Hi
I'm the guy from this story.
I need some chizuk, Hashem Yitbarach is putting me through the paces but I feel these tests are way out of my league.
I just returned home today from 3 plus weeks away from home and you all know just how close to the edge I came after a year.
Anyway I gave my wife a hug and a little present, made dinner for the kids, and went to out for 1o minutes.
I arrived home and my wife, who is still breastfeeding told me she just got her period. I know that Hashem knows I can do this, I am not so sure I share his optimism.
I so dont want to mess this up!!!
I have discoved 3 things that I finally understand and would like to share with you.
1- If we listen to Rebbe Nachman and live only this moment to its fullest then a week or a month or even a year are all the same, because you are only living one day and dealing with its challenges. Tommorrow doesent even feature, as soon as you think like I wrote in the first line that I am not certain I can last that long that is SITRA ACHRA!!!
2- a person only sins if a RUACH SHTUT enters him. I saw when I was willing to take a chance on a years work, my wifes faith in me, and the dispair that was obviously waiting for the sin, that this is litteral. It finally makes sense how the Y"H gets his foot in the door, he makes you thaink that whatever you see now as a reality is the only reality and that it will last forever. People commit suicide over monetary matters that any person with eyes in his head knows how it comes and goes. I think the RUACH SHTUT is that a person loses sight of that all that he sees is now and that is all he can act on. If he thinks I have no money now and this will be forever, then he will dispair and seek an outlet for his dispair and fustration. We all know which outlet the Y"H wants him to use.
3-If you can read "the garden of peace" by Rav Shalom Arush (translated by Rav Brody). It puts the role of the husband in a totally differant light than you have ever seen. It doesn't really talk about sexuality but anyone with eyes in their head will realise just how warped the Modern veiw of males and sex really is. I also heard this lecture by Rav Moshe New from Chabad.org, it made me understnd on a spiritual level what a woman is.
here is the link www.chabad.org/multimedia/media_cdo/aid/411680/jewish/Kabbalah-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code.htm
Also with you guys here, I feel I am able to draw coach from you even though we have never met.
:)CHAZAK VE'EMATZ

I also have jet-lag that unable to sleep/I'm awake by myself time that the Y"H loves so much.
I will keep you all posted.
For now asta lavista, I will be back B"H

Dear RPB,

Your words are very wise, and you have the right attitude. Just when we think things will be Ok, they get harder. The reason is because the next world is to reap the rewards, but this world is for work, work work. Hashem has seen your tremendous growth and progress in the past year, and now he wants to take you even higher, by leaps and bounds. To do this, he tested you in the U.S with a big test, and now he gave you another big test with your wife. (Yes, it's a big test. Wow!) But he would never do this to you if he didn't trust that you have the strength to overcome. And that's why you found this site and forum just now, because at the same time that he wanted to send some hard tests your way, he also wanted to give you a big hug.

Keep posting here. We are honored to have a mighty warrior like you on our forum!

PRB, did you mean maybe THIS LINK?
www.chabad.org/multimedia/media_cdo/aid/290837/jewish/Kabbalah-on-Female-Superiority.htm
the link you gave seems to be about Je-sus...

No, its the right link
This shiur talks about the "Da Vinci code", but goes on to talk about the male and female atributes of Hashem.
I have heard it twice already, and intend to hear it again with my wife and then again and again.
Besides the eye opening topic he speaks like he is on fire.
Definitly hear this