Kinda old fashioned that shtreimel: Here's the rest of One Day.

Sometimes I lay in my cocoon
Inside I'm seethin'
Yeah and I pray
Please take me soon
Or make the world see reason

SOMETIMES IN MY FEARS I DROWN
AND RESENTMENTS PULL ME DOWN
WHEN NEGATIVITY SURROUNDS
I SAY NO! -JUST ONE DAY!
IT ALL TURNS AROUND!
IT'S ALL MY LIFE
THAT I'M WAITING FOR
THAT I'M PRAYING FOR
THINKING OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY
I DON'T WANT TO SET MY SIGHTS NO MORE
HAVE EXPECTATIONS MORE
BE LIKE CHILDREN AT PLAY!

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

IT'S NOT ABOUT
WIN OR LOSE
CUZ WE ALL LOSE
WHEN WE dream and we
FOCUS ON BEING CLEAN
KEEP ON LOSING
OBSESSIN OVER everyTHIN

IN THIS MAZE
YOU LOSE YOUR WAY
your waaay
IT MIGHT DRIVE YOU CRAZY
BUT DON'T LET IT FAZE YOU
NO WAY
NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAY


SOMETIMES IN MY FEARS I DROWN
AND RESENTMENTS PULL ME DOWN
WHEN NEGATIVITY SURROUNDS
I SAY NO! -JUST ONE DAY!
IT ALL TURNS AROUND!
IT'S ALL MY LIFE
THAT I'M WAITING FOR
THAT I'M PRAYING FOR
THINKING OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY
I DON'T WANT TO SET MY SIGHTS NO MORE
HAVE EXPECTATIONS MORE
BE LIKE CHILDREN AT PLAY!

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

My attitudes must change
Treat people the same
Stop with the arrogance
Down with the hate

One day I will be free
And proud to be
Grateful recovering
Singing songs of freedom like
wayoooooooooohhh wayoooooo o o o o
wayoooooooooohhh wayoooooo o o o o


IT'S ALL MY LIFE
THAT I'M WAITING FOR
THAT I'M PRAYING FOR
THINKING OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY
I DON'T WANT TO SET MY SIGHTS NO MORE
HAVE EXPECTATIONS MORE
BE LIKE CHILDREN AT PLAY!

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

Still on the chart, inastruggle?

I'm back for the holidays, and so far it's been quite bad in the lust area. I fell many times over aseres y'mei teshuva and until yesterday morning I was in a big slump. I could blame it on coming home, but the truth is I already saw it coming in Israel, so the fall started there. I realized that doing this was only going to make my time home even less enjoyable, but I just didn't have the strength to fight it (there are things happening at home that are a lot easier to deal with a few thousand miles away). Thursday morning I woke up and realized that if I don't tell someone then it's not going to end, so I texted a gye member. He invited me over to his house and I had a great time hanging out with him. I felt much better and realized that if I want to have a chance with this over bein hazmanim then I have to come back here and tell everyone about my falls and ask for support.

So once again, I want to thank you all for being here for me, and wish you all a gmar chasima tova.

There was something I realized today that gave me some chizzuk. My aseres ymei teshuva was predictably lousy being that I fell almost every night, it affected the rest of my avodas Hashem as well. I was feeling pretty lousy about it, that I couldn't be a little better during this period when we're supposed to try to take on some additional chumros, let alone doing the minimum required of us.

This morning I realized,that my avodah for the aseres yemai teshuva is getting up from this fall. That's what Hashem wants from me, and that's what I'm going to do be"h.

Hashem doesn't need our mitzvos or davening, if he wanted them he can make it for himself. He wants us to serve in whatever situation we're in (even if it's my fault that I'm in that situation). If I have to serve him in a way that other people wouldn't find a challenge, it's just as valuable.

(Posting was a really good idea, thanks 9494)

Well, it's probably not nice to say that I'm sooooo happy that you're back!!, so I'm not gonna say it!

Hope to see you around here a lot the next two weeks!!

KOT!!!

One day at a time, one day at a time!!

hi Inna!
keep on rocking

I had a good yomtov but for some reason as soon as I got to a computer, my brain (or excuse for one) told me to fall. B"h i'm here instead, I'm going to try to post a little, for some reason it helps me.

Update: After a long night of posting, I'm back to not wanting to fall and I'm feeling very thankful for gye and it's memebrs. Good night

yeah computers are dangerous for us ,
brains are confusing,
main thing is KOT and KOP or whatever works for you

inastruggle wrote:


That feelin' sure is a great one.

Let's get that osmosis goin'.

Hi everyone, I've been in Israel for about two weeks now. Baruch
Hashem, the zman is off to a very decent start, and I'm happy to say
that I'm still clean. I plan on keeping in touch a lot more than I did
last zman. My fall when I got home can definitely be linked to me not
being in touch during the zman and then slowly getting into a bad
mindset without telling anyone. So Be"h I'll try to keep in touch from
here. I don't really have internet access here, so I'm going to be
emailing my posts to a gye member (thanks skeps) and he'll post them
for me.

KIT.

WTG!! KOKIT!!

I'm skeptical that inna wrote that......

Wait...

If you're skeptical...

...then who am I?

Skeptical 2? Maybe you are DMS1234! OH NO!!!! Someone switched our accounts? AHHHHHHHH!

Seems my thread is turning into a freaky friday thread....

Anyway, you are who you choose to be, so that should add another level
of complexity seeing as choosing to be skeptical actually does make
you skeptical, however you choosing to be skeptical makes you, you
choosing, and then becoming skeptical as opposed to being skeptical
from the start.

See how much I'm shteiging in Israel?

In other news, I'm still clean B"h, and I started getting dreams that
I fell. It happened other times when I reached about a month, so I
just have to ignore them and KOT in life.


Ciao