I am starting over once again.  Each time I become more conviced that this is an addiction that I cannot on my own strength get out of.  Each time I find myself taking another small step thinking that will be what I need,  GYE e-mail then 90 day chart, then afilter, now this Forum.  I hope you can help me totally surender to Hashem with the Humility that I need to really "walk with Him"  Can you please help me?

It sounds like you're working hard and continuing to get up. I don't know enough to give "next step" advice, but you deserve a lot of credit - continually searching for ways to improve, and grow!

Keep it up!

Dear Towalk,

Welcome to our community! Once you’ve arrived, there’s no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You’re worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can’t be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world’s most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn’t jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn’t be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they’ve tried already, and if those steps haven’t worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won’t be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it’s anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

Thank you so much for the replys I read through the handbook last night for the 1st time and have found lots of great tools and will start working through it again step by step.  I am now seeing that there are blessings in this addiction.  The need to truely surrender to HaShem.  I find myself to be a fighter but is all in my own strength.  This is one battle that I now realize that I cannot win on my  own.  Thank you again.  I can say that I am now looking forward with hope to be drawn closer to HaShem. 

To walk with Him

Hey  I made it through another day.  I can say it wasn't easy,  but can see and feel the growth.  Catching myself before the Y__H__ takes over and speedily pushes me down the path.  I am so thankful for this site and group.  It's not just me against this beast but us. Bless HaShem.

Congratulations! I know what an amazing feeling of success you have when you make it past temptation (or at least, I hope you feel the victory!).

Looks like my chavrusa isn't calling to learn with me...but inspired by you, I'm going to learn tonight anyway! So you get a share in that zchus, and hopefully that will give you a little help in your battles!

Everyone,  I am sorry I let you down.  I fell last night I am really in the dumps now about it.  I wish this was not so hard.    I am going to start over  with gusto to make 90 days.  With detrmination To walk with Him with out the shame of this addiction.

Sorry to hear about your fall. Just regroup and reach out to all the amazing people on this forum. Theres so much to gain and learn. Hatzlacha.

You should be proud of yourself - it's easy for the yetzer hora to make us feel bad after we fall, and that can make it more difficult to get up again - but you're not letting that happen, and you're getting up right away - I know this gets quoted all the time here, but there's a reason for it - it's true. A tzaddik falls 7 times and gets up - the mark of a tzaddik is someone who keeps getting up after he falls.

I quoted you in today's e-mail!

where is todays email?
im waiting on the edge of my seat

Thank you for the encouraging words and insight.  I am starting over and realizing that it is a fresh new begining.  Pure white bright as can be.  The darkness is now behind not to say there isn't temptation to look back or turn aside.  I am hoping that now whith His help I can stay on the path.  To walk with Him. 

I think what most people on this forum would tell you is; dont walk with Him allow Him to carry you. Its deep but its true. No intention to make you change your name. I do thinks its a beautiful name. It says alot about your personality. Just wanted to bring out that thought.

I wish you luck and don't want to thow any cold water on anyone, but this sounds a lot like what we addicts all say, after every fall.   ...

Please share with us what concrete steps you are taking to make SURE that this time will be different...

Which tools of the handbook have you tried so far, and which new tools are you going to try this time?

May Hashem be with you!

YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!