I found the site on August 19, 2009.

So far so clean.

Thanks for the warm welcome

SC

welcome aboard and good luck!

Dear Steve,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

One tool that works for me is that I read the previous days chizuk e mail and skim the forums as I commute to and from work. This gives me the strength to keep may eyes down while walking through the streets.

SC

The Chizuk emails are literally a G-dsend and a lifesaver for me!!!

KUTGW

You are in my thoughts and prayers

Love and tremendous respect to a fellow warrior

Noorah

Wow. Its motzei YK and I am still going strong. Thank you GYE for helping me expeience the best YK ever

im so glad to hear youre up and up...isnt amazing how different a yom kippur can be?

ratm

stevec613 wrote on 29 Sep 2009 02:28:


Ditto for me and I'm sure for many other tzadikim on the forum.

Thank you to  GYE and the "heilegeh Guard".

Steve, glad to hear that you r ok and things are heading in the right direction. Keep posting!

Love
Noorah

Welcome! Many a times I thought Ill leave for good. But to warn you before you even start to think about it - once taken in - there is no way out. Of this site that is - there is however a way out of sin! 

Sitting here after my first post GYE yom kippur I am struck by several thoughts.

As we all know, in order to effect real teshuvah on the past and make real change in our lives it is necessary to have a solid plan for the future in place. My post yom kippur failures in the past have not been caused by a lack of good intent on yom kippur itself. Rather, those failures were caused by the lack of having a detailed plan in place for the post yom kippur period. I can remember many years when the post yom kippur fall came within 24 or 48 hours of neliah.

The other mistake I had made in the past was thinking that the teshuvah was done once the aseres yemei teshuvah were over. I now realize that for me, the aseres yemei teshuvah have not ended and that I must think about teshuvah as much today as I did on erev yom kippur. For me elul must continue in order to effect real long term/permanent change. I must fight the post yom kippur laziness with all my strength.

This is the first year that I feel I stand a chance. 

I will continue reading the daily chizzuk e-mails first thing in the morning so that shemiras einiem and shimiras habris are in the front of my mind.

I will continue to participate on the forums building relationships with my brothers in arms so that I don't feel alone in my struggle.

I will continue to walk the streets with hat on and with my head down. While I may inadvertently see things on the street that I wish I had not, I will not search for them nor will I linger or take a second look.

Thank you Reb Guard and thank you to the community whose help I will need to make my teshuvah stick.

SC

Great plan! Make sure to follow the handbook advice as well...

Steve,
Your holy words give me great chizuk! How true! The whole year for us needs the same focus as ellul and aseres ymei tshuvah! Wow! A tall order for sure, but the chevra here all tall people
Noorah

My dear friend

Your words are pearls, but let me add an important point.

One needs always a backup plan, in case you fall CH"V you should be able to get up straight away.

So while you are fighting your battle bravely in the same time you strengthen your rear guard so that they can rush in in case of emergency

stevec613 wrote on 30 Sep 2009 11:37:


Steve,

Having a plan, and such a great one at that, is the key to success, b'Ezras Hashem!  I would add: concentrate on one day at a time and, a short term goal for now - make it until Sukkos at all costs.

I updated my 90 day chart and see that I am halfway to the goal.  I am not so naive to believe that I have this thing beat and that its all smooth sailing until 90.  I realize the battle will be long and hard and that I will be probably find the second half of this journey to be more difficult that the first half.  I am wondering what others have experienced, how others have fought the urge to feel like the addiction is behind them.  I am worried that I may let my guard down and fall before I even realize it.  I know how difficult it is to stop once you even start to look,