I wonder why people with over 1 or 2 thousand posts are not SUPER HEROS???

Is It Necessary to Understand the Historical Causes?

Many people react negatively to the idea of trying to understand the historical
causes for emotional difficulties. Some are concerned that this will minimize the
person’s sense of personal responsibility. It is interesting to note that few people have
this concern when it comes to objective factors that can inhibit a person’s range of
choices at any given moment. For example, if a recent ba’al teshuva became upset with
himself for not being as proficient in his religious observance as others who are frum
from birth; would anyone object to reassuring him by pointing out that, because of his
history, it is understandable that this is more difficult for him than for others? Of course
not! If the reasons for a person’s difficulties are emotional in nature, however, people
become concerned that giving recognition to these reasons will somehow undermine his
sense of responsibility.4

Others question whether there is any need to spend so much time and emotional
energy digging up the past when all they want to do is to solve their current problems.
They suggest that, perhaps, they only need to focus on identifying the troublesome
patterns and then try to change them.

This trend of seeking short-term solutions to emotional difficulties is found even
among many mental health professionals. In recent years, the trend in the field of
psychotherapy has been toward Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT), which focuses only
on challenging the faulty beliefs and attitudes underlying many emotional difficulties. As
a result, many people believe that it is no longer important to uncover or discuss the
original historical causes of these problems. There is much evidence, however, that it is
necessary to understand the developmental roots of emotional difficulties in order to
achieve durable change even when using CBT.5

Only by fully understanding how problems, with all their emotional nuances,
developed can a person hope to discover the most effective means to overcoming his
problems. This is what I call “fighting smarter, not harder.”




Another important reason for a person to understand the historical reasons for his
difficulties is in order to counteract the feelings of inborn defectiveness and self-blaming that often paralyze those who struggle unsuccessfully over a long period of time to overcome a problem6

What do we call someone with over 3700 posts then ?

Wives are really able to handle a lot if they feel we are being honest with them.  If we are not... well you can think about that one.  I never would've thought that talking about my low self esteem, perfectionism etc could be a source of closeness to my wife, but that's exactly what I am experiencing right now!