It seems the GYE board decided to lock The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 

I guess they realized that there aren't any depressed people on GYE, or that depressed people don't chill, or maybe they just stopped catering to that minority.

In any case, I've realized that in the stone age of GYE, people seemed well-versed in the subtle art of having a good time. Maybe I'm delusional, but in the words of an old-timer (regarding his fellow old-timers), they were more jovial. I think this is an important, and perhaps lost, ingredient for success. Meaning I need to stop taking myself so seriously all the time. Of course, that has its place too. Trauma needs to be addressed, and healing has to take place, but I need to remember that, as hard as I might try to hold on, I'm not in control, so I might as well enjoy the ride.

A YY Jacobson joke:

A man and woman were recently celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

While cutting the cake, the wife was moved after seeing her husband’s eyes fill with tears.

The wife took his arm and looked at him affectionately.

“I never knew you were so sentimental,” she whispered.

“No . . . No . . .” he said, choking back his tears, “That’s not it at all. Remember when your father found us in the barn and told me to either marry you or spend the next 50 years in jail?”

“Yes,” the wife replied. “I remember it like yesterday.”

“Well,” said the husband, “Today I would have been a free man.”

Another one (thank you, YY for helping me chill in style):


A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas to speak with an old rancher.

"I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The DEA officer verbally exploded: "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I wish. No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, he looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Your badge, show him your BADGE!"

connected wrote on 24 Jul 2023 16:44:

Thanks; it's unlocked now.

cordnoy wrote on 24 Jul 2023 19:35:

Much thanks to R’ Cords R’ Connected for hooking is back up

tzitzis dude wrote on 24 Jul 2023 22:22:

Now we can get some real recovery done.

An 85-year-old couple was going on vacation, when they suddenly died in a plane crash.

They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise.

When they reached heaven, an angel took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As his wife 'oohed' and 'aahed' at their new possessions, the old man asked the angel how much all of this was going to cost. "It's all free," the angel replied. "We are in heaven, after all."

Next, they surveyed the lush championship golf course behind their home, where they were entitled to play every day.

Of course, all the old man wanted to know was: "How much are the green fees?"

"It's free!" came the reply.

Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet on offer, with all of the world's different cuisines on offer, every meal cooked to perfection.

"How much do we have to pay for two?" asked the old man.

"Don't you get it?!" the angel replied, exasperated. "It's all free; you're in heaven!"

"Well, where are the low-fat and cholesterol tables then? The food won't have too many calories, will it?" the old man asked, looking quite worried.

"That's the best part of heaven," the angel said excitedly. "You can eat as much of whatever you want, and you won't gain a single gram!"

The old man turned angrily to his wife and said, "You and your farkakta bran muffins! We could have been here ten years ago!"

connected wrote on 25 Jul 2023 15:48:

Gold. 
Happens to be, I know a guy who’s been saying this for years- in k’mat the same lashon… Do we know each other??? (insert Twilight Zone theme music)

tzitzis dude wrote on 26 Jul 2023 02:20:

Hmm... There's a strong likelihood that we do. Or maybe we just got it from the same upstream source.
How curious are you?

connected wrote on 26 Jul 2023 14:44:

Waaaaay

Bottom line, why did the chicken cross the road?
Was this ever settled?
Was it something he was trying to get away from, or was there something better on the other side?

Maybe he was confronted with an inappropriate sight on his side, so he crossed. (Like some people I know)
Or maybe, he saw something attractive on the other side, so he went to get a better look. (Like some other people I know even better)

Is a chicken even a "he"? Isn't a male chicken called a rooster?
(According to Frank Costanza, there are three types: the hen, the rooster, and the chicken. And the rooster is perverse.)

In any case, I think the question is invasive. Butt out of the chicken's life and ask yourself why you cross the road when you do. Why did I enter this aisle in the grocery when there was nothing I needed to buy there? (Answer: there was a very attractive woman there, and I wanted a better look.)

Smart-aleck:If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Smarter-aleck:Do trees fall in forests if no one is around? Maybe they just lie down.

Smartest of all Alex: According to quantum mechanics, the whole forest doesn't exist if no one is around.

There was once an old God-fearin' Jew
Who dreamt he was kissin' his shoe
He woke up in the night
In a terrible fright 
And found it was perfectly true!

Seems he had a .... feetish.

If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions.
Argue.

Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl.
Unless, of course, you have the closet space.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.
And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that.

Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao is not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction.
With the third, Danish.

Be patient and achieve all things.
Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer.
Ask only, "Is it good for the Jews?"

Be here now.
Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have? Bupkes.

So here we are on a site called "guard you're yes".

He used to be way more active.