I masturbate.  If I am bombarded by it, then I need to look away as soon as possible. I'm also going to try my best to take HHM's advice to not visualize anything even when masturbating.
In some ways it's stricter than the ninety day challenge and some ways less so.  For the ninety day challenge a fall is porn or masturbation, but looking at bad stuff for a short while is a slip.  Here looking for bad stuff and finding it is a fall, but masturbating is a slip.

I will hopefully make weekly posts instead of daily ones, and if I fall I commit to posting it on here soon after.

Mazel tov on your accomplishments. You are seriously engaged in the process of breaking free and keep upping the ante until the final goal is iyh reached. Your new goal of keeping your eyes even more guarded and holy is so appropriate. We all have to realize the goal is not just avoiding pornography, but rather to have eyes that are as pure as can be. You are much closer to the "finish line" of no pornography and masturbation now than you were when you started. Most of all, you believe that it can be done. The mehalech you are using was endorsed by one of the foremost gedolei yisroel who was niftar in the last ten years and guided countless bochurim as well as therapists regarding these issues. May Hashem continue to shower you with hatzlocha, and iyh you will be a great inspiration for many.

Day #8

B"h the first week was good!  If anything, so far it has been easier to cut out any type of bad imagery than just to restrict porn.  If it doesn't get started in the first place it's much easier to not give in. I did masturbate (without any imagery) but I think that it will get less with time.

See everyone next week!

You are doing super. look how far you have come bli ayin hora!

Day #16

More than half way there.  This week was really good.  I didn't have any slips or anything and no masturbation.  Things are a lot easier when you aren't looking at stuff at all.  I can't believe it's been two weeks already.

See everyone next week!

Oh man, yesterday and today I really blew it.  I was going through a hard time and I had big stretches of time alone which isn't a good combination.  I ended up looking at bad stuff and masturbating.  I was so close to the end also, I was three weeks in and had a week left. Oh well, I need to move on and pick myself up.  I'm restarting today (today is day #0) and will keep the same rules as previously.

See everyone next week!

Day #14

Things have been going pretty well and I've been pretty clean.  I've had a few close calls, but nothing too major b"h.  I look forward to seeing if I can make it this time around.

See everyone next week!

Day #22

This week was a little rough. There were definitely things which were questionable, but I think that nothing crossed the line.  With this 30 day one, I seem to have trouble around the 3 week mark, I'm not sure why that is.  Be"h I will make it through this last week.

See everyone next week!

I was so close!  It was going to be done next week and I blew it.  It really hurt me to be off during bain hazmanim and it was much harder than when I had a normal schedule.  I'm going to try it again but this time I'm going to shorten it to two weeks.  Again, no seeking out anything sexually stimulating, no masturbating to anything at all and if I do then the clock resets.  I know that I can do this!

See everyone next week!

Day #7

Still going well. I haven't acted out in any way and am seven days clean from masturbation.  It really helped thatt I was busy getting ready for Yom Tov. Iy"h I will be able to continue.

See everyone next week!

Things got a little crazy with Yom Tov and I forgot to update it, but I made I completed my two weeks!  My goal now is to make it for three weeks without seeking out anything sexually stimulating, no masturbating to any imagery.   I commit to posting once a week and if I have a fall I will post it within twenty four hours. Iy"h I will make it from today!

bgit wrote on 25 Apr 2018 01:00:

 Due to some unfortunate circumstances I was home alone for a long time and I had a fall unfortunately.  I'm back on now though and same rules apply.  To keep myself a little more accountable, if I have a fall (according to the standards on this thread) I pledge bl"n to give $5 of extra money to tzedaka.  I'm going to make three weeks!