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Enjoy the rain
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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!
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TOPIC: Enjoy the rain 367 Views

Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 15:04 #413471

I want to start working on this again.

But, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of failing.
I'm afraid of being vulnerable.
I'm afraid of returning to counting days after being so vehemently against it—and I still am.
I'm afraid of being mocked after having such strong opinions and thinking that I figured it out. The latest thing I'm figuring out is that I haven't the foggiest. Yet I still speak passionately, as though the fog isn't as thick as the Palisades on a rainy night.

On the other hand, porn is killing me.
[Insert gif of the fat boy deciding between two cookies.]

So, I'll pick up my wanderer stick and attempt to place one foot in front of its predecessor.

Notes to self:


  • Remember not to get dragged into the ego trip of GYEs Wall Of Honor.
  • You're doing this for yourself. Don't expect accolades or acknowledgment from anyone. Including your wife. In fact, most importantly, your wife.
  • Teach your tongue to say, "I don't know." Your mind already knows that, at least subconsciously, your communication needs to reflect that truth.
  • Rocky is right; life hits harder than anyone. (Whoever that darn "life" guy is.)


Anything else?

Oh, yeah. I'm putting this in the "Just Having Fun" section to remind me not to take life so seriously (no matter how hard it hits).
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 15:10 #413472

  • youknowwho
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Twisted wrote on 16 May 2024 15:04:


[Insert gif of the fat boy deciding between two cookies.]


Per red-faced's request:
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Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 16:49 #413478

"yeah I'm singing in the rain..."

Nothing more inspiring then seeing someone fall way down and still pick themselves back up! Let's gooooooooooooooooooo


And, yeah, none of us really know what we're talking about either (with some limited exceptions). We're all just enthusiastically sharing opinions. Because after all, what matters is doing not knowing. (This is just today's enthusiastic opinion, not a fact). 
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 17:01 #413483

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Twisted wrote on 16 May 2024 15:04:

I want to start working on this again.

But, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of failing.
I'm afraid of being vulnerable.
I'm afraid of returning to counting days after being so vehemently against it—and I still am.
I'm afraid of being mocked after having such strong opinions and thinking that I figured it out. The latest thing I'm figuring out is that I haven't the foggiest. Yet I still speak passionately, as though the fog isn't as thick as the Palisades on a rainy night.

On the other hand, porn is killing me.
[Insert gif of the fat boy deciding between two cookies.]

So, I'll pick up my wanderer stick and attempt to place one foot in front of its predecessor.

Notes to self:


  • Remember not to get dragged into the ego trip of GYEs Wall Of Honor.
  • You're doing this for yourself. Don't expect accolades or acknowledgment from anyone. Including your wife. In fact, most importantly, your wife.
  • Teach your tongue to say, "I don't know." Your mind already knows that, at least subconsciously, your communication needs to reflect that truth.
  • Rocky is right; life hits harder than anyone. (Whoever that darn "life" guy is.)


Anything else?

Oh, yeah. I'm putting this in the "Just Having Fun" section to remind me not to take life so seriously (no matter how hard it hits).

Twisted, a certain deep part of me is actually quite disappointed with this. I've always had it on the back of my mind, that when all else fails, to "embrace my inner darkness", (as you've once mentioned in conversation) and go the way of Twisted....

Now you're saying that is unmanageable too. 

Bah Humbug. 

Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 17:09 #413486

youknowwho wrote on 16 May 2024 17:01:

Twisted wrote on 16 May 2024 15:04:

I want to start working on this again.

But, I'm afraid.

On the other hand, porn is killing me.
[Insert gif of the fat boy deciding between two cookies.]


Twisted, a certain deep part of me is actually quite disappointed with this. I've always had it on the back of my mind, that when all else fails, to "embrace my inner darkness", (as you've once mentioned in conversation) and go the way of Twisted....

Now you're saying that is unmanageable too. 

Bah Humbug. 

To quote a recent powerful post from ilovehashem247:

i will keep on trying because i know that i have only two choices:
1. change
2. die

i don't want to die. 

hope that made sense.



This post needs to be a t shirt or something.
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 17:50 #413500

youknowwho wrote on 16 May 2024 17:01:
Twisted, a certain deep part of me is actually quite disappointed with this. I've always had it on the back of my mind, that when all else fails, to "embrace my inner darkness", (as you've once mentioned in conversation) and go the way of Twisted....

Now you're saying that is unmanageable too. 

Bah Humbug. 

I guess the message is that nothing is permanent.
Not the light, not the darkness, not "breaking free", etc.

It's best to enjoy whatever BS is on your plate at the moment.
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Enjoy the rain 16 May 2024 19:35 #413515

  • chancy
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"Dont take life so seriously, you are never getting out of it alive anyway"

Re: Enjoy the rain 21 May 2024 18:36 #413809

Welcome to the first challenging day of my current trip.

I'll try to heed my advice and "enjoy the BS on my plate."

At the moment, my plate has a heaping dollop of sexual tension. The way my brain is used to enjoying this is via the good ol' porn route.

Let's see if I can enjoy the tension for what it is.

I shall let you know. Perhaps next week.

GRRR
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Enjoy the rain 21 May 2024 18:54 #413811

  • cande
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Twisted wrote on 21 May 2024 18:36:
Welcome to the first challenging day of my current trip.

I'll try to heed my advice and "enjoy the BS on my plate."

At the moment, my plate has a heaping dollop of sexual tension. The way my brain is used to enjoying this is via the good ol' porn route.

Let's see if I can enjoy the tension for what it is.

I shall let you know. Perhaps next week.

GRRR

not this again 

"connected" post=384661 date=1660486093 catid=4

Q: What's the way the cookie crumbles?
A: That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Last Edit: 21 May 2024 18:57 by cande.

Re: Enjoy the rain 21 May 2024 19:27 #413813

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Twisted wrote on 21 May 2024 18:36:
Welcome to the first challenging day of my current trip.

I'll try to heed my advice and "enjoy the BS on my plate."

At the moment, my plate has a heaping dollop of sexual tension. The way my brain is used to enjoying this is via the good ol' porn route.

Let's see if I can enjoy the tension for what it is.

I shall let you know. Perhaps next week.

GRRR

It may be easier to heed the advice if you blame it on someone else....
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: Enjoy the rain 23 May 2024 17:59 #413940

Q: What's the way the cookie crumbles?
A: That's the way the cookie crumbles.



I have since discovered the delights of soft, chewy cookies.
They don't crumble as much.
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Enjoy the rain 23 May 2024 18:11 #413943

  • chosemyshem
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But when they do crumble you often lose a whole chunk of the cookie, not just the little flakes from a hard cookie.

Not a metaphor. I just like cookies.

Re: Enjoy the rain 06 Jun 2024 15:07 #414781

Can someone please point me in the direction of the deep end?

What's in the deep end? - Cosmo Kramer
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: Enjoy the rain 06 Jun 2024 16:06 #414785

  • redfaced
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Twisted wrote on 06 Jun 2024 15:07:
Can someone please point me in the direction of the deep end?

What's in the deep end? - Cosmo Kramer

Well, I'm in the deep end. Feel free to join me. Way too much chlorine, if you ask me . I WANT OUT!!!!
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: Enjoy the rain 06 Jun 2024 16:25 #414790

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Twisted wrote on 06 Jun 2024 15:07:
Can someone please point me in the direction of the deep end?

What's in the deep end? - Cosmo Kramer

The deep end is where you realize you should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque....
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