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Bigmoish's path to tahara

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 82328 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Jan 2016 14:35 #275125

ishkabible OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 8 Karma: 3	Glad you decided to join the the rest of us already rooting for you Is reality any less painful these days?

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Jan 2016 14:40 #275127

bigmoish
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Karma: 170

markz wrote:

Bigmoish wrote:

eslaasos wrote:

Bigmoish wrote:

It would feel very good right now to take a hit of my sweet sweet drug.
Such an easy escape from reality; such a great high.
I'm too lazy to get around all my filtration devices at the moment, but wonderful fantasies can easily be dreamed up in my mind's eye.
So, what will it be? Will I? Or won't I? Do I really have the ability to choose anymore?
Of course I do. But the choice is not yes or no, life or death, sanity or foolishness.
Given those options, I am guaranteed to choose the choice of folly and fleeting pleasure. Eventually. Perhaps not this time (though probably), but my will power is not unlimited. It is, in fact, very weak.
The choice I have right now is the choice between me and God. Nothing more, nothing less. If I choose me, which I well may, I will then be faced with the futile options presented above.
If I choose to accept God, anything is possible.
But will I?

Will you?

There are a lot of people rooting for you.

But only one matters.
אם אין אני לי, מי לי?

Today, I am rooting for myself.

So am I
And I bumped you to 90 - It's a special number

KOT

Then you should bump me to 1

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Jan 2016 14:41 #275128

bigmoish
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Posts: 1194
Karma: 170

tmayn wrote:

Glad you decided to join the the rest of us already rooting for you

Is reality any less painful these days?

It's always only as painful as I choose to make it.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Jan 2016 16:20 #275133

Workingguy OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1150 Karma: 139	Bigmoish wrote: tmayn wrote: Glad you decided to join the the rest of us already rooting for you Is reality any less painful these days? It's always only as painful as I choose to make it. Oy, halevai I should be able to really internalize what you just said.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Jan 2016 20:27 #275170

stillgoing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1700 Karma: 157	tmayn wrote: Glad you decided to join the the rest of us already rooting for you Is reality any less painful these days? throwing in my vote too. for whatever it counts.
	BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories STORY TIME :) Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards) 613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Jan 2016 21:13 #275349

talmidchaim OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 405 Karma: 22	You definitely could do it!
	0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness. Lo ba-shamayim hi Mellow out.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 30 Mar 2016 17:05 #282970

bigmoish
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Posts: 1194
Karma: 170

It has now been approximately a month since I've been active on the forums here.
I have found myself to be more productive and able to focus better on the things I need to do for my recovery (if I can remember what they are). Also, my ego sometimes gets a bit caught up in the discussion and I get too emotionally involved in the conversations, causing me to endanger my very fragile sobriety. I do not profess to understand why that is, it just seems to be my experience.

As of now, I have no plans to return to full-time posting, for the reasons mentioned.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank every person on these forums, as each one of you has brought me to further realization of the steps I need to take.

I can still be contacted by PM, as I check my GYE email daily, or by phone, or by direct email, or hangouts, or text, or whatsapp, etc. Several members can attest that I have not been out of contact, merely off the forums.

If anyone wants to remain in touch, please PM me for my email address.

Kol Tuv, and thanks for your friendship.

Moshe

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 30 Mar 2016 17:08 #282971

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	Hey! Before you go! Moish I wanted to thank you - cos you were the first here to encourage me to post on gye Keep on Moshe Trucking!!!!!!!!
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 30 Mar 2016 18:16 #282975

Aryeh821 Current streak: 591 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 289 Karma: 8	Don't know if you'll see this but if you got markz to start posting we all need to thank you
	Soberity is a journey NOT a destination

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 30 Mar 2016 20:11 #282989

eslaasos Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 954 Karma: 81	When you feel your sobriety can handle it (step 12?), lots of folks would benefit from your comments.
	Quotes that speak to me What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy) My Thread My Other Thread

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 31 Mar 2016 02:02 #283034

stillgoing
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Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1700
Karma: 157

markz wrote on 30 Mar 2016 17:08:

Hey!

Before you go!

Moish

I wanted to thank you - cos you were the first here to encourage me to post on gye

Keep on Moshe Trucking!!!!!!!!

Hay Markz! Stick around and keep on posting.

Warning: Spoiler!

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Last Edit: 31 Jul 2016 21:40 by stillgoing.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 09 May 2016 16:26 #287274

bigmoish
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Posts: 1194
Karma: 170

Today, in spite of being extremely ungrateful, irritable, lustful, resentful, et al, I am grateful to Hashem for the following:
My sponsor
My children
My parents' emotional support
Friends

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 09 May 2016 16:43 #287276

stillgoing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1700 Karma: 157	Bigmoish wrote on 09 May 2016 16:26: Today, in spite of being extremely ungrateful, irritable, lustful, resentful, et al, I am grateful to Hashem for the following: My sponsor My children My parents' emotional support Friends This should be a foundation of life. Start with what we Do have. Thank you Moish (are you chiming in on todays call 1:20)?
	BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories STORY TIME :) Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards) 613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 09 May 2016 18:26 #287290

eslaasos Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 954 Karma: 81	Bigmoish wrote on 09 May 2016 16:26: Today, in spite of being extremely ungrateful, irritable, lustful, resentful, et al, I am grateful to Hashem for the following: My sponsor My children My parents' emotional support Friends Returning with a bang!
	Quotes that speak to me What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy) My Thread My Other Thread

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 20 May 2016 20:42 #288424

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	Ahem. So where's that post about you being grateful for inna finally calling you after ignoring you for months? I can't believe you really thought I was still in Israel.