hi keep up the good work! we shall never surrender! lol i'v been thinking about surrender in chazal works and this is what i came uo with it says that dovid hamelech asked g-d to test him and he fell through, regaurding the yh it says ilemoleh hakodesh boruch hu ozroi ayno yochoil loi if hashem doesnt help him he cant do it. so what iwas thinking is maybe every time we have a fight what we are actually doing is telling gd please let me fight this out by myself as bar kochva said (he asked gd not to come with him in war) and the inevitable outcome is failure because as reb amram chasidah said he is fire and we are mere flesh and blood. when we surrender ourselves by saying hareini moiser atzmi olecha etc (or whatever) we are asking the almighty to help us and he does!
One more thing that i thought of is that the oir hachaim says regarding chava and the snake that the resin why she fell was that she started going into a conversation with the snake, once she got into a conversation she started entertaining the idea of saying yes even though she went into the conversation t say no. she said no, so he said yes,  she said no, he said why not so, she started explaing and by the time the convo had finished she had fallen through. Reb Nachman of breslov brings this idea aswell and says dont challenge your yh or your bad thoughts just leave them and think or do somthing else.
(sorry for rambling on but i had to let it out lol)

Yes, that is a big part of surrender.  Acknowledging that the y"h is there but not fighting with it and not dancing with it.  If you wrestle with a menuval you will get dirty.

I have wasted much time in the past obsessing about my feelings and mood swings.  Depression and/or anxiety lead me to seek comfort and oblivion in my favorite "medicine".  

Of course this "medicine" (P and MB) is the sickness itself.  It merely leads to a new round of bad feelings and the cycle repeats itself ad nauseum ...

My new mantra is HEALING, NOT FEELINGS!

It takes time to let the brain recover from this addiction and develop new thought patterns.  

For me, TRUE HEALING means breaking the negative cycle of addiction and developing a new, healthier mind-body chemistry. 

I am determined to give myself a 90-day break from this addiction NO MATTER HOW I FEEL!

I can't let the y"h manipulate my feelings.  I must focus on the healing.

For the next 86 days, my mantra is HEALING, NOT FEELINGS!

On the road, man!

i once spoke to reb yakov meir schechter a well known ehrlicher yid and someone who is know for his greatness in kedusha, he told me that we know that everything in has its right place, i.e that even bad middos have a place when used rightly, for example havey az kanomer so we see azus and so it is in all bad middos, he asked me where do we find a place for achzorius (ruthlessness)? and he answered in kedusha because if a person wants to be holy there will be times he will have to ruthless to himself he will feel like he will be going through hell, and he has to stay strong