gibbor120 wrote:


Thank TeeZee; I got to read that amazin' post again, and especially these two paragraphs.

Sh'koyach Gadol!

Thanks!

I was actually planning to post something on my thread (which I don't do too often any more). I saw a great quote from a navy seal. I can't find the exact quote right now, but he said they learn "to get comfortable being uncomfortable".

It is something we all need to do. When we get uncomfortable, we tend to use our "drug of choice". Although we should try not to get to the point of being "uncomfortable" (using variuous tools), it does inevitably happen from time to time, even for those with long streaks of sobriety. Sometimes all that is required is the ability to be "comfortable being uncomfortable". Yes, I feel an urge now, but I can live with that discomfort. It will fade as long as I don't "stoke the coals" by looking or fantasizing.

It is a simple idea, not always easy to do, but can be the difference between uncontrolled binging and righting the ship and truckin on after a (usually) short uncomfortable spell.

Pleasure.

This was said today by someone else on a different thread; t'was regardin' perfection and expectation I think as well.

Thanks

Pidaini wrote:

Which is the right choice? I think I'm uncomfortably uncomfortable.
(The spelling of that word looks increasingly wrong every time I write it.)

Bigmoish wrote:


It is the first choice we strive for....somewhat.

To be comfortable although we are uncomfortable.
that means...things may bother us; life is not perfect; it does not live up to our expectations (who da hell gave anyone da right to expect anythin' around here? I'm not sure); nevertheless, we are comfortable in a state of uncomfortability.

However, if we are uncomfortably comfortable...that means we feel that we're uncomfortable, so we look for ways and methods to become comfortable, and perhaps even for some time, we reach that plateau of comfortability....nevertheless, we are uncomfortably (our methods and tools) comfortable.

Tough stuff

I've seen several posts recently that say that understanding, or reason, or just making a really good schedule and sticking to it, planning well, having a purpose etc. etc. will do the trick.

Knowledege and understanding was almost useless to me. I learned halachos, I learned mussar. It did not help. Our brains are quite a weak tool when dealing with the power of lust (and many other struggles/bad habbits as well).

Having a good schedule etc. can be a good framework and can make it easier to stay out of trouble, but every so often trouble comes knockin anyway. Bad mood, lonliness, feeling a bit under the weather, got insulted, saw something "accidentally", just for a second, was left with unfiltered internet and just wanted to see a news story, watch a video to relax, etc. etc. When it comes knocking and we open the door, it's like letting in the cat in the hat. No telling what will happen next, but it aint good.

I tried all that stuff for years and I just kept getting worse. Until I admitted I had a problem and opened up about it to real people. Realized I can't do it on my own. I need help. Willpower and/or knowledge cannot save me.

Here are some healthy attitudes that have helped help me.
- Let go of my "right" to lust. I can't afford it.
- Let go of my self-pity.
- Let go of my expectations.
- Let go of resentment.
- Don't try to "figure it out". I don't need to understand (read: control) everything.
- Realize that I am not in control of my life (B"H, there is Some ONE much better at it, and HE loves and cares about me unconditionally)
- Stay out of isolation. Connect to people (especially when feeling vulnerable).
- Humbly give to others (without expectation of reciprocation).
- Get of my 18 wheeler and onto a trycycle. Let go of my lofty expectations and accept my reality.
- Live in reality and not fantasy.
- Do NOT let a fantasy live in my head. Let go immediately. can't afford it.
- Be happy and humble.
- I will not die from a lust attack. Let it pass. I can be comfortable being uncomfortable.
- Be busy, especially if it involves being social.
- Excercise

Just some stuff that came to my mind, and I felt like putting it out there.

I wish everyone a k'siva v'chasima tova!

gibbor120 wrote:


Awesome stuff!
I need to keep this list before me always!
Gibbor, you have been more helpful than you can ever imagine!
גמר חתימה טובה

For anyone still left on GYE this late on Friday, and not out at the mall looking for bargains, IY"H, tomorrow, Shabbos Kodesh will be day 2,000 for me. (My sobriety date follows Kedusha's by about 3 weeks, so I always know when milestones are coming up). So, if you need an excuse to have an extra lechaim - you got it!

And if you read this on Sunday, please don't drink and drive .

Thank you all for being part of my recovery, and making me laugh quite a bit too!

mazel tov on the milestone may you be zoche until 43,800 days.

Wowie! Mazel Tov!!!!

Don't crash the servers...

mazel tov!

Thanks for inspiring us all!

Mazel Tov!

Although I'm quite new here, its an inspiration to know that yes IT IS POSSIBLE to reach sobriety if only...........

May you be Zoche to many more great accomplishments in life.

BeHatzlacha